Clippings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 62, 23 October 1900, Page 3

Clippings.

As the Victorian oontlngont were parading the streets of .Melbourne a i woman pounced on a volunteer, and cried : " You don't escape your lawj ful wedded wife like that J " On being i dragged away, she added : " Oh, if I'd only brought mother with me ! We'd have stopped you if xva'd bad io hammer the whole blessed contingent ! " And the soldier marched on to face death without a tranaor. A. Scotchman went to London for a holiday. Walking along one of the | streets' he noticed a baldheaded chemist I standing at his shop door, and inquired lif be had any hair restorer. •' Yes, ! sir, " said the chemist ; " step inside, ■piekse. There's au article I can, recommend. Testimonials from great men who have used it. It makes the hair grow in twenty-four hours." I " Aweel, " said the Scot, '• ye can gio j the top o' yer heid a bit rub wi t, and I'll look back the morn aud ace if ye're tellin' the truth. " ThB chemist returned the bottle to the shelf, and kicked the errand boy for laughing. A short time ago a largo factory, fitted with the most modem appliances, including electric light, caught fire, and, despite the most strenuous efforts of the fire brigade, waa almost demolished. The foilov/ing morning a newly-appointed member of the force (who had been transferred from a remote village), was despatched to the spot, with a view of ascertaining how the fire originated. After closely interrogating the manager of the factory, he asked to see the man who waa responsible for the electric light. The manager stated that the electric switches were under his sole control. " Then you are the man that lights lip the eleotrio affair?" said the policeman. Manager:" That is so," Policeman (bubbling over with excitement) : " Now, be careful how ydu answer my next question, oos if it' ain't satisfaotory it will be took as evidence against j | ye, When you lighted the electric !l ghfc last night, where did yon throw I the match-? " (