OUR WELLINGTON WATCHMAN.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2557, 25 March 1887, Page 2

OUR WELLINGTON WATCHMAN.

To tlueyos of-Sir Robert Stout's disciples ~a few .still exiut—Sir Roberto moat adorable quality it the avidity; with which he snatches the martyr's halo.l, do not mean .religious martyrdom, because sooiety has ceased to exhibit heretics ih unbacoraing'gariuen.ts ancliead them forth to make: 8 summer's day, alutodejt, and obqriahes npmore thumbscrew or boot. But are there no martyrdoms' other than mere physical-rackiDgs and grillings I What of those keen mental agonies to which your superior sort pf,pp!itioiati is .so susceptible| "W pat of the -torture of loathing certain-political notions, and yet performing those identical actions a'nd no others, How about the exquisite purgatory ot being unequally yoked with a. political disbeliever I What of the excruciating misery of despising certain vile insignia and yot perforce wearing them ; the torment experienced by those chokeful of ull the noblest and newest doctrines of liberty, fraternity, equality and the rest, condemned 'to toil along in th.' old ruts of rankest Conservatism t Each and all of thcso crowns of thorn* has Sir Robert-as his believers think —fitted to his brow at one time or another, though so uniquely self contained is their prophet, he has never yet shown sign of the mortal agonies he endures, Sir Robert, the only person in possession of the tenets of "True Democracy," the reddest of all red Radicals, a perfect tmii culottem the topic of " Liberty," is politicly mated to one who derides tho demos, laughs at " Liberty," and rails at every species of . unbreeched "Radical fad"! Sir Robert, whosej soul sickens at titles, yet wears his little ticket (" dog collar" his erstwhile Freethought friends call it) as .if to the manner born, and finally Sir Robert Stout,-the original patentee of. "Land, Nationalization," whose patriot heart weeps "blood if hut one square inch of his country he sold, has alienated millions, of acres thereof. These are his daily tribulations, these the unboiled peas in -hii boots as he ;treadß the political via dolorosa, and yet—noble Spartan that he is l—be continues to smile and smile even while

the foi of .discontent gnaws at his vitals beneath bin collar of St Michael and St. George. And now Sir Robert Marton effort has Jed some of his", gentle jntbusaiato to : believe: he intends to" make, believe" no more; tbat he is determiaqd-' no Jonger to bow in the House of Rimmon ; thfe,t $ laet'he-wiJI give the gory : republicanism within biro his head, and shout to the attentive spheres," Down with every. tiling! down with everybody.!—etce'pV me I""■ But; bless yop/Ve, who know our Robert knowbetethan this.. We

■ quite comprehend these'dorruscations of a too brilliant faiioy, . WeTecognize' that these little orations ; 6n "True Deindcracy," those charming,' ,; if mini* ture eßsaya on " Land Nationalization.' are but the safety valve which relieve, him of a mild Variety of radical rash—in no way dangerous—rwhich affects him. at this period of the. political year, If he.did not tal|c;liberalism the virus might accumulate,, but. &n occasional day on tbo stump enables' him not only to throw off the vicious tkretions by innocuous ■ties,*Mt'tp;bfin<i his folto.wemtatbe fact that while his with radicalism, his performances''are 'continually antl.cotuiisteqtiy, conserVntiv?.; Land Nationalization is: the cry. with' which' Sir Robert will, in 1888, tush

Into .^Opposition.' ; .This/is* ihjel f , MarJyon,speech means. , and:iiothing more. ■.'.•"',-.■ ji^K' ' Our Governor recently gave" at a. Mayoral banquet in Dunedin the most orushingly lucent exposition of the cause of the'existing depression. He bad of ten.been is alleged to have said- 1 what causes the depression? Hia,idea was that aa we lived in an age' when 'railway's;' siiamers, afad electric vef>.' largely . used :in<th« Rflftirs>' gbt intbin apitfirMii rate m.i.cdmmfl'N ml affairs; aWfit mWjiMk. sion was l when yon,. hnwtt; M&M^^^ V ° '*' ever; of the excruciatingly explanations sometimes tentyieahy th« philantbi'ophists whose, istock-in-trade is a thimble and a pea.' -<* First you see it, and then you dotit see it, and that's how its done." -A Governor who has weird, wisdom, a, cryptui'depth of research jika.this is cheap,at £IO,OOO a yearl.'..?!'.;am; not :.quiteH«lear what "gbpormal" ae the.'Governor uscdthi word, means—as he was banquetting, something'to "eat : or drink possibly, In any case.it.is. to..bp;l)pped that New Zealanders will n'owshutt ewiy-abnor' malthey abnormal follyjfil£i(3,p i-Govejhpr who pertistohtiy"twaddles. ,! " One of the events of the veek with us wag St Patrick'* Day?-' Our Hibernian brethren .bra anniversary of the saints, and .", With ernimintß and banners, ~, • :, .JCs^eobmoßgihtftiQ'fppd'tif^neA, 1 " he,d hig|est.jinkßin.th^Jßaßin : |e.Berve; there were foot raceß (a capital mile race) jumping, aud other diversions; the pleasantest of thenv being perhaps, the happy faces: of : thft : children, and thogay good humor of all. No word have I to say. against St. Patrick's, St. George's, or St Andrew's days, or those ' ■who. choose to make festival thereon. But it seems somewhat inappropriate to close 19th century bank's, .and to interrupt business ; generally : -. simply beeause St. Patrick happened to arrive in the Irish Sea some 144. r )'years ago, or because,'a gentleman .qf.tJM.name of George had ;.'& I Labyrinlhodon't of Itchiosauras'in.'the pre-adaraite er% or because Another gentleman, whose front name wag Andrew, but whose hind name is smothered in the fogs,' of .strangled 18 or' 19 centuries;back?-1 ;humbly submit, the whole matter of holidays in this country^.reqijirea.revision. As. immigration' inoreas'es'we shall strike more;saints days-German, French, Swedish, Spanish, .Lapland, Chinese, and Choctaw, .saint's 'days, and we will eventually..;have t.wo a week, Fewer bnfclbngei: 'holidayis-if that be not a- contratliotio&i-isJiQuld. be the motto.-:..:. ..'■ ; :<,.. ..:

