"His Worship the Mayor."

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2809, 28 January 1888, Page 2

"His Worship the Mayor."

The following amusing sketch is taken from the Wairarapa Standard: Mr Adam Sell, special correspondent of the New York Tribune, and who is now " doing" New Zealand in the interests of his paper, has kindly permitted us to glance over his notes, By his sanction we extract the subjoined specimen of the blighting manner in which a foresighter views the important and dignified municipal contest now proceeding at Masterton: "Masterton, Wellington (N.Z), is a blessed Beulah. When the wind does not hoist the train over a precipice, or capsize it on the plain, and when the floods are not out, it may be reached from Wellington. It is seldom reached from anywhere, and the people generally slumber peacefully, far from the madding crowd, 'midst the holy hush of a sacred and solemn past, tempered by bush nun. They ask of the infrequent stranger how the Chartist riots are gettin' along and whether old nosy Dook of Wellington keeps his health purty well, considerin'. Masterton has a Mayor. He arrived with Tasman—or earlier. This interesting relio has been Mayor, off and on, ever since the township first emerged from chaos and primeval tussocks, until twenty-five years ago. Way back in '62, he married aud retired. Last year lie emerged, after a rest of a quarter of a century, as good as new, and with a stock of weird cussedness horn of his long honeymoon. He ran for Mayor, promising to " make things warm for them there new-fangled beings as they call Councillors." He was elected. When he hefted the seals he said:— " It's time as Masterton had a waiter supply; we've bin a-talldng 'bout it since Captain Cook's time." Next day he ripped up' the main street, turned a river into it, and drowned a Bawbath School super, and a local bank manager. Hereon the Council represented they could not allow his Worship to play up like this, and forbade him to proceed before submitting plans and specifications. He allowed he'd see 'em all whipped round the ramparts of Sheol afore he'd show 'em any adjective spaffifications," and he pulled the spile out of another river and tore up some more streets. The Council called a public meeting to protest, but the 6.0.M. attending hurled a Councillor out of the Chair, took it himself, and carried a resolution authorising him '-to drownd that there blawsted Council." Then the Council summoned that there hoary patriot, for trespass, and he at once turned.two mountain streams over the delivery counter of the local P.O. The inhabitants are" now building an ark by subscription, and as soon as the E.M. can hire a steam launch, and the water aubsidea in the Courthouse, skin and hair may be expected to circulate."