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Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 288, 27 November 1902, Page 3

“ How old are you !” asked the lawyer who was questioning a woman witness. The woman hesitated. "Don’t hesitate,” suggested the lawyer ; “ the longer you hesiUtc the older you will be.” I little H >rold had been a naughty boy. and his papa had sentenced him to an hour’s solitary confinement in his bedroom as a punishment. When the hour was over, and the small prisoner was allowed to return to the sitting-room, he went to his mamma, and in a stage whisper said !

" Mamma, I think you might have done a great deal better than to marry papa.”

A devoted couple were in search of a quite little cottage in the country. At last they came across what appeared an ideal spot, standing back from the main road, nearly hidden behing a bank of flowers and foliage, with roses clustering round the rustic porch. “Oh John, how sweet,” she said, “ the very spot.” " Any spot would be sweet to me with you to adorn it,” he replied. They, or rather she, interviewed the caretaker, and everything seemed mos-t satisfactory. But he was a practical man, and as they were leaving he sniffed a sniff, and said: " Er—l—er —rather fancy the drains are a little defective ” “ Drams, sir,” exclaimed the caretaker, confidently. "You can rest your mind easy about them: why, bless your heart, there ain’t any.”