BOB KENNEDY'S WIDOW-HUNT

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 144, 10 November 1870, Page 7

808 KENNEDY'S WIDOW-HUNT

Bt T. H S. Escott, Author of " Bob Kennedy's Canvas," &c.

(From " Belgravia" for July.)

" Frank, I'm somewhat of a stranger in a strange land. Be my guide, philosopher, and friend — my drawing-room directory — my social who's-who. In plain words, tell me who and what manner of people are here ; and if, as you say you must, you have to be off by the ten train tonight, be sharp about it ; for it wants only ten minutes of the half hour, and it's well to avoid creating an impression of unpunctuality at first."

The speaker was Mr. Eobert — better, perhaps, known to the readers of this periodical as Bob — Kennedy ; the scene, his dressing-room at Kingscourt, Major Jones G-ervase's country place, whither he had come to spend a week or two of the first month of autumn and to deal death and destruction to the Kingscourt partridges — the gentleman addressed, Captain Frank Colville, an intimate acquaintance of Bob's.

" Nothing particular," was Captain Colville's reply ; the usual business in these places just now. Don't fancy you will know any of the men down here. They are somewhat bucolical in their breeding ; short, straight enough, but provincial in character, very. One or two neatish girls, though, and a great thing in grass widows. Pretty? Well, so-so. Opulent and substantial ? Decidedly. Open to an engagement ? Very much so, I should think. Could you make the running with her ? My boy, look at yourself in the glass."

So far obeying his friend's injunction as to give a look of considerable complacence at himself in the glass, he proceeded to soliloquise ; " Bob my boy, who knows what may happen to you ? Do you not feel a kind of instinct that a career awaits you in the matrimonial way ? Nerve yourself, man, forget things ; and remember, ' adventurers are to the adventurous.' "

" I'll see if I can't manage that you shall take down the widow," whispered Capt. Colville to Bob almost immediately he entered the room.

" Name ?" whispered Bob in return ; but the Captain was gone. " Grood fellow that, thought Bob, as he saw his friend immediately afterwards talking to Mrs. Jones Gfervase, and then nodding his head in the direction of himself.

" Mr. Kennedy." said his host, just as dinner was announced, "let me introduce you to a very charming lady, whom perhaps you will escort downstairs. — Mrs. Merton, Mr. Kennedy."

And in a moment more this gentleman found himself duly installed as cavalier of a lady who fully answered to~ the Major's description, and completely responded to the Captain's ; for Mrs. Merton was more than passably pretty, she was absolutely handsome, conspieiously well-bred ; and the sombre hue of her black dress served, Bob thought, as an admirable relief to the alabaster white of a pair of faultless shoulders and the snowy glimpses of a perfect bust. Bob was only removed two or three places from Mrs. Jones Grervase; and just as they were sitting down, this lady was obliging enough to present him to his fair companion on his left side —Mrs. Merton sat on his right — Mrs. Lester. But Bob had quite enough to do with Mrs. Merton. Indeed, this lady struck our friend as a conclusive testimony fact, that the vidua matrona is preferable to the virgo nubilis. She had abundance to say, and she said it well. They had a whole stock of common acquaintances, and she certainly carried her calamity lightly. Indeed, it occurred to Bob, when she supplemented the information that Captain Colville knew her husband well in New Zealand with the subdued ejaculation, just accompanied with the faintest suspicion of a sigh, " Poor dear fellow !" that Mrs Merton was very far from inconsolable, however sincerly she - might mourn her loss. The scenery about Kingscourt, Bob was informed, was exquisite. There were some remarkable fine stalactite caves ; and Mrs. Merton, as she vouchsafed her companion this piece of intelligence, contrived to say soMething about her wish to see them ; and then the next moment about her present solitary positiou ; and then generally about the inconveniences of being alone in the world, with no lord and master to utilise lands for you, — which struck our friend as conceived, if not in the spirit of levity, still in that of suggestiveness.

Now lack of self-satisfaction was not at any time one of Mr. Kennedy's most conspicuous failings. There were some of his friends, or enemies, severe enough to say, that he monopolised so much of the good opinion of himself, as to leave scarcely any share for others. To-day he was decidedly disposed to take a more than usually cheerful view of matters. The world was sailing upon him— Mrs. Merton in particular. He was fresh from town, well postedup in all the latest items of gossip, and in most of those of scandal. The former he imparted to Major Jones Grervase's guests at large, the latter he reserved for Mlrs. Merton : a widow, it was one of the main articles in Bob's creed, likes this sort of thing ; in fact, to use his own expression, he was in great form that evening. The ladies withdrew, and Bob rattled on. "By Jove !" said Captain Colville, when talking of his gentleman's fluency of

