A MATRIMONIAL RECEIPT.

Waikato Argus, Volume V, Issue 348, 1 October 1898, Page 1 (Supplement)

A MATRIMONIAL RECEIPT.

Bless my soul !" sxcluimed the misused wife to her diplomatic and clever friend. " How on earth do you manage to keep your husband in such complete subjection ? Why he used to be the ringleader of the rapidest set at the club. Now he is as docile as a lamb. Pray how do you manage it ?" "It's quite the easiest thing in the world," was the confident rejoinder. It takes a little strategy, that's all, my dear." " Strategy, is it ? Well, what kind? Give mc the tip. Do you get down to the office on pay day and keep him eternally broke?" " No nonsense !" " Perhaps you hire a detective to dog his steps ?" " Nothing so stupid, my dear," was the reply. " I will explain. When- he gets home late—which doesn't happen so often now —I make a great display of kindness. I am all loving tenderness and forgiveness. But in the morniug—now !" " Well, what of the morning ?" "1 give him the cold shoulder, I am freezing, bitter and cynical. After he has pestered me to know the reason of such treatment, I tell him that he has been taiking in his sleep again, and telling—oh, such horrible things ! That I am going to make immediate investigations, and if I find one half of what he said is true, I shall instantly go back to mother's and iustitute proceedings for divorce." " Ah, I begin to see your diplomacy." "Yes. Of course poor George suffers mental agonies till lie knows what he has been saying in his sleep; but as I never tell him—for there is not anything to tell, of course—and keep up a threatening air of mystery, he is mortally afraid of doing something wrong and then coming home and telliug me all about it in his sleep. Oh, I tell you it works like a charm." "Thank you, dear," was the grateful reply ; and she went away happy in the thought that she could make her husband miserable.