AMERICAN NOTES.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 206, 11 January 1872, Page 6

AMERICAN NOTES.

A pedagogue in Indiana, who was "bad up " for unmercifully welting the back of a little girl, justified his action by explaining that " she persisted in flinging paper pellets at him when his back was turned." That is no excuse. •The town crier once taught school up in the mountains, and about every halfhour had to remove his coat and scrape off the dried paper wads adhering to the nap. He never permitted a trifle like this to unsettle his patience ; he just kept on wearing tbat gaberdine until it had no nap and the wads wouldu't stick. But when they took to dipping them in. mucilage he- made a complaint; to the Board of Directors. " Youug man," said the chairman, "ef you don't like our ways, you'd better sling your blankets aud git. Prentice Mulford tprte skule yer for raore'n six months, and he never t<aid a word again the wads." The T.C briefly explained that Mr. Mulford might have been brought up to paper- wads, and didn't mind them. "It ain't no use," said another director, " l^e children hey got to be amused." The T.C. .protested that there were other iiinus^menfs quite as diverting 5 but the third director here rose and remarked : "I perfectly agree with the Cheer \ this youngster'd better travel. I consider as paper wads lies at the bottom of poppilkr edyerca-

tion; ther a necissary adjunck uv the skool systira. Mr. Oheerman, I move and second that thisyer skoolmaster be shot." The T.C. did not remain to observe the result of the voting. — San Francisco " News Letter."

The following letter appears in tne «.' New York Herald " :— '-To'the Editor. — Please insert the following in your valuable paper, and oblige a reader. — Mr. Snook would be conferring a favour upon the public by having the tier over, the dress circle made waterprpof, .and aq preclude the tobacco juice from drippin{**m the audience in the front seats of 4e dress circle. —

Yours, J.D."

A man in Fenton, New York State, sold his wife to another man, ami drew up a regular bill of sale, iv.l;nowledging tlie'*eceipt of seventeen dollars ami sixty-nine cents, for which he, says :—: — "I do hereby remise and release all rights and claims to the ' said ' female." A regular office is to be opened in Binghampton at once for tbe purchase and sale of wives. A man is already painting the sign: — "Wimmea Baut and Sould Heer."

Since tbe collapse of the ofl Speculations, comparatively litlie has b®en s;iid about petroleum, and few people have any adequate idea of the important rank it holds among the productions of the United States. From the report of the Bureau of Statistics it aopears that last year petrolonni was the fou'th article of export from the United States, exceeded only by breadstuffs, cotton and corn. The total value of the petroleum exported amounted to nearly thirty-six millions of dollars.

Speaking of thunder, James Russell Lowell has a good story on that head. He tells of a high and mighty Englishman, walking up and -down the piazza of a hotel in a Western .village, with that " certain condescension " in his manner which foreign snobs think is the thing -whan travelling in the United State?. "That was a heavy clap of thunder you had here last night," said tbe Briton to a prairie cb-tp that crossed his ptifcb. " Well, yes," said the uai.ive, who took in the other's style at a glance, "we did think ib pretty well, considering the number of inhabitants."

A Dulath (Wisson&in) paper snys :— " A wolf strayed into our Union Church last sabbath during service, and was so overcome by an ounce of lead that was presented to him that he was unable to leave."

A mendicant who was refused a meal in a Missomi "hotel, revenged himself by committing suicide oi the premises, spoiling a carpet as good as new, and leaving the funeral expenses to be paid by the landlord.