STRATEGIC MOVEMENTS.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Issue 22, 22 October 1898, Page 3

STRATEGIC MOVEMENTS.

First Youth : " Say, Joe, didn't I see yon running . down the , street yesterday with David McKirdy, after you wanting to licit him ?" ' Second Youth : " Yes. "What did you run for ? I—lI — I was running so as to get away from ,home, so as his, mother couldn't see him fighting; but by the time he was out of sight of his house we got in" sight of mine, and then, as my mother would see me if, I stopped to hit him, I went in so as to be. out ( o' temptation. 11 ( " - Women, as a rule, judge men by their clothes j just, as they judge the quality, of cigars by the label on the box. The Advertiser is "read by everybody. Advertisers take note. • " - " ■ '■• If you want a man to think you' are smart* you have only to make him imagine that you think he is smart.

Trying to be happy is like trying to go to sleep. You will not succeed unless you forget that you are trying. " There it no occasion for you to envy me," said the prosperous person; " I have a 9 many troubles as you." " 1 allow you do, mister," admitted Dismal Dawson, 11 but the difficulty with me is that I ain't got nothing else." The other week a few would-be joker* en route for Cbristchurch were continually annoying the guard at every station with foolish questions such as : " How long will we be before we reach Christchurch ?" "Are we no near" landed?!' ; etc. At length, annoyed beyond endurance, the guard called one of them " An impudent young puppy !" " Ay, ay," replied the joker, " I may be a young puppy the noo, but I'm thinkui* I'll be an auld dog afore I. get tae Christchurch."