PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES BY Our Wellington Watchman.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2602, 19 May 1887, Page 2

PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES BY Our Wellington Watchman.

Wellington, May 18, I omitted to mention in my last that in the discussion oil the Native Land Administration Act Amendment Bill, a now member, aMr Monk—a melancholy malo " Mariana of the Moated Grange"—caused quite a ripple on tho parliamentary " sluice with blackened waters," He was, in his sad way both fluont and fervid, regarding tho wrongs which the native race had suffered at our hands, and as he warmed to his subject betrayed an inclination to favor us, not only with the traditional history, but with the mystic and occult lore of the Maoris. Just when he had worked us up to fear that a Taniwha or some other creature equally inconvenient and uncanny might enter the House, and carry off the somnolent member for Stanmore, the Premier, by one of his jwepj.'gasijjle interjections, diverted the Hon. Monk, and earned for himself one of those frequent little Verbal castigations which would penetrate anything less impervious than a North British skin. '.'Tlje Hon. Premier," said Mr Monk, " must excueo my manner of speaking. I have not his experience in the art of talking. I would that he had my subject in hand, he would mako every table in the place to speak," He might have said "to howl,"

Then tho " savago" and his interpreter arose. The yellow man was ornate and eloquent in his speech, animated in facial expression; the interpreter the most crushingly matter of fact person conceivable. The contrast between tho two mon hidiproufr • Had I not known that the Maori was by eyery civilized canon of taste a mere barbarian, I might jsye supposed him to be the handsomest, most intelligent, and gentlemanly looking man in the House. Why, the creature was a bora orator; his words iike the sounds of soft filefiring on the summer night air from s.onje sstant side, with everaaclagain 9kgieiot? broking ii) wiW find free.. He delivered, a roupded polished sentence at a time', gad waited for his interpreter .to repeat it to tbc House, which that gentleman did in tones as emotionless as a. rattle of a cab in a quiet street. Said the Maori, for instance, in cheery accents

" In all my transactions within this Bill,. I knew what I was about." (ffos like ringing rifle-shots, "Hear. I Hear." frm the tfipUerial lencks.)' " At least, what I underwood ab.out it." This like the distant bugle -, note, Ironical laughter from Oppotltiori.) * ' - He was by turns sarcastic (when he spoke of the white man who sympathised with the Maori) hot, cool, impassioned, and argumentative. He was never at a loss for word or simile, and he slopped his white brethen with

cruel slops; making sly. fun : of tliem lo their faces tlie whilo' his lustrous eyes glistened with enjoyment of the situation; . He told a story about an Irish landowner, so apropos that even the Scotch metiers saw the point, and roared uncouth laughter, But alas I civilization and Downie Stewart have done their baleful work; we see no ■more tlil-untamed graceful gestures the .Maori race was so cele- , bi;ate.i. ; . .E-ven the gayage thrusts his hafitds deep into' liis" pockets," andgropes .therein for the threepenny bit oitheejefe pale face.. • -

"Blessed art thou Oh I lord our God who hath not maderne a woman." So prayeth the devout and urigallant Jew ; yet Sir Julius Vogel, a gentleman of this ancient and honorable persuasion, is now posng as despised womans' champion, and proposes, by giving'her a vote, to remove the last remaining vestige of mans' superiority and therefore to render the 'foregone prayer absurd and unnecessary, iWe had a great field day on tho subject of woman's sufferage last Thursday, and to listen to Sir Julius, one might have supposed the only grievance ho had against his maker was that he had not been made a woman. The casual observer might not perhaps, deem our Colonial Treasurer to bo a. child of sentiment,'poesy, and imagination. The casual observer would be wrong. Sir Julius is chokeful of the tendorost sympathy, and romance, and he has but, so to speak, to turn on the tap, and he can, at a moments notice, inundato any subject—from railways to womans' sufferage—with a Whito Nile of romance, pathos, and sentimentality. The tap wns full 'on last Thursday.