discourse some two or three hours later, on his arrival in London, at the Deipnosophist, " Kennedy had so much to say, that no one else could get their oar in." There was the clergyman of the parish. Bob was great in ecclesiastical matters. Major Grervase was the squire. Bob shifted the theme to affairs of a more mundane description ; and then, to combine both characteristics and to please both gentlemen, Mr. Kennedy elaborated a little theory of his own, that parochial administration was but the miniature and reflex of a scheme of the national government; that the two secular and religious elements in our country's rule were symbolised here in this hamlet of Kingscourt as much as they were existent in the metropolis ; that the squire was the emblem and representative of the state, just as the parson was the embodiment of the church. This great truth comfortably elucidated and succinctly expressed, Bob was induced to try the Burgundy again, and launched forth into a genial discussion of the game-laws. The butler entered with a fresh bottle of that very excellet Chainbertin, to which a portion possibly of Mr. Kennedy's eloquence was attributable, ana also with an intimation that the dog-cart was waiting to convey Capt. Colville to the neighbouring station, that he might catch the night express to town. " Good-bye, Bob," was the parting speech of this gentleman, pitched iv a very judiciously low key. " You'll enjoy yourself here, I can see ; but don't forget the widow. She's a captial of more than £40,000; a splendid woman of business." Little fear, thought Bob.of forgetting ; and the retrospect which he took of the dinner was distinctly satisfactory. The progress, which he mentally reported to himself, was undeniably considerable ;he had made a hit, he ventured to think, aftd the only thing which remained was to follow it up. When Mr. Kennedy entered the drawing-room, Mrs. Jones Grervase motioned him to her side. She hoped he would like Kingscourt. It really was a good place enough in its way, though after London it must and would seem strangely dull. However, Mr. Kennedy must remember that he Avas in every way his own master, free to do whatever he wished, and wander whithersoever his own sweet fancy might lead him. Mrs. Grervase hoped too, he would find some not unpleasant companions. Mrs. Lester in particular, his next-door neighbour at dinuer, she could decidedly recommend ; but Bob paid little or no attention to the recommendation ; for his thoughts were where his eye was, and that was fixed upon the bright, witty, and sprightly widow, Mrs. Merton. Time wore away pleasantly enough at Kingscourt manor. The shooting was excellent ; and Bob Kennedy, not a little proud of his excellence as a shot, experienced considerable satisfaction in surpassing the native sportsmen of the district. The weather was delicious. The sky was scarcely flecked by a cloud, and the earth revelled in a largesse of golden sunshine- On through the leafy lanes they went ; the country was mellowed by the first autuinual hues ; and " through the golden stubble was heard the frequent gun." As Bob reflected on the whole situation, watched the beauty of the landscape, talked with Mrs. Merton on things in general, and on himself and herself in particular, he came to the conclusion that there were many things less tolerable in existence than to handle a pair of perfect horses, to be seated the while beside a charming woman without encumbrance and worth £40,000, and to be carried at a pace not inconveniently rapid through as pretty woodland* scenery as England possesses. The freshness of the air seemed infectious ; the sparkling of the dew on the pendant boughs of the larches reflected itself in the tone and general conversation. ' Bob • was in unusually good spirits, and Mrs. Merton was complimentary enough to say that his talk was brighter than usual. What a contrast to the brilliant sunshine of the open, the gloomy interior of these chilly caves ! — for they had reached them by this time, and the natty little groom . was holding the horses while the pair devoted themselves to the investigation of the abodes of stalactites, darkness, aud cold. An idea struck Bob Kennedy. Why not, by a felicitous application of a metaphor, make these point a moral and adorn a tale ? Something Mrs. Merton had told him this morning irarvellously reminded him of the change from brightness to gloom which they had just experienced. What was it? Mrs. Merton would so like to know. "Well, Mrs." replied the complimentary Bob, " your proposal, that we should visit the caves, removed the superincumbent chill upon my depressed soul, just as the sunshine does the dew" (a slight confusion of smiles here, thought Bob, but it doesn't matter) ; " and your intelligence immediately accompanying it, that it might be the last chance we should have, by suggesting to me the probability of our parting, fell as a damp upon me, even as the tempe.ature of this infernal" (Bob Kennedy had just brought his tibia into contact with a projecting angle of the rock, so that the expression may be in part pardoned) "cave." " Very prettily turned," replied Mrs. Merton ; " but you have a little bit

