"DIMMER OH!"

Tuapeka Times, Volume II, Issue 85, 25 September 1869, Page 6

"DIMMER OH!"

"The only good fellow," says a French proverb, "is the fellow who giyes one a good dinner ; " and I for one heartily endorse this expression of G-allic wisdom. The truth, is, we English, Scotch, Irish, Yankees, Cornstalks, G-umsuckers, and Colonials in general are lamentably behind the civilized world in our appreciation of that noble leader of the fine arts — cookery. You grin at my elevating cookery to the rank of a fine art ? Nothing more could be expected from a barbarian who is immeasurably behind even the Homeric heroes in the great gastronomic art. Messrs. Achilles, Ajax — who, by the way, was an accomplished slaughterman — Agamemnon, and the rest, eat their food roasted in a sensible and savoury manner, and certainly did not indulge in greasy stews, smacking of tallow and rancid fat, or in musty-flavoured bakes cooked in a' miserable camp oveiu Every one knows the result, how yonr antique hero could kill a bullock with a straight left-hander, and eat the greater part of the carcase afterwards; while our modern gallants are sadly troubled With dyspepsy, and spend half their time under the care of Dr. Bluepill. The consequences of this j continued neglect of our palates are j awful to contemplate. History tells of national disasters occasioned by the indigestion of a potentate ; yet we persist in pursuing our evil courses — ruining our constitutions and our tempers, neglecting one of the most delightful and refined modes of pleasure, and entailing endless misery on our pi'ogeny, all because the sublime i art of cookery is considered beneath the notice of a male specimen of the human- species. I know I injure myself by the avowal ; I feel confident it will be generally whispered that Muggins has fallen from his high estate ; yet, once for all, I frankly confess that dinner is a subject of much more importance to me than the political leanings of the Maori king, the last manoeuvre of the squatocracy, or even than the latest change in the shape of chignons. I cannot for the life of me discover why poetry, music, and painting, which appeal to the senses of sight and hearing, should be treated with so much greater respect than the arc which is dependent on the sense of taste. The value of any art is, if lam not very far at sea, the amount of pleasurable feeling it can excite, and tried by this standard what rival can cope with the art of the table. You who have dined, who on some occasion really attended the performance of some great master of the pots and pans, can testify to the intellectual character of the enjoyment. You can tell how the great artist led you up through charming pastoral of cool crisp vegetables, through burning lyrics fresh from the saucepan, pungent epigrams that a moment ago were broiling on the gridiron, to his magnum ojpus, the epic crown of that magnificent poem of the palate mortals call by the name of dinner." If it has ever been your fortune to sit at such a feast, you will remember how the. cunning master played upon your soul — how, by one course, he drew out whatever humour there was in your composition, till you actually found yourself uttering bons mots ; how, in another, he probed the depths of your noture, and by a change of dishes secured the triumph of sentiment. He carried your mind to the pleasant shores of ocean, where the salt breeze fanned your temples and the crisping wavelets broke upon the sand, and where, oh apotheosis of gastronomic sublimity ! the succulent oyster is fitted to appear in the company of gourmands. With every dish, or wine, a new landscape was unfolded to your mind's eye ; and finally, -when all was over, you left the scene, at peace with yourself and all the world. Some happy mortals dine thus 365 times a year, and in leap year once more into the bargain ; but alas, you and I, dear reader, were born without silver spoons, and must hold ourselves fortunate for an occasional peep into Elysium. But though Luculius does not invite us daily, to his board, we may always enjoy the dinner hour in our own humble style. Everybody hasn't the luck to go to Corinth, but nearly every one can o;o to Dunedin.