A number of lion, uiombers supported tho Bill—ostonsibly. The gallery was full of ladies, and the members dared not do anything else. But, in the sacred retirement of Bellamys, aud when pledging one anothoi' over tho cup that both cheers and inebriates, anathemas were freely hurled at the measure and the naughtiest of "cuss words" employed. It was amusing, though a little pitiable, to see the Don Juanistic airs which some of the sprightly old gentlemen assumed during the debate, and how they managed to rake the ladies with one eye while keeping the 'oilier upon tho Speaker. One ancient Ajoiiis deolared in effect, and with a lady-killing expression that his" only books" had been "womans' looks" which- jvas possibly a correct statement, of facts, as he did .not seem to know, much about any other books. Another fat Lothario declared, with, a simperof ineffable conceit " that he had made womau his. especial study,"' but shiverod as a .cold, rasping, cough was hoard from tho direction of the feminine gallery, and sat down bathed in pojifusionj blushing up to his foolish ears,'

Tho ladies—God. bless- 'em—are already discounting the advantages they will obtain should the new Bill becomo law. Our streets novor previously saw so many wH4rem<l ' senatoresses, and I am credibly informed that our'jewellers find the salo of articles of female " bigotry" and virtue" quite brisk. It is said that a certain representative, hitherto more remarkable for tho liberality 'Of his political than of his domestic economy was lately asked by his holpmoet to purchase for hev a peculiarly lovely, and particularly oxpensivc mantlo wliioli lyas displayed in a certain shop window. Hp declined, with \yarmth, urging his increased oxpenses, thp probabk (?) per pent" reduction in his honorarium, and. his doubtful re-election in case of an early appeal to tho country. Tho lady heard him' to tho end with calmness, and then in tones, soft as the cooiug of the wild wood dove, murmured, " You need be in no doubt about your re-election, love, I will put that past doubt-. I shall vote against you, and persuade all.my lady friends and their husbands to do the same 1"

Next day a senatomss, a haughty air, and that lovely silk mantle, cut bias, and jewelled in ten holes, swept down Lambton Quay in company.

The following (or something resembling it), once appeared on a tombstone;

" We can hardly ever have those things tha please us; . Little Jqhppy's dead, and gone to Jesus "

Soino Philosophpr added—- " In these matters we can -hardly ever tell. Little Johnny may have gone to—:?heol."

I was reminded of the foregone, and of the terrible uncertainty of all mere mundane speculation of the ultimate destinato of things, by discovering on Tuesday that tho Representation Bill, •whose demise and ascent to bliss I chronicled in my last im still alive, and, if not oxactly kicking, was being lucked. From about .8,80 p.m., until the 5.80 adjournment, and again from 7.80 p.m. to 1 a.m., the battle raged around the helpless Bill. Precisely what the commotion was all about no man knoweth savo tkoso marvellous, patient,' and experienced reporters, who, with an intuition almost divine, skilfully snatch from tons of senatorial spoken slush, grains of common sense which they garb in correct English, But that memorable fight of Tuesday deserves recording in heroic measure, and I am no poot-certainly I can steal. Time, 8.80 p.m;, order of day Representation Bills— Now on ejiQh eiite % leaders "Qive signal f.p'r the and on each .side the Dibbers yawn ip tlie lijlit of day,' " * ' . ' False Seddon f-ot up foremost, His look was high and bold; His Cuticle T)f bullbpk's hide Bound with Kyjaara gold. Unfortunately I find the poem from which I have stolen does not pan out well, so I will return to prose.. The "false Sextus" of Macaulay's verse turned tail and fled at sight of Herminius,. but "false Seddon " pranoed arouhif belligerent all the s%rnoon arid nigijt, and %. only. Hepninius he encountered was the Hon, .Hatch of Invercargili, and then the person who " turned and fled away certainly was not the warlike Seddon. Tho lion, member , for Invercargili was all in favor of reduction in the

number of representatives, but the member for Kumara was not. Ml! Hatch made a little speech to the House, and then. Mr. Seddon made a little speech to' Mr Hatch, who, metaphorically swinging his hatchet, desired Mr Seddon not to look at him, but.'to look, at. the chair. Mr Seddon,'mtli.'an engaging-^ and suave smile, opined' lie " might • be allowed the pleasm of looking' at the lion, 'gentleman,", but on . being. caM to order, turned to. ths Speaker, and said; f Then.' Sir, : I will lo$;. steadfastly at you, and I'm sure you ' ; are quite as good to look at as the Hon. toember .foir- Invercargill." !

Space, or want of .it, forbids me to. enlarge. To Mr Seddon belong the honors of the fray. He was thc central figure, throughout, and Kumara on Tuesday night over-rode the rost of New Zealand.' He stuck out for 91 members, aiid had his way. The gold-fields: are to be congratulated - upon such a aturdy lighter, so fluent and ready a speaker, aud so generally good-tempered a povsou as Mv Seddon. His strident, voice dominates the House, and the worst that can be said of tho membei' for Kumara and . lus voice on Tuesday is that, Sootli'd by the sound, Seddon pw vain; Fought all his battles o'cv again, ... And thrice ho. routed all his foes, and thrice lie slew the slain. :