PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2769, 8 December 1887, Page 2

PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES

BY Our Wellington Watchman.

If I were once again keeping the official ship's log of some tall Indiaman, I should describe the (Parliamentary) weather of the past week as distinguished by "light winds and calms, with occasional squalls from all points of- the compass," There has been a decided tendency on the part of members of both sides of the House to do business. Whether this proceeds from the innate love of progress, or from a wholesome dread of the vox populi, and what " My Constituents" may say, I will not attempt to decide. Certain it is something lias been attempted, something done, and though the original Adam will every now and again assert itself in our unregenerate representatives, they have kept that old serpent within them in decent subjection, and the stonewalling tactics of the Opposition, have not been peculiarly objectionable until Tuesday night last, when the committal of the Representation Act, 1887, Amendment Bill came on for discussion,

Major Atkinson has had success with three of his Bills—those relating to the Governors', Ministers, and Members' screws—and lam not going to say that these successes have not inflated the Hon, gentleman, because I think they have, and that, day by day, the Major becomes what Mr Sydenham Taylor would call more " hawfully harbitary." Some few weeks ago, a military hero of great renown, wrote a pamphlet about our Defence Forces, in which he asked— I write from memory—" Who saved Eome ?" " Who killed Cock Robin ?" "Whochawed up the Maories?"or questions to the same effect, Each time the writer supplied the reply to his own query, and the answer was—"Why, Major Atkinson and his bushwhackers !" Well, the truth is, the bushwhacking Major has never forgotten his bushwhackers; has never forgotten that he once led them, and thinks lie leads them now, and when lie has made up his mind to carry a measure, he bushwhacks it through, and on the faintest sign of opposition complains of obstruction, and threatens court-martial.

It strikes me, however, that what our House now suffers frerm is too little opposition and too much Government party, and such a party, without a strong, homogeneous and vigilant opposition, is likely to become corrupt. Some of the rail-sitters have ratted to the strong side, and day by day the followers of Yogel show a less solid front. Under these circumstances, and iu the absence of Ballance—whose opposition, by the way, has been remarkably lukewarm, even when expressed—we cannot blame the courageous but excitable Mr Seddon if he, as he does, very frequently places himself iu evidence.

It seems to me that we have fallen behind in these Parliamentary sketches. My last date, 1 perceive, was Tuesday, November 29th, the Lands Act Amendment Bill being the subject of debate. If I return to Tuesday evening, November 29, it is simply to record a vital and omitted fact. It is this: Mr Georgeßeetham, member for Masterton, lias made a conquest. Let us hasten to congratulate him. The way it happened was this: On Tuesday evening last, might have been noticed, for the first time in that House, a lady, let us say of a certain age—that is, certainly something on the right side of man's allotted span—wearing a pork-pie hat, corkscrew curls, and an air of unmitigated melancholy. The streams of Scotch eloquence which flowed like a mountain torrent, or the whisky from a bungless cask, failed to attraGt the attention of the blushing damsel. But presently Mr Beetham arose. Ah! then indeed cauie a change o'er the spirit of that fair creature's dream. She strained forward at the first note of the Hon. George's mellifluent voice, a tender blush o'ercast her cheek, as when the rosy dawn blushes at the approach of the bridegroom sun. She folded her hands and hung like a bee upon the flower, upon the honey of George's eloquent lips. She, even in that prosaic hall, dreamed a dream of bliss and fancy. She thought herself Pauline to Geqrge's Melnotte, Juliet to his JRoineo—what else, I know not. He ceased, and the lovelight died from her eyes; once more the air of sadness overcast her interesting but mature features—her sun had set. But ever since then she sittith high up in the gallery, her only pleasure in life when the Hon. beloved arises to move a point of order, or to ask a question. Who gives her the tickets ? that's what I want to know. Furthermore, no member has a right to be so killing as the member for Masterton evidently is. If he has this fatal effect on the fair sex, he should wear a vizor of some sort, and go down to posterity j as the New Zealand " Man with the 1 Iron Mask."'

Taking about the fstir spx, it jp nqt impulsing to watflh the dignity and condescension with which the ladies—presumably members wives—in the front row regard the females of lesser social calibre in the back seats, When a new arrival enters, they turn and languidly stock of her bonnet, and wonder among themselves •' Who is {hat wnftnmy dear ?" anc] qrjtjcise the details of lieu toilet with intelligent contempt. One cannot help wondering why ladies subject themselves to the heat, bad air, and hard unsympathetic seats of the gallery for long weary hours, and with apparently inexhaustible patience, It certainly oamiot be to listen to the eloquence of members, beoause imprimis they do not listen, and, mondus, there'is no eloquence to listen to. It can hardly be to look at members either, for the back rows cannot see our senators, and all the beautiful occupants of that gallery where all arc beautiful, keep their eyes riyfited on Ow Wellington

Watchman. I am reluctantly compelled, therefore, to believe that the dear creatures simply come to see,' and he seen by me.

