FAT WOMEN.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1014, 4 March 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

FAT WOMEN.

The world has only awry jjaperficial My quaintance with professional' Fat Woman. jjfe gaze at them in museums and wonder if "they lite it, : and no more of them. And yet the Fat Woman presents a field for scientific investigation that is as interesting as' , There are always, seven Fat Women simultaneously oil exhibition' m'th&'Uhitcd. States. . Some. of.thorn are attached ;to travelling shows and some' 'of"tli'em' ! ara exhibited in the so-called museumsof our'largn 1 oities, but their, aggregate 1 nurAber-fr always" the same. 'Each one is invariably l; described, 1 aS ; !Hhe/American Fat Womilii) , ' ; thus 1 iiri' 1 plying that'there is only l one of the 'speoies in existence., ,Indeed, most people' firmlybelieve in the unity of the' Fat'Woninn, and" 'imagine 'that she" constantlyi travels 'frjntf plac»;to place! • A 'mom.o'ntVrefliMlon^yill 1 'show that this'theory is ; ihcorre'cti ! for it'nbt ; only'implies.' that'the Fat 'Woman I 'is oimmortal, 1 buV it [requires us to .'admiti |r tnat '■ 'either"she can 1 exist ihm'ore thandbemuseijim 'at the i'jime'time', or can travel .withajcelerity wholly out'of'keeping with'figure? <;Carefuli irivestigation has'shownth'attheFa't'Women aro'preoisely seVen/and that tli6're has neverbeen a'tiine'witliin the 'laat'fifty years'wh'en theirhumb'er.was qith'ergreateroif less; 1 ;' \'>' J ' ; It is 'strange that it 'has never'' occurf dd to anV' jdiehtific'perspn to' notice'the fact'thas a v fat 'woman 1 is; ■ absoldtely;unk'n6\f n.'i There' Kre,'of pourae,' wom'?inr iii' vate; \ife of great breadth'arid,weiglit,"b'dt no'otieeyeV saw a real FaV Woman 6utside ! 6f of a ! 'circus.' 1 Fat' Woman' diei-fof every few years the death'and burial of a Fat'Wonjan' who Was in Bafhum's Museum''at-the', time; ■that building was destroyed 1 by; fit'6'' is'des'. cribed iii trie 'newspa'pers/hut' ! s'o.'far 'asj jiho l public can learn borii.'l They burst upon us in museums in'the'rull expanse of their mature ch'arrds/, and' Buon' a thing 1 as : 'a Fat Woman'in'the biidi"so to; speak,' is utterly unknown.' If, l ,we''are to' judge solely by' such 'evidence' as' is accessiple to ordinary persons, we must' assume that Fat.Women are suddenly dpvelopedby sojne 'Secret process'known only to professional showmen. 1 ' '■' ,; ,: ' ''' "., ,/ '! I '. h i:

The professional,Fat.^Woman'.;alwiya marries the professional living sketeioh. ki might be imagined from this assertion, th ire are always precisely seven contempiran Living Skeletons. Like the Fat Woman, the Living 1 Skeleton 1 Is' unknown in private life. We never'meet one'in tho streetlor never hear that in such or such" ai village there is a respected citizen who ,is a Livjng" Skeleton. Some years ago—probably not later than' 1850-there were only four Living Skeletons, and the increase, in Jheir number was probably made in order to' further fhe matrimonial views of the Fat Women, }At present they correspond in number,. as tyell as in the mystery of their origin, to the Fat Women, and the two species' cannot well i be studied separately. . p' There is no ream to believe that'the |at Woman is other than genuine. The opportunities for observing her are extensive,- and' the theory that she is partly artificial has been thoroughly exploded by pins and other scientific tests." She is always amiabloandapparently sincere and honest, and so farj as can be learned does not differ in character from other and thinner women' of 'amiability and honesty. We oould, easily admit that she is simply an ordinary woman'who has' grown inordinately fat, were it not that private Fat Women are unknown,' and' ; that' professional Fat Women are always'seen, i ? .-'.' The hypothesis that Fat Wonien .are sjid- 1 denly developed; or expanded,'by a secret' process 'rests upon ,no evidence,' 'is grossly improbable,' and, moreover, is not necessary,' If we assume that there is a' guild or 'society of Fat Women having certain ' fixei rnjes,' and thore is a secret college Whore ambitious' girls are taught the'art'.of fatness,' 'tho chief mystery of the'" matter'can'be explained. Undoubtedly, girls with'a natural 'tendency ; to fatness can be made into'Fat'\^omen'bya ; long course of careful dieting and, seclusion from all exciting influences.' The number of girls who submit to this process may be very large, but with an intelligent comprehension of the evil of depreciating the value of Fat Women by an overstocking of the market, the Guild of Fat Women has decided that only seven shall be on exhibition at any given time, These seven are chosen in ac-'' cordancewith a fixed system:of selection') they serve for one year each, and' their earnings are put into the Treasury of the guild' for the common support of all itsincmbera. At present it is believed that the' guild consists of thirty-seven membors, most of whom are married to Living Skeletons; with whom they pass their unemployed'time in'much domestic bliss, Should an active Fat Woman die while on exhibition, the place is promptly supplied by another Fat Woman detailed for that purpose,' and if the latter Is married her 1 Living Skeleton is expected to accompany her, while the grief-stricken Skeleton attached to the deceased Fat Womanretu'rns "to! the shade of the college, or asylum, to mourn his loss, and, after a decent period, to form a new matrimoniaTalliance, ' ,: ~' i l

This theory completely and, satisfactorily explains the mysteries of professional female fatness and the cognate mystery of the'pro-) fcssional Living Skeleton, 'The latter is' probably produced by feeding an originallythin boy exclusively on the food sold at railway restaurants, and '■ it is believed that a 1 veryßhort.timeisrequired in order to cofc' vert the raw boy into the finished skeleton,The exact locality where Fat Women and Living Skeletons are manufactured, 1 and are kept in store, ia not certainly known,' but a little determined investigation would, probably end in its discovery, though' Buch a discovery would prove fatal'to the business of the guild.— " ' . ■ .. .'; .'•. . ... ■ i i ,ii 1.. .1 ); . r