Our Wellington Watchman.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2567, 7 April 1887, Page 2

Our Wellington Watchman.

Mr Thomas, Campbell,, in' that rather lugubrious poenvof:his, ) » The Pleasures of Hope," sang : "The world was sad, the garden was a. wild; r '■.'■'■ And man, the'hermit, sighed till woman 'smiled."

Nad the tuneful Campbell survived to this date, and had he resided in New Zealand, he might have added ;.-.

But; now the hermits' mad, orclso.js doting';. ■ ~'■;■■.,'.':•.'■ .■■ ■■? ' ' The \mnvm wear's his breeches—does, his .; voting; ■'"""

' Yes,, tromble yo .masculiho tyrants 1 New. Zealand women are to have a vote-the female woman I mean, for old ladies .of the other sex have long o.njoyed the' privilege.'' A Bill to ■enfranchise the ladies is to bo brought in by Messrs Vogel. and Ballauco. I can understand Mr IMance, a son of that green isle, ever noted for gallantry, standing up for woman's right, but how about Sir Julius Vogel \ Shades of the old Hebrew lawgivers! what think ye of your degenerate descendant.who now declares " soulless woman " -the equal of maul As this, enfranchisement of our sisters and our cousins, and our aunts is not to be a government measure, as Sir Robert Stout's name is not mentioned in: connection' with it, and as Sir Robert, as is well known, regards woman as considerably the "lesser man,"J presume he takes no hand in freeing'the female, slave, probr ably considering the poor creature's "political education "in so deplorable a condition that it is unsafe to trust her with such a loaded blunderbuss as a vote, However this may be, the Bjll is to be introduced, and we may soon ,

hope tO'See'-tha other lord of creation lo the polling place, her l.i|by;.crouh«t,and husband in one band, arid R.heat little siiillaleh, wherewith to Ijiudi political antagonists, in the other. More/'power to her I As for mo, lam hei'.-hijmhlfl servant, and bfilieye," cp?i amore, in. the perfect equality'of theBexes, yet I fear the advent of our better halves upon the political arena may be'attended, with some injustice,.' It will, for instance,' bo hard;'upon •ugly -candidales • for'-senttrtdrial 'lioji ws,' The. youthful and impressionable she' voter will to a dead''certainty. !plurap .for. the elfegant-jnalo. with, jhej, best waxed moustache, and we poor unfortu•nftteg, who have nought bat.our-gehius, and'u.burning desire to serve our country, (or make it serve us) to recommend us, will be left shivering. in the cold draughts of. political neglect Those curled but autocratic, darlings, tho bank-clorks, or those golden hobbledehoys', tho ornate youth whose,butterfly existence is passed in sponging upon papa and playing lawntennis, will naturally, when women vole, go into the House should they desire to "hands down" while.we.the gifted ones—middle-aged, tropic-nosed, buniony, and bandy—will be rauk outsiders. Yes, tbedarling creatures will,' I fear vote for men rather .than measures, and tho coimusj saviour of thecpiiutry will-have to study more' severely the cut of his pantaloons than of his - political • eb.olio.n4y; ■ Certainly some of-our New Zealand 'Pitts'would bear better dressing-; onebr jwo of our most; eminent statesman : wear slibckingly bad and baggy, ;o-no-we-'iiever-mention-ems, and one historical helmet worn (there iaa legend that he : sleeps in it) by a very leading: politician, has braved so many battles and -breezes, that it will be pleasant to hear that it has at last been relegated to its congenial dustbin.

And if women'may vote .then also may they sit in Parliament, Certain I am, that if there they would twaddle a great deal less than some of the excellent old male spinsters already there; and if there be instituted a species of infant Bellamy's whore the babies 'of bur-lady representative- could be supplied with the exhilarating pap andJho isoj'hmg bottlo while.. their mammas'- orated, everything would go gaily, ; - Ave! reclames, .the female politicians, I respectfully saluto vou in advance;- I; salute you" as vomers;'• I kiss your hands as Ministresses of Justice, _ as . Colonial Treasuresses, as Premiers; I kiss you

"No youdontl Pretty language Indeed for a married man, Sir!" 'Tia the voice'of our domestic Premier she has overlooked the pago. Let uo change the subject.

