Our Wellington Watchman.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2572, 14 April 1887, Page 2

Our Wellington Watchman.

Wellington, April 13, , That must have-been a profoundly touching scene, tho meeting and reconciliation at Auckland the other day of our two most- famous K.C.M.G., or, as it has been.translatedy" Knights of WCold-water'Mug and Gripes." It will become historfcal-'that* gathering' by fair Waitemata.- Artists as"'yet far' down-.u»on-the roll' of futurity, .will, limri'.it'; 'poetrwilling'it; Macaulay's" New Zealander fishing for acclimatized ■Karotaff London BridgHill thrill jaj. the memory of it. They'parted';! these' knights three oiifour years ago, and in anger. Sir William Pox had spoken disrespectfully, of Mra.Besant, the high priestess of Sir Robert' Stout's cult, and there was coolness and mutual fury, eventuating in wild whopping newspaper -correspondence,. between them. Indeed tho6o two great creatures had and hayo.uo bond-in common ■Save one—cold-water. But their admiration for that (as a leverage .-for other people) has soothed'.their savage' • souls, arid now they have sworn friendship over a- pump-handle,,and the ..abstinent agnostic lion lieth down with the evangelical lamb, or rather the Teetotal Fox. Tho occasion.; of this interment of the hatchet : w;asa deputa•tion.of teetotallers who' waited : upon, the Premier for no particular reasoni except that teetotal deputations are onej I \ofithe.r,puhiflliliieiits Consequent upon,originalsiH.,,:Ican : seein : fancy the ruefur Sir Robert, bowered inroses land"garden-stuff, (there,tooproses/ the report/toys so)', ,: and'' that''serious' squad tricked in sobriety, clean" bilcd rags," and blue ribbons—a variety of sacrificial large lambs—led on by the agile shepherd, Sir William, while the "henergeticand hanecdotal"Mr Glover acting as sheep dog, rounded up the letter H whenever ho discovered -it straying. I pan picture the two leading heroes rushing into one anothers arais, and Sir Robert's helmot (which, faithful asMrsMacawber, never desertshim)-' suffering new and serious adngers in the fray. I see (in tho mind's eye, Horatio) the local heavy patient of abstinence lifting his hands in benediction and ejaculating with solemnity tempered by the' perfume of peppermints: " Bless yer me childerhen," • while the rest of the deputation frisk, .lia-a, and ruminate 'midst the vegetables/composing tho decorations.. And, when the deputation witklvaws, methinks I hear the occasional abstainer of the party whisper, "We don't see a: Premier every "day. I'll shoiit/cbmeonboys!" ' _ Sir William remains, audit-is.-pos-sible the following conversation ensues;'— •' :

_ Sir Rokn.: '" May I ask Sir William, whether y.ou.find.tdtalabstinence beneficial in your own case ?" .

Sir William: " Well -er - no! The spirit is.- er.-.- willing, kit the flesh iser/- weak. ■ I obey' the short beautiful dictum-of Saint Paul: 'A little wine for thy.-. er -.stomach's sake.'" ■ ■ '"

Sir R: "Oh.! ak ( . yes-.precisely so',"' "' ■ Sir W; "Do you totally abstain yourself, ■dear Sir Bobert?"

i_ Sir R: "Haw! no -.not..rigidly,..l limVtolal abstinence induces cereb'ropathy.. I take .a modicum of - haw - a Gaellic" preparation called, I have reason to believe - haw -' Dew. off Ben Nevis,' As Herbert' Spencerio" logically observes:- ''He that imbibeth strenuous fluids reposeth in a state of softness with ripeness, existeth in harmony with the Universe, and finally departeth this sublunary sphere with jocundity.'"

Sir IP; (slightly fogged) "Oh! - or - ah, yes. • My own case to a nicety, Good day, dear Sir day." Sir U: " Good bye." Sir W: (retiring aside) "What a humbug it is with his Herbert Spencer and jocundity: but. the Government will be .bound now. to do something for my Grand Temperance Alliance," Sir U: (Jiis otw, styathed to the elbows in His cavernous peckts, and the faithful helmet hard a' starboard) " What a charlatan ..with his .St 'Paul and. his'stomach's' sake; however, that clinches the Temperance, vote and interest I think" ' : . -■■'••

. There is nothing very thrilling to report regarding local political matters, As your readers know there are three starters (all aged) for the Te Aro Cup, or vacant Parliamentary seat—Messrs Nancarrow, Eraser, and Travel's. The' first of these is an estimable old'gentleman, who knows rather less about politics than a cow about Chocktaw. I do not know what cruel humorist induced • him: to stand, I fear an enemy has done this:.thiug,.■. Perhaps, however,'as a large number..of voters regard-the whole' subject of New Zealand representation as : ahugo farco, the joker reconciled the. matter to *his conscience'By'saying: "Oh give poor old Joe.Nancarrow a-shoW',; lip Will do no move harm tfiair others."'At 'any rate" poor old Joe" has had his show and a very fine show he'made of it. He p.oses. .as ■ a- 'Orny ,'ancl'c? one, thoughthe hardest work he has : ever-been.-guilty of for some time is.dr-awing-. a pension. He is an authority on boilers, or" bilers" as ho prefers to call them. His address lacked everything- but incoherence and fatuous flatulency. As lie'is utterly unfit •to represent anything but "bilers," he may : very possiblybe returned.' .

