STRETCHY RELIGION.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 5, Issue 1508, 13 October 1883, Page 2

STRETCHY RELIGION.

v'Atfi old couple, man and wife were along, ithe a day or two ago huntingfeaiiup : shoreboat, and the woman explained to a steamboat agent: : - " Ifc'savery stormy season, and we expeot to be seasick, and we druthergo a boat where the Capting is a religious man," right," he replwd, ■" We've got one very religious captain on our line, and his boat sails to-night." "Can we go down and m himf j "Oh' yes. 1 Keepiright down the street until.you seo the boat.". , The couple walked on and finally boardod the steamer. The captain and all hands were busy with cargo, but the ! old; folks walked up to him and the old woman said: ' ' '

"Capting, you have been recommended to us as a religious man." "The-T~I have!" he promptly growled. They looked at each other with consternation depicted in their faces, and then .the old man said: "Capting,' what church do yoii belong, to f ■• • "See here!". roared the official, "if you've come to bleed me for some charity,or want me to sign a petition, or expect this boat to carry a lot of deMrheads np the lake, I wont stand itl '•''What do you want ] Out with it, now 'mi no infernal chawing around, I'm blanked if I ain't bothered by more .dashed lunatics than other blanked man on the dashed lakes I • Man.and wife retired to consult and- after getting ten feet away the ,woman said: • .".Henry, he's not a religious man." "Well.ldunno." " Bufc'he swears like a pirate." "Yes, Maria, but you see this is Out West. We don't swear and belong to" the Church too up in New Hampshire, but they may do differently oiit here. He swears but he looks like a man-to depend upon in a storm." ■• •" Shan'twe look for another f ' ... ''lguess not, Maria, I guess the religions out here in Michigan are kind o' stretchy, and they 'low swearing on steamboats and around the depots. We'll go by this boat, and if he don't swear any harder than he did to us mebbe Providence will let him squeeze through on the up-trip and sink him when he comes down!"