JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1799, 27 September 1884, Page 2

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

The world generally git things about level; they hav allowed afu deserving ones to go unrewarded, But i never kmi them to let a ded beat git the start ov them, for enny grate length of ov time. What Heaven denys us is worth more to us, if we only knu it, than what Heaven givs. Det is a kind ov slo pizon, "fa' One hit to five misses is abcffir the fair average pv life; and the world " keeps a stern record ov, the misses, and *•-' V leaves th 6 hits tg bio their own horn. Truth is a simple thing, but it rules the universe, and fashions the destiny ov roan. When we are yuiig we are all rhull ov hurrah and no experience, and when we git old we have a little experience and no hurrah at all, " Tlib world never waz so korrupt as itiz now." This haz been the opinyun ov the best krokers we hav had enney tine for the last four thousand years. Men Seldum gro more virtuous ..a they gro older. They sometimes tiro out their vices. Lies are ov three colors--blak, white, and haflf and haff; and ov three i konsider the coal blak hue the safest and most respeklabk Opinyuns, the best ov them, are but respekkble guises. There are very fu plezzuresSl thin world that are worth the pricethat iz asked for them. Thore iz nothing inoro plentifully, than time. Thare iz two minnitts wasted to one use in every' man's )ife, Thore is nothing so mean and so plenty az envy, and there i'g nothing pays so liltlo on the investment. Dogs, little children, and even kats, kuo who their friends are. All atheists and infidels bav once been beleavers, and will be again before they dio, but they may not haye the manlyness to own it. ■ Silence iz safe. We kan hear more, and expose ourselfs less, Simple men are not allwus grate, but grate men are allwus simple. Grate men are like lions, one or two is enuff for a nashun, and it iz the safest oven to keep them in a cage. Welth don't konsist so much in the amount ov money a man haz az in the amount of his wants. Ideas are what wins; they hav no weeping sentimentality in them, but coldly go for the bull's eye every time. REMEMBER 'THIS.L . If you are costive or or* are suffering from any other of the numerous diseases of the stomach or bowels, it is your own fault if you remain ill, for Hop Bitters is a sovereign remedy in all such complaints; If you "are a frequenter, or. a resident of a miasmatic district, barricade yoflr systetn against the scourge of all countries—malarial, epidemic, billious, and intermittent fevers—by'.the use of Hop Bitters. If you have a rough, pimply, w sallow skin, bad breath, pains and aches,, and feel miserable generally, Hop Bitters will give you a fair skin, rich blood, and sweetest breath, health, and comfort, That poor, bedridden, invalid wife, sister, mother, or daughter, can be made the picture of health, by a Jfc bottles of Hop Bitters, costing but a trifle. Will you let them suffer If you are sick Hop Bitters wjto surely aid Nature in making you weHT when all else fails. -j~In short they cure all '• Apses' of the Stomach, Bowels, Blood, Liver Nerves, Kidneys, Bright's Disease. £SOO will be paid for a case they will not cure or help. Druggists and Chemists keep it, , ; !

Holkway's Pills ami Ointment.— Dyspepsia, Jaundice,—These complaints a;e the results of a disordered liver, which • ' secretes bile in quality or quantity unsuitajk. able for digestion, which requires a free flow of healthy bile, to insure which Holloway's Pills and Ointment have long been lamous, far eelipßiii|( all other remedies. Unsuitable food irregularity of living, unhealthy climates, and othor causes are constantly throwing the liver into disorder, but that important organ can, under all circumstances, soon be regulated and healthily adlisted by Holloway.s Pills and Ointment, which acts directly upon its secreting cells, &» The Ointment rubbed on the sliin penetrates fflf ~ immediately to the liver whose tissues it Xj rectifies. One trial is all that ia needed ; a cure will soon follow, Well's " rough ox Uorxs". Ask for Well's "Rough on Corns." 7Jd. Quick relief, complete, permanent euro. Corns, wans, bunions, Moses, Moss & Co., Sydney, General Apents.—Advt, Cored of Driminq.-"A young friend of mine was cured of an insatiable thirst for liquor, that had so prostrated his system that he was unable to do any business, He was entirely cured by hop bitters. It allayed all that burninrj; thirst, took away tho appetite for liquor, made his nerves steady, and he has remained a sober and steady man for two years, and he has no desire to return to his oups."—From a leading R.R. Official. Read 4 Flies and nuc:s.—Beetles, insects, roaches ants, bed-bugs, rats, mice, gophers, jack rabbits cleared out by " Rough on Eats I\A, M<kc3 Moss &Co„ Sydnoy, Genera Agents How to Get SicK.-Exposo yourself night and day. sit too much without exercise, work too hard without rest, doctor all the time take all tho vile .nostrums advertised and then yon will want to know Don't pie in tub house,—"Rough on Rats" clears out rats, inice.beetles, roaches, bed-bugs, flies, ants, insectn, moles, jackabbits, gophers, 7}d—N. Z, Drug Company.