And now I am going to be practical and 1 intensely serious. I address myself to miners because they are the class who suffer most from bad cooking. Many of them cannot afford to devote two or three hours daily for the preparation of dinner, and to these I have a word of counsel and comfort. Know, then, my unfortunate coldmeat consuming friends, that there is an ingenious apparatus known as the Norwegian Cooking Box," which will enable you to have a hot dinner daily, without being at any additional trouble. The apparatus, is of very simple construction, and can be maije by anyone at a very trifling expense. It consists of a small wooden box with a tightly-, fitting lid, lined inside— lid and all — with thick, layers of felt.' It must be shaped into a tight fit for the pot OP billy, and this done you are independent of long-haired mates -for. the restof your natural existence. In the,| morning you get up and .light the fire, j and having resolved ttf ' have a bpiled leg. of mutton (say) for dinner, you pni the pot containing the mutton on the fire, and by the time breakfast is over; find it boiling merrily. . Ton must leave it to boil for .three jqr.four and tbeii, osesinjgj^lie' esott-

ing box, pop in the pot and clap close the lid, and be off to your work. 3Tour or five hours after, when you return cold, wet, and weary, you have only to open the box and remove the pot, and behold, your joint has in your absence been cooked to perfection, and is quite as hot as if it had just left the fire. The explanation of this is, that felt is a non-conductor of heat, and thus the meat is kept gently simmering until its hungry proprietor is ready to dispose of it. But a man cannot live on boils alone, and, in addition to the cooking box, I should recommend every one to add a good cooking book to his library. As a man can work better, and enjoys better health and temper when fed onwoll-cooked meat, I it is a paying speculation to devote a | little attention to this matter. Cookery books may not, however, be accessible to every one, so I append a few plain recipes for the benefit of. miners, &c, whose conveniences are of a limited nature : —

I. Pot au Mv. — An excellent soup. A pound and and a half of beef, cut in three pieces ; mixed green vegetables, according to taste ; a tea spoonful of sugar, of salt, and of pepper ; add three pints of water ; and after it has boiled, leaAe for four hours in the cooking box; slcim,. dish, and thank heaven for a good dinner. 11. Potatoe Pie. — Peel or slice the potatoes very thin into a dish, and between each layer of potatoes put an onion and a small piece of beef, pork, or mutton ; cover over with a flour or potatoe paste, and either bake or boil in a cloth. 111. Lobscous. — Cut the cold meat into fine pieces; chop the bones and. put them in a saucepan, Avith a few potatoes sliced, and peeled, and onion, salt, pepper, and water, q.s. Stew until the potatoes are thoroughly soaked with the gravy, then add the meat, and allow to simmer for an hour An irreverent wag has said that cold mutton is horribly insipid — like kissing one's sister, in fact. I don't think a dinner of cold mutton treated -as above will be complained of on the score of insipidity. IV. Something If ice. — Cut rather fat ham or bacon into thin slices ; fry brown, and lay aside to keep warm ; then mix potatoes aud cabbage in equal proportions ; bruise them and fry them in the ham fat ; put the bacon on the top, and enjoy your supper. V. An Eatable Stew! — Slic& and peel potatoes enougK to serve ; Like mutton chops, q.s., and remove the tallowy fat ; a slice or two of bacon, a few onions, popper and salt to suit | taste. This stew can eithei' bo cooked in the box or in an earthenware pot placed close to the fire. "When you eat, you will know why hotel-made stews disagree with you.

VI. Bread Pudding. — Bread, two ounces ; milk, half a pint ; one egg ; su<^ar, quarter of an ounce. Cut the bread into slices and pour the milk over it boiling hot, and stir in the egor and sugar well beaten ; bake or steam for an hour. ' There you aro, half a dozen dishes easily made, and cheap, yet both wholesome and. savoury. Had I the space I could glean half a. hundred similar recipes from any cookery book, along with many more elaborate and fancy delicacies, which ■ only require a little more trouble. I earnestly recommend every miner to ponder deeply what has already been said, and learn to husband his health and strength by giving his stomach fair play v Truly has Prior said : — Was everT artar fierce or cruel Who fed his ' Strength on water gruel ? But who can stand his rage and force When first he rides then eats his horsa ? When great Achilles would employ The strength destined to ruin Troy, With lion's marrow was he fed, On toasts of ammunition bread. And if I read Dan Chaucer right, Jfuddings andlpeef make Britton's fight. Bravo, Mat Prior ; you at any rate appreciated the importance of diet.