THE JONES FAMILY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1635, 15 March 1884, Page 4

THE JONES FAMILY.

MR JONES HAS' AN EVENING AT HOME. " Maria," said Mr Jones, as ho sat and enjoyed an evening at'home—bocause lie had nowhere else to go—;' ifc seems to me that on a auspicious occasion like this'—and he looked fondly at her—' as if Heaven and home were anonymous terms.' " Sin-onomous," corrected Mrs Jones, taking several pins and a ball of twine out of her mouth, and placing a patch on that part of Willie's pants where it would do the most good. "Jeptba, why don't you read aloud evenings, instead of keeping all the good things' to yourself?" ; "Isreading allowed I"asked Jones innocently. " I thought you preferred to talk."

"Well, I do," snapped Mrs J, "when I have somebody to talk to, which isn't very often." "I'll read," exclaimed Jones, hurriedly reversing the book lie held in his hand-"'And it came to pass'

" Save that for Sunday," interrupted Mrs Jones, " Read some sweet thing about home, or the friends; some poetry, I love to hear you read poetry, Jeptlia," with a sly wink at nobody.' Thus encouraged, Jones, who is an elocutionist, and b»s fired the neighborhood with his dramatic readings in times past, till the neighbors threatened to fire him, seized a volume of poetry, and in a voice that made " Freedom shriek when Kosiusco fell," read aloud that touching poem, beginning :

WMoh shall it be, which ahall it be 1 1 looked at John—John looked at me,

There was silence which could have been felt with a rolling pin when Jones ceased to read, and wiped the foam-flecks from his pallid lips, and Maria was in tears,

" I know you've wakened the boys," she said, in a voice that sounded small and still after his, "and they'll want a drink*

" The children!" murmured Jones, with fixed eyes," the dear sweet children ! M-M-Maria, do we 'preciate these dear ones as we ought to V " I do," said Mrs Jones, shortly. "I hear them talking now—where's my slipper f "No, Maria," returned Jones, whose floul was melted within him by. efforts iu the line of elocution. "I will go and see if the innocent darlings need anything," And he went, upstairs softly, repeating with a Salvini-Eossi-Uooth efi'cct:

Whiuh 8h .11 itbe, whieh shall it be ? 1 luoked at John -John looked at mo. "The innocent darlings," heard him coming, and desisting from a pillow light in which they were engaged, they buried their heads in the sheets and were instantly sound asleep, looking like dimpled cherubs, with an occasional snore to. assert their relation to the human, Jones wiped the salt tears of love nnd elocution from his eyes, and bent fondly over them; then he crept out and waited a moment in the hall to listen to their gentle breathing; suddenly it ceased,

Then a dreadful suspicion haunted Jones—they had been playing'possum, the little wretches, He waited.

"Is the old man gonef were the words of Cherub No. 1, as soon as he got the sheet out of his mouth.

"Yes," answered Gherub No 2, "he was a-crying Willie. Ain't he a duffer though J" " I'll strike him for five cents tomorrow; see if I don't!" " Oh he'll be himself again to-morrow Willie; he'll stamp around and say, ' Get out of my way little imps' just as lie alius does. I don't take no stock in him, 1 don't.'

" Let's play wo was pa 1" suggested Willie.

"' Where's them boys 11'll teach them to touch my paper! I'll tan their hides for 'em ! I'll show 'em who's master in this house!' "

When Jones got back to the sittiug room his faco was red—very red—and his eyes wore n vengeful glare, Mrs Jones looked up at him as he stalked in, and asked innocently: " S'witcb shall it be, s'witch shall it 'be J"

" Both !" shouted the enraged parent "Of all the urnuly brats I ever saw I do think, Marin, our are the worst. I'll leatherthein both to-morrow."—Detroit Free Press.