ORIGINAL TALE

Tuapeka Times, Volume I, Issue 40, 14 November 1868, Page 6

ORIGINAL TALE

' ; THE CAPTAIN'S MUTTON. ; "Away down Bouta in Dixfo^ 1 is 'very nice to Bing, butjiol so pleasant { whfen you're part of a whipped army with 70>D0(r Johnnies on jowjsftx^' Such was the pli^lit. of Magellan's r army in 1862, and I had the misfortune of forming a unit of its demoralized mass. Thel five .great "battles had been fought and lost, and we were in full retreat to the shelter of our gunboats. I belonged to a rather crack corps which was unfortunate enough to form part of the rear-guard. I have often seen naming descriptions of the pleasure and glory of a soldier's life written by men who never smelt powder, but the reality is very different. You are badly fed, and worked harder than a navvy for less pay, with the additional chance of being shot. So my readers may well believe I have had enough of it, and don't mean to volunteer for the North Island; no, sirree, once bit/ twice shy. Zachaxy Quince was my right hand file and^worn comrade, and a gay old boy he was. A regular Hoosier, raised in the backwoods, active as a painter, and smart as a dozen down-casters. We had another mate when we joined our regiment, poor Dick Oldhairi,- but a rebel bullet played him out,- and he died in our arms wit'a the name of " the girl he left behind him" on his lips. Poor fellow ! his was a sad story, and some day or other I may tell it in the columns of the Taajpeka Times. "Well, as I told you, we were executing a strategic movement backwards,, aud pi'etty hard work it was. The commissariat department had disappeared, and for two days we had to depend on plunder for our tucker. Not much to depend on, considering wo were the rearguard, and some sixty thousand hungry fellows had gone over fie same ground before. On no man did this tell more than on our Captain, a regular jolly little brick, better at concocting a mint julep than leading men. Ho was a round, fat, oily dapper fellow, standing some five feet nothing in his boots, and was famous for his love of good living.- "We were, sitting one evening smoking our pipes, when we saw our noble Captain coming putting alon£ with a quarter of mutton on his shoulder, the result of a successful fray on somebody's lardpr. " Look there, Jim," said Zach, " if I don't collar- that jint before morning, I'm no better than a nigger." " Eight you are, old" man," said I, " and we'll ask the Cap to dine with us." Unseen by our victim, we followed him to the place where he had spread his blanket, and watched him conceal his precious prize under a heap of leaves and "moss. Nijjht came, and Zach and I crept towards our sleeping officer; but our disgust may be imagined when we found- tbe cute old dodger had gone to sleep lying across the grave of his mutton. This rather disarranged our plans, but Zach was quite equal to the occasion. He directed j me to Ug down alongside the Captain, j aud grab the plunder whenever he stirred. I had not lain very long before I hcar,d several pistol shots, and Zach shout " The rebs are upon us, look alive boys, look alive ! " ' The noise might have awakened the dead, so you may be sure it was not long in alarming the Captain. Disturbed in the most of pleasant dreams of white sauce and capers, or juicy harrico, ho sprang up and skedaddled like a green- • horn when ho hears a rattlesnake. I had the field to myself, and in a few moments Zach ancl I were admiring our prize. The alarm, I need hardly say, proved a false one ; and great were the lamentations of the poor Captain when he discovered his loss. All the ngxt day he marched along in a dejected and downcast manner, evidently thinking of his lost mutton. We pitied him so, Zach accosted him. " Hello, Cap ; got anything good for dinner to-diy ? " i: No, Zach, no, only a biscuit,!' said the officer, almost affected to tear 3. •" Taat's bad, old man," continued Tasii. " Now, Jim and I have been in luck, an-1 sacked the finest piece of veal you evsr clapped eyes on. Come and hava a bite of it wben wo halt." Tae Captain jumped at the offer, and as soon as a halt was called we kindled a fire and soon cooked the mutton. Our guest was not long in making his appearance, and brought a bottle of branly with him as a contribution to the feast. The grub was served out, and tho Captain carried a choice morsel to his lips. "Whenever he tasted the meat, a dubious look came over his face, and h.3 exclaimed : " Dura you, you skunks, if your_yeal ain't my mutton!" The roar of.laut^or which followed showed him how ho had been sold, and he was far too good-natured a soul not to acknowle^ge^be The story, spread, and puVau the" itbys in good humour, as thenJofamies found to theirj v^hQUj ; §aorfcl^ c aftf| i 4lj.eyT trie<J .tostampede us. ', , ? \ '._. ' " ,

Dr. Franklm mcQjamea^Bra young man in €he cn9><3^s!&fk wifk^to select her.fi'oni'a humftifgfnncr as his reason that when taere are many claaarhterS emulation acquire more accomplish■msnts, rend know more, and do more than a siajln cHild spoiled by parental ift>alnr*^. Tiii is a "omfoi'fc to poople I ?>Jea33d with a lai-ge fd-miiy f