Group says get tough to love your teenager

Waimarino Bulletin, Volume 6, Issue 228, 26 January 1988, Page 9

Group says get tough to love your teenager

"Toughlove" is a new self-help programme for parents troubled by teenage behaviour. The first meeting of this parents' support group will be held at 7.30 pm in the community health rooms, Raetihi on Wednesday 11 February. "Toughlove" is a loving solution for families that are being torn apart by unacceptable adolescent behaviour. It is the same kind of loving approach used to get little children to take medicine. We know they don't like it, but w e insist on them taking it anyway. Most parents believe that understanding, reasoning, listening, and above all, tender loving care (TLC), will solve all family problems. With some children those approaches seem to work. "Toughlove" is for those many parents whose teenagers will not accept TLC. These young people may

wag school, run away, abuse alcohol and other drugs, get in trouble with the law, make all their own choices, or act as if they are the only ones who should make decisions about their lives. They need to become aware of the reality of their choices by accepting the consequences of their own actions, no matter how badly their parents may feel about them "taking their medicine". The "toughlove" parents manual is a self-help book for parents who want to stop the self-destructive behaviour of their children. It is filled with practical ideas that work. The support group provides an opportunity for parents to share ideas and suggestions for different ways of coping with problems identified at the meeting. "Toughlove" shows parents that they are not alone, that they have rights and worth and deserve to be treated with respect. Although it is hard for parents to reaeh out during a time of strife, other

"toughlove" support group members both in New Zealand and overseas have found that it is a therapy

which works.

Leigh .

Berry

Public Health Nurse