Winning without a battle

Waimarino Bulletin, Volume 4, Issue 36, 24 February 1987, Page 5

Winning without a battle

At one time parents and teachers tended to have almost unquestioned and unchallenged authority. The rules seemed much clearer and simpler. Life consisted of punishing for 'wrong' and rewarding for 'right'. This is not the case now. In its place we have a society which has countless alternatives and everyone questions everything. In most areas of society training and education are provided to accompany these questions, but this is not the case with Parenting. Now, parents are so much more aware of the hazards ofdoinga'bad job'in raising children without being taught how to do a good job. As a result a lot of parents quickly lose a great deal of confidence and feel defeated at an early stage.

In recent years a Taranaki Family Counsellor and psychologist Ms. Kate Birch has taken countless cases she has seen and devised from the recurring patterns an effective programme which enables parents to sort out mis-behaviour from common healthy behaviour, build up techniques for changing that behaviour to become a more confident and happy parent as a result. At the same time, their child also learns to channel its energy to develop into its 'Real Self. It is not a system which depends on 'controlling' children, but recognises the rights and needs of all the members of the family group to have a happy, well adjusted life. The programme is called 'P 5' which stands for a participatory programme promoting pleasurable parenting and there are several trained tutors in this area.

The programme concerns the behaviour of preschoole/s through to late teenager, (and the continuing communication we have at all stages after that!) We become aware WHAT is happening, having the skills to decide HOW to deal with it and the confidence to carry it through. A P 5 course will begin on 26th February, as a night class to be held in the Ohakune Kindergarten each Thursday at 7.30pm for 10 weeks. The course covers such topics as 'Encouraging Responsibility', 'Win the war without the battle', 'Teaching new behaviour', 'I will if you will', and 'Teenagers'. Tutors are kindergarten teacher Vera Donnelly, and public health nurse Leigh Berry. Enrolment and details are available from the Ohakune Kindergarten, Phone 58-383.