mistaken my meaning," she added, just with the slightest significance in her voice. " Mrs. Merton," said Mr. Kennedy, his key of badinage exchanged for one of earnestness, " if what I supposed is not the cause, pray tell me. If you will not tell me, there is at least something which I might tell — " " Ah, Kennedy," said a cheery voice kindly, "I didn't knowyou wcrejso fond of prying into the viscera of the earth." "My luck again,' muttered Bob to himself, and looking round, he saw the rubicund countenance of Major Grervase. " Sly dog," whispered the old officer to him as they stepped out on to the sunlit sward once again ; " knew 'twas your last chance, didn't you, now ?" Bob had no opportunity to reply, but he did soliloquise in a few sentences to himself. " What the devil does it all mean ? That sudden appearance of the Major was not at all a bad apology for her celestial highness pronuba Juno." During the return journey, Major Jones Grervase insisted upon keeping up with the phtaeton the whole way ; consequently all chances of reopening the conversation at the interesting point at which it had been interrupted were destroyed. Bob Kennedy was not in a good humor. It is annoying when you are out shooting to see your fiual vesuvian fail you in endeavoring to strike a light for your pipe. It is not less annoying, when you are iv country quarters,^ beyond the reach of effervescing fluids, to discover that just as yo-ir parched throat was panting for cognac and seltzer, the last bottle of that refrigerating and refreshing alkaline compound has brust in your cupboard. Tantalus doubtless experienced a good deal of discomfort at the disgusting resistance which the fugitive water offered to his thirstcracked lips. But it may be questioned whether any of these tortures are more excruciating than the fact of being pulled up short when the accents of a declaration of passion are trembling on your lips. And this was precisely Bob's condition at the present time. In course of the homeward drive, however, his ruffled feelings regained something of their normal tranquility ; aucl when, as she contrived to do, Mrs. Merton whispered to him as they came up the hall door at Kingscourt manor, "Mr. Kennedy, if you should happen to be walking in the rose-garden to-morrow morning before breakfast, say from 8.30 to 9.30, you might see me, and have an opportunity, if you like to use it, of finishing your speech to me," — Bob, charmed with Mrs. Merton's Anglo-Indian candour of manners, had completely recovered his equilibrium. Nay, as he dressed that evening for dinuer, he not only came to the conclusion that the game was on the cards, but he was even great on the subject of special providences. "Slow drags the time till parting lovers meet." The morning, however, came. Mr. Kennedy was scrupulously careful about his personal appearance, and though by no means an early riser as a rule, was up and stirring betimes. Before half-past eight had chimed from the stable clock our hero was in the rose-garden : a more lovely scene for such a purpose, fancied Bob, could not be imagined. Where was Mrs. Merton ? A gradual bend in the grass walk gave him a glimpse of a breezy muslin dress. It was Mrs. Merton's. " Hold up, my heart, be strong," was Bob's prayer. A few steps more, and he Avas brought face to face with the owner. Yes Mrs. Merton indeed it was ; but not alone. By her side there walked a gentleman, tall, stalwart, of military air, bronzed by the sun, and with the dust of travel not yet shaken off from bis dress One step more, and before he could recover from his surprise, Mrs. Merton had said, " Mr. Kennedy, let me introduce you to my husband, Colonel Merton." Of course Bob bowed. Neither did he give any violently evident signs of his feelings: but after the first few words of greeting had passed, and Colonel Merton had informed him that he had justj ust returned from New Zealand, and thai in consequence of the fortunate coincidence of trains and coaches he bad arrived at Elingscourt a full two hours before he had expected, Bob retired. Angry naturally he was. For once our friend's equanimity entirely forsook him. What the devil did Colville mean about his widow ? Why the deuce had Major Jones Grervase and Mrs. Grervase allowed him to make such a confounded fool of himself? and why had Colville written to him as be did? He would let them know what he thought ; and ringing for his servant, he was on the point of telling him to pack up, and of writeing a note to Major Grervase announcing his sudden departure, and combining a pretty vehement denunciation of the whole affair, when a note was brought him. It was from Mrs. Merton. Would Mr. Kennedy come and see her for a few minutes in the rose-garder ? He went, surcharged with vituperations, and primed with an intelligibly bitter wrath. " Mr. Kennedy," began Mrs. Merton, let me anticipate all that you would say. The night you first too'c me down to dinner you mistook me, I know, for Mrs. Lester, the widow worth £40,000. I did not know it at the time, and I only learnt it a few •days ago in a letter from Frank Colville. Now confess, Mr. Kennedy, you like me, I daresay. But would you have

liked me, had it not been for the £40,000 which you associated with me ? Well enough to tell me what you were going to tell me yesterday ? Don't be augry, Mr. Kennedy, there is no harm done. If you have been cured of widowhunting, you will have rather cause for gratitude. You, I am sure, are ueartwhole as ever ; and if I did not undeceive you for a couple of days, if I allowed matters to remain as they were, — was my joke a malicious one ? was it not rather a case of diamond cut diamoud ? That is no reason why we should not be friends. Nay, rather it is a reason why we should be. Had it not been for the mistake into which you fell on the first night that we met, you might have committed a much more serious blunder. You might have even made the proposal, that you had screwed yourself up to making to me yesterday, to Mrs. Lester, and then what a false position, had she accepted you, you would you have been in ! — for that City gentleman who dined with us yesterday brought us the intelligence, that in some railway speculations — and Mrs. Lester is a notorious railway gambler — she lost almost every sixpence that she possessed. Say, how would it have- been then ? Perhaps it is well, it is not ? You foi'give me any thoughtlessness of mine in the last few days ? You know, we wives of Indian oflicers on absence enjoy certain little presumptive privileges, and these are of them. As for the meeting b jtween myself and my husband, it was, as he told you, purely accidental. He was not expected till noon, and he was here at eight. Shake hands, and let us be friends. At least I have spared you Mrs. Lester and penury."

Bob Keunedy took the proffered hand. Nettled he was for the moment, and to a certain extent annoyed he is with Major Grervase now. But when any of his friends at the Deipnosophist -announce their intention of going in for a widow, he never fails to give them the warning of his own experience.

" I was foiled by a flirt ; but I was also saved by her," he winds up. "Sic me ser vault Apollo."