'LEAVE MY NAME OUT."

Tuapeka Times, Volume VII, Issue 424, 9 January 1875, Page 3

'LEAVE MY NAME OUT."

One of the bores of newspapcrdom is the daily procession of chaps who march into the editorial'rooms, just after tha adjournment of the police court, with the request, "Please leave my name out of your police reports," and accompanying said request with explanations which prove that the fellows are among the most gifted liars in the universe. It is useless to tell them that a certain "way to prevent the dreaded publication is to behave themselves respectably -in tlfey come right on time next morning* "with freshly-blackened eyes and battered hats, and with the bame plaintiff petition or %o state that we falsify ihc police records as (o the character of the offence or penalty inflicted. Thi3 is becoming monotonous, and unless t^ere is an early change we shall feel it necessary to adopt tlie westerea style of corrections, of wHicli the following are samples :—: —

Correction. — The Mr Snoozer, arrested for being drunk on the streets, is not Mr Snoozer the fish pedlar. The latter gentleman gets drank in his own house, believing that intoxication, like charity, begins at home. Not the man. — The name of ilr. U No appeared in our police court yeste^lay, charged with stealing a baby wagon. This is not Mr. U No our well-known budge tenderer. He wouldn't stoop to steal a babywagon, though it wouldn't be safe to leave a circus chariot or a f rieght train laying around where he could get his hands on it. Amende Honorable — Our local columns yeste^lay contained an account of the elopement^pf a gay Lothario of this %vn named Stiggins, with the wife of a well-to-do farmer m a neighbouring county. And now- comes Stiggins, the plasterer, to say it isn't him Stiggin's wife is sitting in a buggy in front of our office, and, after a cursory glance at her, we are prepared to say we wouldn't blame Stiggins if he did run away. She must be* a living and constant provocation to skedaddle. All right Stig ;it is another maf this time, but if you get a chance to elope with a good-looking woman our advice iB to "git." Give the Devil His Due :—: — Pluguglie, who runs a saloon on the towpath^. called this morning to say that he is not wie Pluguglie who beat and robbed a country man at a late hour on Wednesday night. We are bound to believe him, but at the same time we must say that we wouldn't like to encounter this particular Pluguglie alone at a late hour of the night with any valuables about us. If robbery, murdejjp and sudden death are not written on his countenance, we dont want a cent. — "Hartford Post."