A FAST WOMAN,

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 188, 14 September 1871, Page 7

A FAST WOMAN,

Mrs Harriet Beecher Stowe, in her sketches entitled "My Wife and I," published in the "Christian Union," " takes off" a certain lively maided in .New York, who speculates and runs a newspaper. A day or two after, as I was sitting in my room busy writing, I heard a light footstep on the stairs and a voice saying, "Ob, yes! this is Mr. Henderson's room — thank you," and the next moment a jaunty, dashing, young woman, with bold blue eyes and curling brown hair, with a little, wicked looking cap, with nodding cock's feather, set askew on her head, came marching up and seated herself at my writing-table. I gazed in blank amazement. The apparition burst out laughing, and seizing me frankly by the hand said : — " Look here, Hal ! don't you know me ? Well, »»y dear fellow, if you don't, it's time you did ! I read your last ' thingamngig ' in the "Milky Way," and came round to make, your acquaintance."

I gazed in dumb amazement while she went on.

"My dear fellow, I have come to enlighten you," — and as she said this she drew somewhat nearer to me, and laid her arm confidingly on my shoulder, and looked coaxingly in my face. The look of amazement which I gave, under these circumstances, seemed to cause her great amusement.

"Ha! ha!" she said, "didn't I tell 'em so ? You ain't half out of the shell yet. You ain't really hatched. You go for the emancipation of woman, but bless you, boy, you haven'fc the the least idea what it means — not a bit of it, sonny, have you now? Confess!" she said, .stroking my whiskers, ccaxingly.

"Really, madame — I confess," I said, hesitating, " I haven't the honour — "

" Not the honour of my acqaintance, you was going to say ; well, that's exactly what you're getting now. I read your piece in the " Milky Way," and, said I, that boy's in heathen darkness yet, and I'm going round to enlighten him. You men ■well,- Hal ; but this is a great subject. You haven't seen through it. Lord bless you, child! you ain't a Woman, and I an', that's just the difference."

Now I ask any of my readers, what is a modest young man, in this nineteenth century — having been brought up to adore aud reverence woman as a goddess — to do when lie finds himself suddenly vis-a-vis with her, in such embarrassing relations as mine were becoming? I had heard before of Miss Audacia Dangereyes as a somewhat noted character in New York circles, but did not expect to be brought so unceremoniously, and without the least preparation of mind, into such very intimate relations with her.

" Now look here, bub !" she said, "I'm just a-going to prove to you, in five minutes, that you've been writing about what you don't know anything about. You've been asserting, in your blind way, the rights of women to liberty and equalicy ; the rights of women, in short, to do anything that men do. Well, here comes a woman to your room, who takes her rights, practically, and does just what a man would do. I claim my right to smoke, if I please, and to drink, if I please ; and to come up to your room and make you • a call, and have a good time with you, if I please, and tell you that I like your looks as I do. Furthermore, to invite you to come and call at my room. Here's ray card. You may call me 'Dacia, if you like — I don't go on ceremony. Come round and take a smoke with me this evening, won't you 1 I've got the nicest little chamber that ever you saw. What rent do you pay for yours % Say, will you come round V " Indeed, thank you, Miss — " " Call me 'Daeia for short. I don't stand' on ceremony. Just look on me as another fellow, and now confess that you've been tied and fettered by those vapid conventionalities which bind women down till there is no strength in i 'em. You visit in those false artificial circles where women are slaves, kept like canary birds in glided cages. And you are afiaid of your own principles when you see them carried out in a real free woman. Now, I'm a woman that not only dares say, but I dare do. Why, hasn't a woman as much a right to go round and make herself agreeable to men, as to sit still at home and wait for men to come and make themselves agreeable to her? I know you don't like this, I can see you don't ; but it's only because you are a slave to old prejudices. - But I am going to make you like me in spite of yourself. Come, now, be consistent "with, your principles ; allow me my equality as a woman, a human being."

I was in such a state of black amazement by this time as seemed to de-; prive me of* all power of self-posses-sion. At this time the door opened, and Jim Fellows appeared. A most ludicrous grimace passed over his face as he saw the position, and he cut a silent pirouette in the air, behind her. J>he turned her head, and he advanced.

"Fairest of the sex! ("with some slight exceptions) — to what happy accident are we to attribute this meeting? 2 '

" Hallo, Jim ! is this you ? " she " Oh, certainly, it's me" said Jim, seating himself familiraly. " How is tho brighest star of womanhood'— the Northern Light ; the Aurora Boreal is ; the fairest of the fair? Bless its little heart, has it got its rights yet ?

Did it want to drink and smoke? Come alongi with Jim, let's have a social cocktail."

" Keep your distance, sir," said she, giving him a slight box on the ear. " I prefer to do own my courting. I bavebeentryingtoshowyour|friendhere how little he knows of the true equality of women, and of the good time coming when we shall have our rights, and do just as we darn please, as you do. I'll bet tow there ain't one of those Van Arsdel girls that would dare to do as I'm doing. But we're opening tbe way, sir, we're opening the way. The time will come when all women will be free to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, as men." "My beloved Audacia," said Jim " allow me to remark one little thing, and that is, that women (men also) must be left free to the pursuit of happiness, and also, as the Scriptures say, new wine must not be put in old bottles. Now my friend Hal, begging his pardon, is an old bottle, and I think you have already put as much new wine into him, as his constitution will bear. And as he and I have got to make our living by scratching, aud (tempus fugit) we've got articles to write, and as there is always, so to speak, the devil after us folks that write for the press, may I humbly request that you will withdraw tho confusing light of your bright eyes from us for the prosent, and, in short, take your divine self somewhere else ? "

As Jim spoke these words he passed his arm around Miss Audacia's waist, and drew her to the door of the apartment, which he threw open, and handed her out, bowing with great ceremony. " Stop ! " she cried, " I ain't ftoin* to be put out that way. I haven't done what I came for. You both have got to subscribe for my paper, the Emancipated. Woman." '■ Couldn't do it, divine charmer," said Jim ; " couldn't do it ; too poor ; mill runs low ; no water ; modest merit not rewarded. Wait till my ship comes in, and I'll subscribe for anything you want." " Well now, you don't get rid of me that way, I tell you. I came in to get a subscription, and I am going to stay till I get one," said Miss Audacia. " Come, Hal," she said, crossing once more to me, and sitting down by me, and taking my hand, " write your name there, there's a good fellow."

I wrote my name in desperation, while Jim stood by laughing. •' .Jim," said she, " come, put youra down quick, arid let's have it over."

" Well, now," said she, " fork out the tin — five dollars each."

We both obeyed, mechanically. "Well, well," said she, good-natured-ly, " that'll do for this time ; good morning ; " and she vanished from the apartment with a jaunty toss of the head and a nod of the cock's feathers in her hat. Jim closed the door and locked it.

" Mercy upon us, Jim ! " -said I ; " who and what is this creature ? "

"Oh, one of the harbingers of the new millennium," said Jim. "Won't it be jolly when all the girls are like her. But we shall have to keep our doors locked then."