ROUND THE WORLD.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VII, Issue 2181, 29 December 1885, Page 2

ROUND THE WORLD.

" He's not what you call strictly handsome," said the Major, beaming through his" glasses ,on a homely baby howling in his mother's arms, " but'iM-i kind of face that grows on you." "lra s riot a kind of face thatever grew on you," was the indignant and unexpected reply . of .the maternal being. A parti ally-intoxicated man foil overboard from a boat ; the other day, and after being fished out of the water looked around and asked: ".Where's my hat?" The hat was nowhere to be seen. "I guess,"said one, "it must have sunk." "I wonder what made it sink," the owner grumbled. • " Probably because there was a brick in it." There was jno more said. ' . /sW Scene: A train iust pulling upTK a station, Two ladies,wlwhad been in., close converse prepare to descend; First lady, placing both hands behind her back and putting her " dress-improver" into shape: " Tell me, , dear, is it 'straight ?". Strange and sonorous male; at Iter" elbow: "Perfectly, madam,, so far as I am a . judge." Consternation of querist, whose ' "dearfriend" had: turned' back for an instant to fetch her umbrella, and by ; doing so had suffered a grave, with a gruesome countenance, to ateii down before " f The typical Chica/o girl, who is known all over the United States as the possessor of the largest feet in America; has been - cruelly libeled, A Boston paper recently" stated that she talked slang, 'and made, use of suoh expressions as "gettinsr left," " corraled a handkerchief," aiid.;" put in his best licks." A reporter a'fc once called . upon a representafcipe Chicago young lady, who belongs to one of the first'families in' • the city, and asked hiev what she .thought' of the assertion, " This is a fish' story,". she replied, with natural. indignation.. ; " The fellow who wrote it is 'way of his base. There may be some of us who sling slang, but I never work: the.jikng myself; not this child, and now yodßear my bazoo 1 We can discount Boston on beauty; and, as for accomplishments, why, that's where we liokl a • full hand. Take me, for a few warbs, and I can olocute. Boston ?irls are just disgrundled. The fact is that they have got to hustle to keep even with us, and don't you for* get it!" This interview seems to have effectually settled tho question. The libelous Boston paper should now apology- ' '' ' • f This is what a young lady is reported have said recently apropos of marriagd&i "Well,. no, I don't know if I would marry for money alone'; but if'a man had plenty of money, allied' to a sweet disposition, and a moustache that curled at both ends, and nide blue eyes, and a social position; if he had a distinguished ' status in a profession, or even as"a merchant, and his father was rich and his mother and sisters aristocratic, and he wanted to marry me, and lie Would promise to let hie have my own: way in everything, and keep me liberally supplied with money, and have a splendidly furnished town house, arid a hanjjtome country residence; was liberal *out diamonds and other gems—also about the. milliner, never grumbling, and I ; rsally and truly loved him, I wouldn't consider •marriage a drawback" ' ;

Tom (tn Charley, ainolchiE; a cigarette): You'd better put that out; don't you see that notice on the wall! Charley: But • I'm inhaling this (ejecting a groat cloud from his nostrils). Tom : What difference does that make ? Charley : All the difference in the world, especially when they have to politeness to stick up: "Nosef smoking allowed." 'Boston Trans.' 4 It is related of Oscar Wilde that, at the usually momentous period of . court-, ship, he said to the future Mrs \Y. } "Angel of my soul, I adore you eonciit, ionaily. Do you lovo Perelon china, cinque-cento, old and barbaric art generally?" And the reply, which has not heretofore, beeij made, public, is supposed to have been:' Apostle of testheticisin, take off those antiquated, mediteval knee-breeches, quit jelling abovt art, put on pants, get yourhairout, and then come back and talk to me." He did, and now he slugs rapturously: "It'a nice to, be a father," and hauls the infant up and down the back bedroam^nighta.