PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2742, 4 November 1887, Page 2

PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES.

BY Our Wellington Watchman.

Wellington, November 2,

Somewhere off the West Coast of Africa, in the latitude of the Gulf of Guinea, if my nautical memory does not play me false, a peculiar meteorological phenomenon may occasionally be witnessed by the voyager. The ship, we will suppose, is sailing gaily on a summer sea; above, the cerulean sky, below, the cerulean tranquil waters, All sail is set, and the white stun-'sails belly to the favoring, gentle breeze, Suddenly on the port quarter, if sailing south, a slight breeze appears, and may be a few drops of rain—summer heat, the inexperienced -mariner thinks—are seen to fall; the slight squall passes away to leeward, and there—perhaps-an end. But the result may be different. Without the slightest barometrical disturbance, the squall may be seen to turn in its tracks, and with lightning speed work down, apparently dead against the wind; and in a few minutes, what was once a scene of beauty and peace becomes the theatre on which a-.demon gale, blowing sails .out of their bolt ropes, and riving stout spars—is raging;.' the sea,, a few, moments before wa3 as calm as'a mill pond, is lashed to fury, the sky darkens, and generally, to use a shellbacks metapljor, "'thero'is.the.devil to pay, and liopifcoli hot." . ?..

• This treachorous storm -is 'called a Harmattan, and in a'political sense, a'Parliamentary Harmattan has been fo'qling around the.House ever since Friday last. At present'we have only had the mist-.and the drops of rain;; : the. gale itself has. not yet worked •back, but it is coining, and Holy •Sailor! when it comesithere will be some torn political canyass, and a few yards and masts over .the side,- From which you may gather that I am looking out foi' squalls. '■. ■ .

Togo back. Members'rolled up last Friday evening with considerable reluctance, apparently, It is possible that the unwonted heat of tlie day had dissipated their energies,'or perhaps their wonted holiday had=been of an enervating nature. Certainly, it is the spring time, and perhaps some of the bachelors had been a wooing, for we have poor old Tennyson's: authority for the statement:

" In the spring a livelier iris changes on the

burnished dove, r In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, 1 --

At the same time members'.'of the House, generally speaking, area'rather old'lot of boys to go courting. Masters Perceval and,iW. Ptseeves :ruight do a little thaVway,'because colonial boys are proverbially:;|jecocious and want to wo'd ere they are out of their teens; and-'young Mr?sVard

looks nice and'sweet enough to be kept in the neatest of feminine band boxes, but the remainder are rather elderly and rusty, always of "course excepting Mr Vincent Pyke, who, by the natural beauty of his- appearance and the geniality: of his manners, is eminently fitted to'shine as a'cavalier. Be the reason what, it may, our'representatives on Friday were languid* •'

Nevertheless the list of questions on the Order, Paper was large, and there were a considerable number of petitions presented. Our old friend Mr Monk, Mariana Monk, presented'a petition, an<J presented it very nicely, with that air of tender melancholy which befits him. There is something rather taking about Mr Monk; he has an ascetic expression and intellectual Physiognomy, and looks a man who under certain circumstances could both suffer and do. He has spruced himself up a good deal and wears, I am glad to see, a tender, pink flower in his button hole. This gives him an air of sad and serious gaiety, as of a Buddhist priest who had decorated himself with a blossom which had been cast upon his shrine.

Mr Boss presented a petition from Dr Stuart-who, by the way, is a white man and a christian—and a number of Dunedinites, in favor of bible-reading in State schools. It is needless to Bii-y that Mr Ross shed round the petition an atmosphere of bland benevolence, and if the Bible-reading-in-schools party throughout New Zealand would but entrust their petitions to Mr Ross, I am sure no Government could resist them, and we would shortly have the Bible and the shorter catechism, and nothing else, read in our Educational establishments. Mr Ross in his own verson seems to say: "Look at me! See the benevolence and blaudness stamped -on.- these features; mark these lovely locks of pure seraphic white; reflect upon these Sunday-go-' to-meeting togs! All these beauties and blandnesses are the result of my bible-reading at school. Extend similar blessings to Young New Zealand, and it too shall grow up bland and benevolent looking, and with white, patriarchal locks." Mr Ross does not say all this. He looks.it. He, so to speak " dresses the character."

I have been looking very anxiously to discover Dr Fitchett, the gentleman who made Sir Robert Stout an offer of his seat. I have-always a curiosity to behold a man .who gives .away,, or rather, offers to give away, something he ..wants himself. Of course the Dr may. have been perfectly iu. earnest, only I have some'dim..reoolleotion, dating from the days of ohildhqod, of seeing young innocents offer the boy with a big bag of lollies one put. of their own scanty store. This sort of generosity is judicious, because the chances are, the hoy with more lollies than be can eat will not accept it, and that he will still retain a grateful recollection of the would-be donor. Stout has plenty of lollies to' enjoy besides the parliamentary lolly. However, the fact of the offer made me curious, and I have, since the House met, been on the qui vine for Dr Fitchett. I have only just discovered him. Little Dr Fitchett is not easy to distinguish—without a microscope. When he is discovered he is rather interesting. Garbed in black, he wears the smallest piece of red silk pocket-handkerchief protruding. This is neither dandyism nor vanity. He sports the red simply that his .party may know in what direction to search for him—when they want him. But, although the Doctor is small, I do not think he is by any means insignificant. He has a smart-looking, closelycropped, bullet head, which has something in the shape of brains in it, and though he looks physically tiny, he is just one of,those men you might make a big mistake about. I remember Mr Back, the late Traffic Manager of New Zealand Railways, who was by no means deficient in muscle or pluck, once told me of a mistake he made in this way. Back, who had roughed it in his time, was once trying to yoke a refractory bullock, which turned stupid owing to a small and insignificant stranger who stood near. Back asked the stranger to move on one side, but the stranger seemed to enjoy seeing the bullockand Back wrestling, and did not move. Then Mr Baok became cursory in his observations, and threatened to.punch the little man's head, and the small party said he would enjoy that, and and Back started to punch. It was delightful to hear Mr Back recount against himself the varieties of punchfecdM at the hands of the insignificant one, who walked round him sweetly, but gbverely.' When Back had.received as muoh hammer' jng as he .thirsted for, and the.Bmall person, had departed, the usual d—d good-natured friend informedl.ihok, that he "bad been : engaged' with, the champion, light-weight of Viotoria. Well, Dr Fitchett looks something that way, and so, for the present, I intend to b6 civil to him.

; ./There' was but little, done onJriday. Among other things Sir Julius Vogel made an explanation regarding the Midland Railway, after, which, as is generally the case with' Sir Julius's explanations, the whole subject became as transparent as^mud-thicttj, mud. „■: i/'i

The difficulty of hearing, let alone understanding, the ex - Colonfel Treasurer reminds me that the accomodation in the. press-gallery iafstill simply execrable. Thanks \d the President and Vice-President of the gallery, this infernal.JElysiufi has been somewhat improved, but it is still a place of torture which;'" wants reconstructing. 'i;. i

I perceive that I' have wobbled along at such a rate thai I have hot' left myself room for ifthe event? of Tuesday, and I must.; therefore,, with your permission, ciontirwe this*:a!{etcli in Saturday's Daili. ; v ,'...•••