Mr Fraser, the bookseller, and prominent agitator, is a candidate' of totally 'different complexion, being possessed' of much sturdy 'Scottish common sense and independence, and. a certain amount of ability. He is chokeful .of the material Johnson declared hades was paved with—good: intentions.. That- Mr Fraser"is a strong, far-sighted, and well educated politician, I dp- not believe; that "ho is far better than the average company he will meet-in the House, if elected, is certain. ■ *.; ' ■

The last of the tridJMr Travers, is a fair lawyer, 1 who has never particularly distinguished himself politicially, and'' who is not likely to set any rivers on fire this side of the sweet bye and bye. IMmow.nothhig in his favor and noth-

' ing against him, except his trade. He is doubtlesßJltlie Government nominee, and will' show his patriotism by assisting Sir Boberfc Stout to burke the Law Practitioners Bill and law reform generally.- Mr Travers is evidently a blue-blooded person of vast condescension. He said, when nominated, that whenever he met a' man he knew, let him be rich or. poor,. so long as he vm 'alwAyg : siipolj hands withlnm, ■'Brntymi*' .only.qualifea'tion for Mr Travers. "I fear', he shakes but few hands,. *xcep,V of course, his.own, Lawaij, withsub•lime patient;tHfday when there-Will be nothing/but lawyers in the Himse, .anil when, 'as a natural sequence^they, .wjll repeat, amongst ••themselves-' 'jfche-, episode .of the;. Kilkenny cits. . ; Evennow in our large cities it would' be impossible to stand in any thoroughfare and swing a-cat. (that is, alongish cat) by the tail mthoiifc" hjitbirig some variety of legal practitioner— I will not say The worst aspect of the matter is that settlers and.traders who have made their living by honest industry refuse to bring up'their,s.ons to similar reputable and'useful suits. No. they must'perforce'bo lawyers and "genteol.".'.,; Sheol is just full'of such scorched gentility,' and we are the most law-cursed people '.Undo* the; fair'light -of'heaven, and' will so remain until a truer civilization teaches us that .it is a mean trade that grows fat on.the "hopes, fears, ••weaknesses and wickednesses-of our fellows. I expect Mr Travers will get in. for Te Ar0.;,.-TJiO ; father of; all lawyers-guards his own;- '' :

Mr. George Fisher's faddresa.tb. 'the'voters of Newtown has 1 created a favorable impression in Wellington, and is perhaps the ablest pre-sessional utter'-' ance heard this season, notwitlistaiid." ing Mr. Fisher, favors the Ifiiperfil Federation fad, and does not think the Governor's salary—as it certainly is for a poor country—absurdly high. If Mr Fisher will but go steadily'on his course, heedless of the occasional red herrings trailed across the scent,; and .silently disdainful of the stings of mosquitos, the country will have in him a useful and energetic public man. The worst of. Mr Fisher is, he is always eager for a free light, and the opponents he chooses are sometimes not worth powder and shot.

tijn-opos of the reduction of our next Governor's salary and the. number of our representatives, a new argument 1b coming'into fashion, viz.,' "What will they say in England?" This is one of the results of the delirious drivel lately' drivelled concerning Imperial Federation. In the first place, it does, not matter, to us a tinker ,s cursory observation what they say in England; and in the next,.the' vast majority of Englishmen, do not care.a tinker's ditto what we pay-our Governor, or whether wepy Mm at all.' At the same time; a goodly number of Englishmen have an. interest that we should : pay.oiir just debts.. But .a certain school of four 'political ecorio-' mists oppose every, necessary ■ and: honest proposal-, for- retrenchment,' because it may. make creditors .chary! of furfelending.- It is precisely the : fraudulentbankrupt's plea and' device.

Jubilee gush has broken out beret Our" superior"' .person's : have met fa.! decide in what manner our oontribu-' tions- shall be utilized. Thoy are to be laid on the altar of..the Imperial Institute. - "Of course I'thjs' is ; 'a free'country, ,and ; .those who pine to send moro: money to England 1 (where bythft. way, most of Now' Zealand's coin already is) have a'perfect right to send—their ■ own. Jo' public house in London (for that is all the Institute will be), will get a .penny out of me so long as Wellington—the Empire City, the most important city in the colony—is without a fre'epublio library and reading ropm. Hardly a town in New Zealand bul has. some Bort of a free library, Masferton, with a population of 3,160 has. 2000 volumes, Wellington, with a population of 26,000 has not;one book that '■can be read without paying for the privilege-but we have plenty of'public houses. No, charity begins at home. When we have a free public library I mil see whether I have a spare colonial Robert wherewith to mark my appreciate of the fact that Her.. Graoibus Majesty has drawn her. (comfortable) salary with regularity for the last 'fifty years. There will be a good many of this, way of thinking.