FREE AND EASY NOTES.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 206, 11 January 1872, Page 5

FREE AND EASY NOTES.

BY P. TEN AX. ■ , ■ Feeling scientifically disposed the other j day, I 'visited the Athenaeum' for the purpose of luxuriating an hour or two in , the Lawrence Minendogical Museum. 1 After looking round for -some time without seeing any indjca'iion of t)ie presence of a museum, lasted, the urban e 4 Libra- ; rian if such an 'institution existed, and if I so, where it was to be "found. Ehe Li : jbrarian *he I reupon i qute'tly handed me a candle-box,, mildly observing, -as he did so, " 'Here Jit iff, *' 'Asa mkiseum buried in a- candle-bo^ had not -previously come

vithin the range of my experience, I felt -atfter staggered. However, being de-. "ermined to accomplish the object of my visit, I disinterred the museum, and lound it to consist of a number of interesting specimens of the mineral treasures of New Zealand, all neatly labelled and wrapped up in kerosene-saturated pieces of a defunct Wellington journal. Now, with all due deference to the gentlemen of the Athenseum Committee, 1 am of opinion that a better plan of exhibiting the specimens sent them by the Government geologist could be devised. In the latter half of the nineteenth century, I think that the idea of exhibiting them in a neat glass case need not be considered chimerical. Of course, to carry out this idea requires some money — say 50s. If the Committee have not capital sufficient to do it, T suggest that they throw a portion of the expense on posterity, by issuing debentures redeemable in a century or two. lam not sufficiently posted in the state of the Lawrence money market to give an authoritative opinion, but T think the required amount could be raised, without much difficulty.

I begin the year with gloomy forebodings for the absconding interest. The places to which enterprising defaulters can retire and study in security the laws relating to meum and. tuum are becoming alarmingly few and difficult of access. Fiji has perversely refused to become the Texas of the South Pacific ; and the rapid extension of the telegraph renders a hegira to almost any part of Europe, Asia, Africa, or North America an experiment fraught with danger. If telegraphic extension goes on at its present rapid rate, very soon there will not be a spot on the wide earth wherein a '• skedaddler " may dwell in safety. Surely is at hand the final catastrophe.

It affords me melancholy satisfaction to be the first to intimate to the world that New Zealand is on the ver^e of irretrievable ruin. This sad intelligence was imparted to me by a roadside publican, in whose prescience I place implicit reliance. Said he to me one day, while acute distress was depicted on every feature of his expressive countenance, " When them 'ere railways is made what tmdo will there be for them as has houses ulon<r the road? The railways will whirl all the passengers past 'cm — every man will be able to do his journey in a few hours instead of days ; horses will be of no mortal good ; nobody will ever stop overnight and gpt on the spree ; and travellers won't be able to stop at wayside houses for drinks, not even if old friends. I believe it is a conspiracy to ruin us fellers ; and I'm sure the d Gnv'rment will order the drivers not to stop the t'-ains at the houses on the road ; if, they would, stop for five minutes at. each house, -it wculd give'us a show." The feelings of the speaker at this juncture overcame him, and he concealed his sorrow in a pewter. " Yes, my boy," he resumed suddenly and gloomily, "this country's done. I'm going to sell ont and go to Fiji. Ik's hai-d, though, after I'd made up my mind to settle in the country, to have to leave ; and you'll see hundreds and hundreds of the best colojiists slide when these cussed railways come near them ; and the country will be given up to Big Clarke, who will cart Dunedin up to Moa Flat and turn it into a woolshed." 1 endeavoured by southing words to alleviate my publican friend's grief, but unavailingly. The prophetic spirit was strong upon him, and he suffered the miseries about to fall on this devoted country. "Ah ! " again lie burst forth, " if everybody was as mindful of the interests of the colony as I am, we'd soon put a stop to railways ; and by Jeremiah ! if there's any pluck left in the country, form a party, and I'll lead it to Wellington, and crucify Yogel as a warning to M. H. It's not to attempt to cook the country with railways." I departed sadly, and purchased a cigar-box wherein to pack my effects, so that when the steam whistle is first heard in Lawrence I may be ready to go to a civilised country.

Some people entertain -peculiar notions of the beautiful. A writer in the "l>ai]y Timeß,'' describing the scenery about Dunedin as it appeared to the early settlers, likens its charming aspect to that of a potful of boiling porridge. To a hungry Scotchman, porridge boiling in a pot may be the most fascinating of earthly sights ; but I must make the humiliating confession that to me it would certainly fail to convey the idea of picturesque scenery, or indeed of anything surpassingly beautiful. I believe lam safe in stating that several respectable and intelligent residents of this planet would agree with, me on this point. The genius under notice, in his next effusion, will probably describe the Taieri morasses as presenting the superbly dreary features of a dish. of Scotch kail, and Dunedin Harbour as forcibly reminding hi>n <>f the matchless beauty of a gill of whisky.