NOTES.

Wairarapa Age, Volume XXXI, Issue 10713, 11 January 1913, Page 4

NOTES.

Heard at the telephone exchange: Operator: "Are you there?" Subscriber : "I vas talking mit my husband, and now I don't hear him no more. You must have pushed him off do vire."

A contemporary says that ' 'every woman is at heart a rake." That ■settles it.

An English paper says: "The great fissure of civilisation at tho present stage is that which separates tho Haves and "the Have-nots. At some future epoch the gulf between the Cans and Oannots may furnish the world with a stil! more convulsive problem." We shall -hack the "cans" every time.

Lifn is mostly froth find bubble, Two things stand like stone— Kindness in another's trouble. Courage in your own.

One of the Melbourne' scientists says that "market prices are almost entirely the result of the automatic working of social forces." Some Masterton wool-crowers who tested tile market in Wellington- this week are not quite satisfied on the point.

Mr Johnston, the Tasmanian Government Statistician, says that "the standard of living of the people as a whole can only be raised by cheanemino- the east of commodities." Precisely ! But how are we going to cheapen the cost of commodities?

A Delhi cable says: "Lord Ha.rdincre is still making progress. His hearing is affected." Presumably, if he goes on progressing, his sight will become affected.

An Irishman was in the habit of getting drunk. His wife told him that he must .not come home when he was drunk. One night he bceame intoxicated, and remembered his wife's command. To a,ppease her he bought some chrysanthemums. When he reached the bottom of the stairs she called out, "Have you been drinking?" "No-," he answered, "I have been buying some chrys—chrys—" and could get no further. "Oh," he murmured, "why didn't T get roses?"

A Masterton youth asked his parents if it would not be indecent, in these puritanical days, to tell thn "naked truth.'' The parents reminded his offspring of the person who covered up his nakedness by "slipping on a banana- pool."

Here is a paragraph from a. contemporary.- "The -wife of the headman of Kinali, -Sumatra, who was attacked by a ticrer on the verandah of her bungalow, defended 'herself for more than an lumr with a Malay kris fa curved sword), and ultimately killed it." Tt would be interesting to know what part of the lady's anatomy is referred to. Also how did she kill that sword?

A new batch of Justices of f.he Peace was recently issued in N<mv /inland. A country paper is delighted that one of its townsmen has been honoured, and thinks ho well deserves it, for it says ".he is a man of convictions!"