ROUND THE WORLD.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2185, 4 January 1886, Page 2

ROUND THE WORLD.

He had been to Paris, and he spoke the language like a native, of course;, but when he called a parasol 'a shade-over,' nobody know-ho had been punning until ho explained that he meant a chfd'omo. Mammie—'Why, Sadie, you have let your hair grow dark again. Last time I saw you it was a lovely blonde.' Sadie—- ' Yes, dear; but you know I am in mourning now for poor, dear papa. I am not wearing light shades at all.' The man who keeps his mouth shut never has to eat any crow. Tho size of a man has nothing to do with the size of a lie he can tell. 1 How shall we obtain our heat in the future Tasks an exchange. The writer must be a student of the revised edition,

One swallow doesn't make Spring, but one cold day will make a seaside resort so sick that doctor's medicine is of no avail,

Tho shark is worshipped on the African coast, probably as the thing most feared by tho natives. The American people are different; they worship what they most love—the almighty dollar. Love is blind, but matrimony is a great oculist: Every celebrated pianist makes his own forte tune. A dross does not make a woman, but often breaks a man. A prominent Methodist clergyman tells the following story of an old Baptist minister who always contrived to lug baptism into his sermons, whatever his text might be. The. old gentleman was asked oiio day if he could possibly preach a sermon rithout alludimr to his favorite doctrine. He said he "could, and would, if they would give him a text baptism in it, The first chapter of Ezra, ninth verse, was selected, which read as follows .-—"And thia is the number of them: thirty chargers of gold, a thousand of silver, nine and twenty knives,He entered the pulpit, read his text, and Baid: "My Brethren, I don't see what they ( \vanted;of unlessi-it wail ictf in ojderto baptise 1 ' tHe poople;":' i!;r • : ' If you think-you don't amount to much in this world,'borrow five dollars on your household goods,;and see what interest the nian who holda th? mortgage will tako in you.

' There are between . 300,000, and -,- 400,000 cyclists in England,' The 'ancient' ; . city of Coventry is the chief seat for 7 cycle-making industry. , The Tichborne claimant's wife, -Mwl. Arthur: Ortoh, is dead.; Sir" Soger jg;'living quietly at Sheerness, preparing story of his life. ; ' ; . No country that is .good enough for' an idle and worthless man has yet been discovered in the geography of this world," —Minister Phelps, v A/literary, man, who was asked ito furnish a .Shakesperian motto to bo framed and hung up over a restaurant, suggested the words—"As you like it?'Dr Caruana, the director of the ' publig-i library in Malta, has made an importfliil.J I discovery. He has found a Phoenicia#!, i inscription of four or five '' engraved on one'of the hugostoneß which form the ancient temple in the island of ,'A Gozo, now called the Giants' Tower. It ' is the first time that Phoenician letters 1 have boon found associated with these I megalithic structures. ' • The wicked curate bids, fair to supersede the wicked baronet (is a stock charcter of modern fiction. Scarcely a week passes without some sinister paragraph couched 1 in mysterious terms hinting that an Anglican parson of inferior degree has been guilty of crimes which. Would make the fortune of a writer of" a . melodiamatic romance* .to sas nothing of an .evening- newspaper. B matters go on at this rate,' - everyone will be looking for the physical traits, assjSkw ated" with .Mopliistopheles ; beneathfljgp sombre habiliment > of the eccfesiaim' with the low-crowned felt hat and m# well-polished suit of broadcloth.—'World. * The recent sudden death ot the Right Rev. James Frase'r, Bishopof Manchester; was wholly due to overwork. About a month ago he was or'dered.by his physic--ian to take absolute reßt. President Elliot recently said' to the k Freshmepof Harvard College: " The r proper attitude for young men toward ' religion is one of respect. If you cannot sympathize, at least bo respectful,"'.' The other day there died at Turin, Padro Giacomo, the confessor of Count Cavour. It was to Padre Giacomo that Cavour addressed his dying words, "Father, a free church in a free State."

The oity of Nice has opened a competition for a monument to the memory of Garibaldi. It will- be erected on the square named after tho General, will bo of white marble, and must be finished before January 31,1887. A little Rochester girl.drew the picture of a dog and cat on her slate and, calling her mother's attention to it, she said; I cat oughtn't to have but four legs, but I drew it with six legs so she could/fin away from tho dog." jßy A west side lady was reproved b family physician for too tight lacing as injurious to her health. "But, doctor," re--plied the lady, " the times are very hard and 1 have to make all sorts of shifts for economy's sake." " And whit feature of economy is there. in tight lacing T rsked. " Why," she replied, 1 "if I lace, tight it prevents waistfulness." jl "What are the elements?" asked Texas teacher of a •pupil.-."Air,-water, and whisky;" " Why do you call whisky one of the elements ?" " Because" when pa comes home full of whisky, ms says h&is in his element." Such improvements have been made In devices for utilizing the energy of fuel that recently a ship, with a cargo .of 5,600,000 pounds was sent to England from China on a consumption of only a half-ounce of coal for one ton of cargo p.ep mile. -

IsacDahman of Port Worth, has contracted with English parties'- to deliver on the wharf at Galveston every fortnight for the next five years, the frozen carcasses of 3,000 beeves,.at 6 cenJ&per pound for meat and nine cents pc\Hnnd for hides. yy. ; The annual report of Gen, Drum,' Ad-jutant-General of the Army, says the Adjutant, General finds that the numbec of desertions from the army during tho. past year has sensibly decreased, being 704 less than the number stated in' his last report. Reverend Doctor Hausom, of Chicago, recently lectured at Chautauqua, his Bufcj ject being "Fools." Reverend Doctor' Vincent, who is somewhat of a wag, introduced him as follows" Wo are now to have a lecture on fools, by one—- ; [long pause and loud laughter]—of tho wisest men of the country." The lecturer advanced to the desk and responded as Mows" lam not half so big a fool as Doctor Vincent—[long pause and loud laughter]—would have, you suppose."— Boston Traveller. ■ '