THE UNLUCKY PAIR OF BREECHES.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 185, 24 August 1871, Page 7

THE UNLUCKY PAIR OF BREECHES.

An old gentleman, a merchant of Busblane, had an~only. daughter, posBessed of the highest attractions, moral, personal, and pecuniary; she was engaged, and devotedly attached, to a young man in her own rank of life, one in every respect well worthy of her choice. All tue preliminaries were arranged, and the marriage, after two or three postponements, was fixed, " positively for the last time of marrying," to take place on Thursday, April 15, 18 — . On the preceding Monday; the bridegi'oom elect (who was to have received £10,000 on his wedding day, and a further sum of £30,000 on his father-in-law's dying, as there was hope he soon would) had some little jealous squabbling with his intended at an evening party ; the " tiff " arose in consequence of his paying more attention than was thought justifiable to a young lady with .sparkling eyes and inimitable ringlets. The gentleman retorted, and spoke slightingly of a certain cousin, whose waistcoat was the admiration of the assembly, and which, it was hinted darkly, had been embroidered by the fair hand of the heiress in question. He added, in conclusion, that it would be time enough for him to be schooled when they were married; that (reader, pardon the unavoidable expression !) she was " putting on the breeches " a little too soon. ' After supper both the lovers had become more cool ; iced champagne and cold chicken had done their work, and leave was taken of the bridegroom in posse in terms kindly and affectionate, if not so enthusiastic as those which had previously terminated their meetings. On the next morning the swain thought with remorse on the ang;»y feeling he had exhibited, ard the cutting sarcasm to which he had given vent ; and, as a part of his amende honorable, packed up with great care a magnificient^ satin dress, which he had previously bespoken for his beloved, and which had been sent home to him in the ■interval, and transmitted it to the lady, with a- note to the followiug effect : — " Dearest ,— I have been unable to close my eyes all night in consequence of thinking on our foolish misunderstanding last evening. Pray, pardon me ; and, in token of your forgiveness, design to accept the accomanpying dress, and wearitforthesakeofyourever affectionate ." Having written the note, he gave it to his shopman to deliver with the parcel ; but as a part of his neither garments happened, at i the time, to stand in need of repairing, | he availed himself of the opportunity offered by his servant having to pass the tailor's shop, in his way to Bushlane, and desired him to leave them, packed in another parcel, on his road. The reader forsees the inevitable contretemps. Yes, the man made the fatal blunder ! consigned the satin robes to Mr. Snips, and left the note, together with the dilapidated habiliment, at the residence of the lady. Her indignatjon was neither to be described nor appeased. So exasperated was she, at what she considered a determined and deliberate affront, that when her admirer called she ordered the door to be closed in his face, refused to listen to any explanation, and resolutely broke off the match. Before many weeks had elapsed means were found to make her acquainted with the history of the objectional present ; but she, nevertheless, adhered firmly to her resolve, deeply lamenting the misadventure, but determined not to let the burden of ridicule rest upon her. — The Life and Letters of the Rev. Richard Barris Barham, author of the "Ingoldsby Legends."