A REFORM BILL INDEED.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2716, 4 October 1887, Page 2

A REFORM BILL INDEED.

. Pp in Beef Gap, Idaho, says the Arizona Star, there is a new City .Marshal. He was" Onion Bill" before his election, but now they call him "Chief,".ami add respectfully bis last name, Birdcll,- Here is' a, copy of" a circular lie -poßtcd in prominent places iuthe town and its outskirts. It lias ha'tl a good effect :• -.Notice. ~< '■'

This is to inform' all cituens of Beef Gap, and strangers sojouruiug therein, that on and after this date, Monday,' Nov, 2.5,1880, it will bo unlawful in this townjoranybody to carouse, cuss,' or whoop. V; ■. On and after this datealso there- . will be in this town— ; . No.more compelling people to drink when they dou't feel like it; :.. '.No nipro shooting of plug hate j . I No moiuskort-card games of chance;. No more drinking of .whisky out Of bottles when the bars ure open.. No more noisy deviltry. Any fflan ,'driving or riding a horse into a public bar will ba allot. Any man or men compelling another man to danca will be shot. ' Any man raking down the pot at poker without the cards to baoli it up will be shot dead. .Tramps, tin-horn gamblers, backdoor lunchevs, beggars, boneyard bummers, scrappers, aud coffin-paint demolishers are warned away from. Beef Gap. It is tho determination of tho now I dministration to usher in an era of new reform, and all good citizens will array themselves on the sido of the law. All others will be turned .over to the Coroner.—By the Mayor, Bui. BirdeiX,'Chief, - APHORISMS.".':

A man is, m geuoralfbete ploas# when he has a good dimier upon his table than, who.u his wife speaks Greek ~BomuelJohiisoii. '.■'"'.

Always leara' to think.;.and- act %■ yourselves., Learn to. say. no;. it.. will-. bVof more sen-ice to yoa:-tkau,:iq,be. able to read Latin.—Lavat'ev. ■ •"". -' A-house is no house into it ..contains food. and. -fire for the mind as well as tk body.—Marg^rotFuller.':' Be a. list'oncr.; -To. appsiir .in... tereatedinthflxouvercatipa'.w 'others is'a uiark'of good brewing.: -There is a better gift thiiu that of Tongue.: it is 'the' gift of holding "the .iongtie.Tboreau, '."" .',.-,'•." . ; .1; v'Novor. shQw inipatieuco'.,.. Always" defend the absent as far aVtiatu •will admit.—Addison- '-'..-... : : . .:■■■■:■.

'"; Tlio lesfj of a- mail-19 not-whtthev: he can' govern a kingdom- singlohanded, but whethGi' his private life is tender and beneficßnfc-aad-and. childreu ■' happy.--Jtiliari Hawthorne;, '.■•■■ ; '. ••-.■ ...', ■'.:'■■'

Cheerfulness, is the. bright weather of tho;heart. Pleasant, oheerful-cou-versation should be the rule at the table, it is-a breach of good breeding for one member of the 'family- to sit down to the table and silently read the daily paper.—Taylor. Do not anticipate trouble-and worry about what may never happen, Keep in the sunlight.—Franklin. No woman can bo handsome by the force of features alouo, any more than sho can be witty only by the help of. speech.—Hughes. If you would not have affliction twice, listen at oncoto what it teaches.

HIS HONuKS LEVEE,

INNOCENCE AND VIRTUE.

"Mr'Stebbins, who is that calliug I" asked His Honor as he laid down his pen and listened. (> It's a poor innocent woman, sir, She's just been tolliug me her story, and I pity her from the bottom of my heart."

"Sad story, is it f "Very sad. . Her husband was drowned, three of her children died of scarlet fover, 'arid yesterday the undertaker came and seized her furniture in payment of tho bill. Yes it's a very sad case."

" Well, bring her out and well investigate. She may be an unfortunate." ,

" Oh, there can't beany doubt of it

sir" • / .".'." Stebbins entered the corridor and soon reappeared in tbo socioty of a female about, 50 years old. She bad a rod nose, a very untidy appearance, aud bad scarcely come to the desk when sbo turned to Mr. Stebbins with: '■ ■ "Ob, you old bald-headed hypocrito, but how I'd love to dance on ■your grave I 1';:/.; -■- ! \' i: "Is this your poor, innocent woman Mr Stebbins ?".qneried his Honor. . ' The Jan.itor blushed red,-green, and yellow,' pat on a heartbroken look, arid skulked away without a word in reply, ." "Well,• Mrs Bennett, so you are here again? , "Ah 1 Judge! don't speak that wiy to me! If you only kuew- ■■oiy troubles!" . "I.do. You get drank."

"Oh 1 My huslwnd aud ohildrcn!" "Oottio uow. 1 know you well, Your'children" were grown up long ago, and your husband ran away from you in 1870. Don't try any sympathy job on*me." " Well, what do you waut to know?"

'< Whether you plead guilty or aot."

- " I'll never plead guilty while I oan draw breath. I- simply had a few words, with my neighbor. It was about, a dog—my. dog. Judge, did you ever seeiny darling pet 1". "Never."

" Well, he's so purty and knowing that you'd love him on' sight, Yesterday ay neighbor kickei hiw tytaq

ribs and I resented it. No, Htiman being can kick my pet tfien I'm around." " I shall send you up for sixty days." "I'll not go." /£■■ " But you'll.have to." A ( v\. - ' "Well see about that! man: who puts his hand on ; me ff fiave'a.awibamipg .pf tKe bead!" ~;'Wheniße^fcrtincJL. ''t'j&athers efttenw, ■. : wfflik&fjd b'e increased to'Mi'wtoths .v; •- ? .she gave in, "biit;.aa_.Bj;.ebbin3 ;iflQOflfed:;..':.:. kick • whic;h,;h;early dislocated .'his ; ;. ■[ shoulder. ..". ■