PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1635, 15 March 1884, Page 4

PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.

''An'uioaboy juGoorgio had Wad mak' tho very de'il go mad!". —Buiins. Tiir Boy Waxes rag Floor for a Thanksgiving Dance—Decides to become a Living Skeleton in a ' Museum. '• Well, how did you pull through Thanksgiving day," asked tho grocery man of tho bad boy, as he came into the store looking as happy as though there was good skating the year round, "Havonnyfunf " Fun is no name for it," said the boy, as lie took a knife and scratched some bees-wax 08 tho bottom of his b:-.ots. " I thought I had seen fun before, but that Thanksgiving day made me tired of laughing. You see we all went to Deacon Perkins house to dinner. One kind believes that you must never have any fun, and always wear a long face, and sigh, and cry easy, while tho other faction believes in doing up religious chores and having a furlough, They believe that there is a time for praying, a timo for dancing, and a time for all kinds of innocent fun, Deacon Perkins is tho leader of the funny side, and he is the jolliest old dog you ever saw, except when he is serious, and then ovcryboly lets up on any foolishness, and pays attention, The minister believes in Deacon Perkinses ideas, but lie don't dare to take sides, though he winks at the fun, and enjoys it, The deacon had our folks and about a dozen other families to dinner on Thanksgiving, and we had boss dinner, Tho deacon and minister were just too happy, except when the deacon asked the blessing, and talked about the poor people all around, that had no turkey stuffed with oysters, and then they were sad. But after they got passing their plates for more turkey and things there was fun all round the board. But the. most fun was after dinner. When it began to get dark tho deacon came to me and said they were going to have a dance in the big room upstairs. They had taken up the carpet and he said tho floor was not just right, and ho wished I would get a cake of beeswax and wax the floor the way they lmvo it waxed down at the dancing school, and so mo and my chum went upstairs and waxed the floor. I guess maybe we put on too much wax, for the first half hour it stuck to the people's shoes, but after that it began to get smooth, and by the time they got warmed up, the floor was just like glary ice. The crowd was all upstairs except the minister and two old maids that couldn't dance. They was talking politics and things, but after awhile the minister said he didn't mind going up to the dancing room to look on, so he took the two wimmin on his arms and went up. He came in the room just as a dance was finished, and he started to walk across the floor to set the wimmin down beside the fiddler, when his left foot slipt sidoways and knocked the feet out from under one of the wimmin and she started to fall, and the other one pulled the other way, and both tho minister's feet slipt and the whole three went down, and I snorted right out. Ma looked at me kind of sassy, and I shut up, but pa was walking across tho room with a big woman to form on for a quadrille, and he said, 'the wicked stand in slippery places,' and just then one of the wimmin who was trying to get up, hit pa in the heel with her shoe, and his feet began to slide, and he grabbed the woman he was walking with, and they went down so the gas fixtures rattled Pa struck on his hip, and one foot hit the minister by the watchpocket and he grunted, and pa was so heavy he kept going, and he plowed right through the two wimmen that went down with tho minister, and they called pa an old brute, and then Deacon Perkins and ma started Jo the rescue, and ma slipped and pulled the deacon down, and I went to help ma, and I met the fiddler and we both fell, and then everybody else laughed, and when the fiddler got U p ho found T had set down on the fiddle and it was all broke up. I have never seen pa cut so many flip-flaps as he did'trying to keep from falling, and the minister was so annoyed at the spectacle ho presented that I dare not go to ohurch for a week or two for fear I shall think about it when he is preaching, and snort right out in meeting. Wo finally got them all on their feet, and the dance was broke up, but they did'nt blamo me and my chum, 'cause the deacon told us to wax the floor. Some of the sober deacons in the chnrch .heard about it, and they say it was a judgment on the jolly folks for dancing. Do you think it was a judgment onus?" " Judgment _ nothing," said the groceryman, "it was simply too much beeswax. Lots of things in this world that are laid to providence, is the result of too much beeswax. A man gets to living high and drinking hard, and some day he is found dead, and the people say it is a dispensation of ■ providence. It is simply a case of too much beeswax. A man gets fo dointr 1 an immense business on a small capi- | tal, and he flies high, and people get to thinking if he did'nt moke the earth he s had a controlling interest in the contract. He walks proud, and looks over his old friends, and seems to be seeking new worlds to conquer, and all of a sudden you hear something drop, and the sheriff has the key "to the store, and the high-flyer find? himsnl flat on the ground. It is tot. much beeswax. The beeswax was there all the time, but had not got ready to he slippery until the high-flyer got too warm. It is just so in every—" "0, says," says tho boy, as he sees the grocery man wound up for all day, " you make me weary, Did I tell you I was going into the f how business V "No, you don't tell me," said the grocery man. " What is it ? A cir ensf

"No, not any circus. I have been looking (ho thing over, and I think there is more money in being a living skeleton than anything there is going, and I have got an offer from a museum of two hundred dollars a week as soon as I can get lean enough, and I have quit eating, since Thanksgiving. I have lost two pounds, and at that rate I will be ready to exhibit about Christmas. A living skeleton can lay up all his money, 'cause he don't have

to oat, and his clothes don't cost much, and it is a regular picnic They wanted rae to be a man without legs, but I thought that would be -bad if I should over wantito ijiiit the show business, and then,they wanted me 1 16 ! be a jorilla, but a jorilla is only a naninial, and can't go in society. They offered to get a wax head fori me if ,1 would bo a two-headed Zulu, but I don't want to be a deception.! I M rather be a freak of nature, (PaisW couraged since I have decided to, be a living skeleton, and thinks 1 better go and board at a cheap boardiig house, in ovder to become a skeleton by the time I have promised to show, but I guess I can find all the facilities I want at home, Say, lets go in partnership, and you be a jorilla, or a wild pirate. Your head is flat enough on 1 top, and i your oyes look like gimlet holes in a boot heel—" i The boy got out of the store just ahead of a hatchet, and he'went into a candy store and bought Some chocolate caramels to become a skeleton on,