Wednesday, November 30th, was, even in a calendar of uneventful days, uneventful. Sir Julius Vogel) in his most sympathetic mood, almost wept over the sorrows of that Auckland little girl who was caned by order of a clerical Auckland schoolmaster for failing to bring certain tithes due to that gentleman. Sir Julius, though with an evident desire to build a large mountain out of a small molehill, protested strongly, and I think properly, against the subjection of any girl to corporal punishment, save at the hands of her mother. Of course some one duly trotted out Solomon and his rod, an absurd saying which lias excused to themselves the brutality of elders who have not the patience and self-com-mand to train the young by kindness and to awaken in tliem, not a fear of punishment but a regard for honor—which, by the way, was the celebrated and enlightened Dr Arnold's method. Sir Julius Vogel pointed out that matters had changed since the days of the wise bigamist of Israel, and that with such a peculiarly large' family stern discipline of some sort was doubtless a necessity. When I have .heard good old wiseacres prating about " sparing the rod, etc.," I have often thought that if their pet saying be worth anything the rod, in their case, must have been considerably spared, for their conduct very frequently shows no sign of the benefits of early castigation.

The Phenomenon, in supporting his leader, was really funny at the expense of the Minister of Education, He said—and he is probably an authority on the subject, his experience being recent—that there was, lie could assure members a great difference between caning and 'flogging. Perhaps the Minister of Education might lot know this. Perhaps in that gentleman's youth the rod had been spared—with the deplorable results which we see.

Here Mr Buchanan made a ghastly attempt to be humorous. He asked the Phenomenon if he would kindly inform the House what was the difference between caning and flogging. The Phenomenon replied that he left that to the sense of feeling of Hon. Members. I like Mr Buchanan, I rospect him; on the subject of firewood he is immense, but humor is not his metier,

On Thursday, December Ist, Mr Mitchelson inaudibly moved, and Mr Richardson, the ex-Minister, inaudibly commented upon the Government Railway Bill. It would be impossible to say which was the most heartrending performance.

In the evening Sir J. Vogel continued the comments in, as he assured the House—"no hostile spirit." He is evidently enamored of pur railways, of the manner in which they are managed, and deeply impressed with beauties, mental and moral, of the beloved and departed Maxwell. Members did not seem to pine much after railway matters, as very few of them were present. After Sir Julius, Sir John Hall stepped gingerly into the arena. Sir John does not impress, though I admit he depresses me profoundly. I can detect nothing about this gentleman that would lead me to believe that lie was ever the leader of a party and the House, though there is an aroma of Methodistical sanctity about him suggestive of the leader of a Sabbath-school. He has an ordinary but benign physiognomy, and a large penholder wherewith to point his periods. Item ajblack coat, waistcoat and continuations, eye-glasses ( pince «««), as also a watch chain, and does not appear desirous of injuring a worm. He has no evident jocosity, and in common with by far the largest proportion of our Representatives, views this sublunary sphere as a vale of tears. Major Atkinson, loosely laid out on a bench, like an Irish body ready for waking, takes stock of Sir John, and occasionally encourages him with a Hear! Hear! where no hear! hear! should be. Sir Jojin, speaks with that dreary gusto with which a very low churchman reads that peculiar and cursory portion of the Church of England service. He said, among other things, that New Zealanders were not made for railways but railways for New a statement which Mr- Maxwell would probably consider the rankest sort of blasphemy.

In the evening a large assortment of members were attired in white chokers, clean biled rags, and swallow tailed bergees, looking more or less uncomfortable -generally more—but quite sober, having assisted at a Gubernatorial banquet. The Phenomenon surveyed his evening togs and expanse of shirt bosom with that satisfied admiration not untinctured with amazement which small boys always evince when they assume for the first time the virile toga, A certain perplexity evinced by the Phenomenon as he sat glorifying himself in his for-the-fjrst-timp-worn dressSuit, irresistibly reminded me oj the following passage in " Dombey' and OQH." '' Mr Toots was one blaze of jewellery and buttons, and ho felt the circumstance so strongly, that when he hud shaken hunds with the Doctor, and had bowed to jira Blimber and Miss Blimber, he took Paul aside, and said What dp you think q( tbis Dqmbey ?" But, npt\yithstsnd|ng this modest confident in himself, Mr Toots appeared to be inyfilyed i|i « good deal of uncertainty Whctljer, on the whole, itwqs judicious to button the bottom button of his waistcoat, and whether, on a calm revision of all the circumstances, it wgs best to wear his wristbands turned up or turned down, Observing that Mr Feeder's were turned up, Mr Toots turned Ins up j but the wristbands of the next arrival being turned down, Mr Toots turned his down,"