Oh! The black ingratitude of. those Irish! The good Tories of EnglandGod bless ye'nicrrie gentlemen—have just brought up another Coeiciou Act (making: about the fiftieth in the 'last fifty years-one for, overy year of Victoria's reign), A' beautiful ;Aot; and still these Irish are not happy! For the last.hundred years or so, they have, experienced tome of-the most famous famines on record; they have been evicted, their houses burnt; they have been imprisoned, flogged, hunted;transported, shot, and banged; evcrvthiug, in short, that beneficent Governuientsicould do to amuse. and excite them ha3been ; tried, and even now they'do not love England's.govornment of Ireland, Wliatmore:«wt they want? They cry for land, without which they declare they cannot live. . But should the Irish be 'permitted to' live at all, considering the annoyance they are to the English, who, as we all know, are the only people authorised by Heaven' to exist? And why can these Irish want to mess about with a lot of filthy soil, dirtying their hands and clothes? Why cannot every Irishman make himself a lawyer or a politician JNice clean professions which enable a man to keep his coat on, and his hands and soul pure as unsullied snow, These Irish, with their land cry, are as illbred as those French revolutionists who called out for bread when' thev might just as well have eaten buns. Depend upon it, diet is at the bottom of this Irish question. The Irish, as every chawbacon in English shires will toll you, positively refuse to eat anything but potatoes. Sometimes they are too obstinate to cat those, and die of starvation. Now the potato is a heating, inflammatory, mutiny-dispos-ing piece of fruit, and it makes theso Irish proud, stiff-necked and rebellious. "Let England, therefore, pass another Coercion Act, making it puuishable with death for Irishmen to eatpotatoes, and compelling them by police' supervision to a 'diet of roast beef, venison, plum pudding, and Charlotte nwse,~and I engage, in six-months, every -Irishman would bo quiet—and buried. ■Many sillier and few simpler schemes for Ireland's pacification have been proposed. There is another method. I claim no originality for it, because many quite pious people have frequently suggested it, viz,, to. cart all Catholic Ireland and Irishmen out into the. Atlantio, and sink it and them ten- ; thousand fathoms dp.ep;

There remains yet'another course by which peace might be brought to eadeyed Erin; but there is 100 much common-sense and justice in it to recommend it to the Conservative mind. ' I mean by giving Ireland that moderate degree of independence she asks—and sooner or.later will have, despite tho; unholy subterfuges of Tories, and craven-hearted Liberals of the Harrington _and Chamberlain school ..Every true Englishman must. blush bread of the evictions and burnings now being perpetrated in the name and in the interest of landlords, in Ireland, This 1 proposed Co-ercion Act --hellish in.its debased ingenuity—is another proof that' Those whom the Gods would destroy they first tnako mud," "JiTo Government ever more arduously courted catastrophe than-the present Conservative Government of England. On every side are heard the m.utterings Qipoyeity and misery; Socialists and unemployed in England J dispossessed Crofters in .Scotland; starving men driven frantic % despair in. Ireland and'still these brainless, beeteating beer-swilling, bible-canting Tories can think of nothing but tb,o bad, brutal, &nd btupid old systems of coercion and

repression," .'hastening'. thereby the inevitable coming .war of classes, and imperilling that" England's Greatness," of which they, perpetually mouth', but by which they, only • mean their own especial interests and privileges.

- Our parliamentary racers,...present and prospective, have commenced their preliminary, galops for 1887. Dr /Newman, .member for Thorndon, our*, vetted before ■Bomo"'. , B'ixty p'orson's on Thursday ,la'al ;•: M.£Eisher pranced op. Tu.e.sd«y';. and MeSsi;s?raser and Nan-' carrow,candidates'-for: the vacant Te I. Aro_a_eat,;have each done a little canter. ■Old Mrlanca'iip'con)id'erVSir Julius Yogel' "a great man-greater .even thanßpacorisfield, and so in point.of weight no doubt'he'is; by-several stone.' With this exception, the aggregate of political wisdom thus fur enyolved has net been stupendous. Dr. Newman, who is principally remarkable for a comprehensive unoriginality, made,;.;, bower, oneratber startling 'assertion. Speaking of the proposed reduction of representatives, he "thought a very small house would be more open to jobbery, as each man's price- would be easier to got at" ' Dr. -Newman believes, therefore, there, is less danger in a large parcel of roguery than.in a small one. This is ■hrily;logical; but as the Doctor is in the House, ho ought to know.'': By the wayyifeoci-man -ks his price, I wonder what Dr Newman's price tnay be I- ;;''

The 'lßth Annual Report' on tho, State schools in the' Wellington bistricthnsbeeii.published, and is, ou the whole, satisfactory. The report itself is a really admirable performance, and some of■tbe.-qtferuH propounded therein by the Inspector will recommend themselves to the understanding of mauy teachers, and to the sonsa of justice of not a few p U rents. "If prizes must be given,'! writes the Inspector, "could not rewards be given to all the children, who well deserve one! Cannot tli© '-heart-burnings and the violation of the sense of justice .of many children be spared! Could not the gentle and industrious, but dull pupil.be recognised 1 shall all the good things go' to the intellectual Philistines of a schoojl"

How many good but slow children ■who act rather the part of the patient plodding tortoise than that of the haijty. hare have been soured for life for want of kindly recognition when at' school. Teachers—it is but human, must prefer those bright aud showy scholars who bring them glory and renown, but. after all the race is not always - to the swift, and bow many of these brilliant youthful gehiuaes are never heard of in the world's battlo, but early drop out of the ranks "weary with the march of life," while the "dull," plodding children generally blossom, into the painstaking people who make history. Let anyone of middle r age ask hiiimell what has become of all tho "cleverchildren";that went to his' oilier school,,aud reflect how few of these, have made a name. Education ia a'ot or should-not be: meant to.develope yonthful prodigies, but to' train up good citizens, and the, slow; euro ones will be kiriderhfarted men and more loveable women, if thoir.good qualities receive kind .andgracious notice at Behoof Thodanger of our system, if injudiciously administered, is that it maymaks pedaritio prigs/not whole 60uled men and women, but while we have an-'inspector who writes such kindly and gorg"rm3 common sense as that to which I have referred, there, is little danger.