I was privileged to inspect-the New Zealand Artillery, numbering sbftib. sixty rank and file/ th'e ; dther d«y v and>a strapping lot of ypmig fellows tnejjr certainly aro; notbeautiful perhaps or dißtresaingly grajceful,./but looking' as iif they|sami!ated with the diet ; of the. ■. : Their uniform ia a fair imitationipfi;ihe R.A.,uniforra ; in the I jaw only ow» maa under 5 feet 9 inches. A deserving' infant who took the right of the line towered bead land' shoulders over.; th» next taliest^:pi'an,Jand'.hw* mutton, pia -forage cap ,was' ag 'cbrißpicuopf ag. the pale gonfalort.of .Henry- ; bf Navarre. He will msiite 'a servioeabje tower Bhould.;:t))e down the: existing one V■■■, ThVmen "all Beemed fairly well disciplined' and drilled, and I should think were more

useful .than .ornamental. •' .To tbeeje accustomed'-to imperial troops there was a lack of polish, but'sonie of the burqiflbed aud chrome yelJowcrf. soldiers in barracksirejhe first to go to pieces in the 1 soviet, us''trust the New Zealand" Artillery wijl justify the money we./spend them. For my part I doubt it, because I httVH not tke slightest faith in.our. defence works. If the Kiihsiana evor

come it-will be at some point, of which there ere many, whero ■ defence works <|o not exist, In any case'it might'be »8 ffull if Field Marshall' Sir Whitmqreand the .other gimeraisi'abd brigadiers squared up their little ijjJoV

nal dissensions Wore the : .outside enemy arrives. If. Mm war-worn heroes pitch into Hie Russians with one tithe of the energy with which they quarrel with on« another all will be well. .. . ,-\".'■/■.•,>. "' : _ Wellinsjton .rejoices at the present'; time in two cheap shows that'of a; double-distilled cheapman or. "cheap-< jack," and that of the l<ev ' Dowie, "faith healer." The first'of these nightly diverts some two thousand, of our citizen!* on an open; space 1 on • Willis Street, holding forth v froWihia '"' : wagon, whjcli, itisjde aqd put, is a magnificent temple pf delight, as replen'dent" as plate glass, giiilding unci' red paiat with ailvered lampa and gas. jets can. U make it. Bui the most gorgeous eigbt ,! of all is old Belphogpt-..hiniß6lf r with . curled; oiled and carefully parted raven • tresses, av! sup.efb% : white '' waist-'

1 coat adorning ,ffi r> fine. sphericity-oC '• stomach, larger than th«k. | Kgh;i:noovj a !?prness. of 'roses in his ':;buttoV;.hjp||| and ; : otherwise ■ amngediii-the;in6st exquisite polite. ■ ness and soft sawder.;.'•. When, ;; B young ■ man (I trust it was all true)"brought, him the other- night a waijjh'ho had bought of him four in; Kidderminster, %W,-, : jfMch watch had'"neither lost nor gajhed (cayeleta' apparently of longibdinai differences • of time) aod. ha 4 =' . the whblefour ym&J'M gifted sbow-v nun rested his elbow on -;his;.rastrum, < , p_ut Ms head-in bia hand and there, in eight of si) thpaepojple,. was [s' visibly :affect«rf as wag-Sir &W.SJ£uhvhe? ■,■ ■■'■' ,r«ceiving'ihigXClM'G:y itiwa« vew' •'■ touching. ReV; J/ ; A. \' .Dowifl'untiljmriie^fe^:' ; v- •': : v l V