Monday December 5, After tlie usual notices &0., Major Atkinson moved the second reading of the Representation Act 1887, Amendment Bill. The gallant warrior seemed to be in a more bushwhacking humour than ever, for when asked to speak louder he declared that tJiere was so

much noise he could not makehimself heard. There was a good deal of elegant conversation going on, but the Premier is the last who should complain, he being a notorious sinner in this direction, and continually drawing upon himself, the rebukewhilf serious and yet semi-humorous ofßir Geofge Grey.

The Maori members kicked lustily at any reduction of Maori members, and Mr Carroll made a short speech, ; noticeable for good English, neat dietion, and correct elocution. Mr Taipua thought that instead of reducing the number of Maori members they should be increased and place them on . the same footing as Europeans. Now that alldanger of war was past, theEuropeans and Maories should live together as one people. It would ba* better, he said, for the Maori mem-> bers to leave that house altogether, indeed lie would be prepared to do so, were that measure passed. I do not think these native gentlemen need fear. The Premier will square the Maori vote, or I am no prophet.

Mr Seddon, who said his ssurfc sank within him, but did not appear as if that operation hurt him, shot tempestuous glances at the Premier from beneath louring brows, and smote him, hip and thigh, with rhetorical thunderbolts. He spoke wisely and truly of the present want, of a community of interests and of the absurd local jealousies that unhappily prevail. During the time that Seddon was castigating wealth, land-rings, tyrannical majorities and other matters, his faithful Achates, Kerr, sat as usual mazed in a deep wonderment at the fatal fluency of his friend. The position became serious, however, i when Mr Kerr was seen for the time within the memory of living man to take a note, parliamentary. Seddon declared his undying animosity to the Bill until such time as the Financial Statement was brought down, and until it was known what measure of self-government the Premier intended to accord us, and concluded by isfi&ng an amendment, which was secHlefl by Taranaki Samuel, who made a good speech, declaring that every class should be represented in that House, and speaking a good word for that maligned class, the professional politicians.

Suddenly, as a fly-beguiled Salmon . leaps, Mr Fish bounded up to a point of order. Was it right, he hoarsely screeched, for a Member to go round asking how other Members were going to vote ? While Fish is the Cerberus of the House, let us be sure that the National honor is safe. Mr Fish, in the absence of Sir Robert Stout, is New Zealand's sole surviving patriot. He should take out a patent for it. Sir Julius would not exactly oppose the Bill, but backed the demand for the Financial Statement. He . has lately got into the habit of deeply sympathising with the Government, and his sympathy cuts. Atkinson pleaded that lie had been obstructed, and again Fish bounded to a pojSof order to protest against such a remark. Seddon, pointing out that tliree important Bills had been passed in one evening, denied the obstruction, and declared that he, for one, would not relinquish his privileges as a member, , and would continue to give his opinion when he liked. Infinitesimal Fitchett agreed there was obstruction—during those fifteen days the House was shut up.

Sir George Grey understood that if lie spoke then, he would lose his right to move on the main question. Seddon: " Not without you like. „ Sir George," M The Speaker ruled that he woula lose his right.

Seddon; " But, Sir George can speak en the main question ?" The Speaker: " Yes." Seddon: "You can speak, George," ft Then Sir George considered this proposition in his grave and sagacious way, with perhaps a faint glimmer of far off risibility on his lips, and then commenced slowly to peel. First lie removed his comforter. (Great applause) Then his great coat. (Tumultuous applause.) Now ho straightens himself up, and throws a parthian glance at the Premier, and the applause redoubles. Well, this brief scene looks nothing in print, yet, to the habitue of the House, it tells a story. Everyone welcomes Sir George: most like him and respect him; yet his oratory alters the opiniou of no one. Why this should be thus, I humbly leave to philosophers. Facing the Premier,W/ "He reminds me," said Sir George, * " of some great Eastern necromancer, whom we read of in Eastern story, who had slaves slaves of a ring slaves of a casket - slaves of a slaves of a Bank" (roars of laughter). Produoe jse, these pauses, I pray ye, Mr PriiW. " A slave of a Bank, bound to do its will and help rob the people."

But I fear I have outrun my allotted space,