ORIGINAL TALE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume I, Issue 34, 3 October 1868, Page 6

ORIGINAL TALE.

A FENIAN CONSPIRACY.

Extensive travel affords us many an insight into the inner life of our fellow men. On board ship tho tongues of all are unloosened,- and each person strives to aid in the destruction of the common enemy, Time. It may seem strange for a loyal British subject to head an ~ article as I have done -, but I tell tho following tale as 'twas told to mo. I met the narrator on board the steamship Evening Star, bound from New York to New Orleans, and was attracted to court .his society by observing tho cool audacity with which he quelled a noisy southern bully, who had made himseu disagreeable to all on board. Wo soon became good friends; and Tom White spun the following yarn for my edification as we steamed along tho coast of North Carolina. ' • " Well, sir, you know I'm an Englishman born, but I'vo wandered and fought for so many different countries, that I have hardly any feeling to one country more than another. I was in Texas and Florida ; crossed the Eocky Mountains with Eremont; went into Nicaragua with Walker; and acted bush-whacker for a while. When the war broke out I was not long of volunteering. No, siree, I never did jump the bounty. I like plunder wher it's fairly fought for; but darn' the sneaking cusses who'll steal but dare not fight. Well, I fought all through, and got a captain's commission, and but for Jersey lightning might have | been a general. I was a favorite with the boys, who called me Fighting T<, _n, and would have followed me to the Devil if I only led the way. The end of the war saw me discharged with five thousand greenbacks in my pocket; and as long as the stamps held out I went the pace — yes, sir, I did. It took four years to make the pile ; and four weeks saw me walking up Eultonstrcet, New York, with my last dollar m my pouch. I had been mustered out in November, and it was January when I got stumped, and the cold was a caution to all the snakes in Virginny. A-dollar ain't much for a fellow to feed and board himself on, and I was just debating the question of no bed and a good feed, or coffee and cakes and a four-bit shakedown, in the Erankforfc House, when I heftrd some person exclaim, ' Hello, 4j!ap ! ' I turned and found myself face to face with Pat O'G-rady, ex-lieutenant inmy company. If Pat wae astonished- to -see me with shabby coat and holed boots, I was' no less amazed to see him^dressed with white apron, lounging at the door of a coffee and cake saloon. Our mutual explanations did not take long. Pat had managed to end his burst before all the shin-plasters were done, and with these savings had purchased a stand in the Fulton Market, where he was making no end of a pile. He heard my story, and to my astonishment seemed* 1 rather pleased than otherwise at my sad plight. He took' me in, and I soon had "recruited my inner man with a smoking plate of butter-cakes and a mug of coffee, " tightly laced." When I was pretty well crowded, Pat took me home with him, and proceeded to tell me of a slant to make my pile. " 'You've heard the Fenian Brotherhood?' asked Pat.

" { They be blowed ! ' said I 'John Bull will die of old age if he's got to be killed by them.' " ' That's neither here nor there, old man. I'm a head centre ; and to tell you the truth, it's a better paying business than the coffee and cakes,' rejoined O'G-rady with a sly wink. '"'" ' Swindling poor Biddy and Mike, out of tlieir hard-earned wages,' said I. 'I'm stumped, and a rough cuss' at that, but I'll be darned if I can do it.' " ' Who asked you ? ' was his retort. 'But, to tell the truth, we've gassed so muchi and done so little, that we've got to make a show somewhere, ! and have planned a little expedition, ! which only needs a good leader to be i a great success.' : ' ! " v So, you want me to test the strength of an English rope for the sake of keeping your little swindle afloat. I guess not, old man.' | " ' Listen and hear what I have got to tell you. The porter of the ' Bank, Montreal, is one of the brotherhood, and from his information we know of a couple of million Government money to be lodged there. He has got master keys for every lock on the premises ; and all we. want you to do is to go there, grab the plunder, and 1 clear out as fast as norses' legs can carry you for the frontier. All preparations for concealing and/ carrying away the hoot have been made ; and it strikes me the first man on Look-out Mountain has done heavier jobs in his time.' • ? ' ' Well, Pat, the biz does not look so fishy now you explain it and ' \vith some of my own boys might be rushed off right, away.' '"That's easily fixed. Nearly all the boys "are loafing round, ready^for a slant,' said O'G-rady "What will not a man with an empty ' pocket undertake? My not very rigorous virtue . yielded to the tempter; and after some negotiations I found myself the proud possessor of, "a commission aa " (General in the Irish RepubKcan army, andr Com-mander-in-Chief of the forces in Canada ! " I soon collected a force of picked men — .regular rirtg-tailed roarers — and in accordance with' my

instructions started for Niagara, where I was to Avait for further instructions. A good roll of greenbacks was handed to clear expenses, and off we started by tho York Central cars. We took a week to reach our destination, owing to the splendid quality of tho whisky sold at Oneida Junction and Bochostcr. We arrived, however, and took our quarters at tho York Hotel, where wo eagorly Availed for the order which would send us kcr-slap on the top of tho Canucks. Niagara ain't much of a place to spend time at. There's a tolerable Avatcr power there, but they havn't got machinery as yet, so there ain't very much to look at. That durncd whirlpool nearly wiped mo out though. You see, tho water at tho top was thick frozen to within a few fcot of tho side, and tho big icecake Avenl round and round liko clockwork. A quick jump put me aboard, and also drovo it further from tho bank. Swimming was no good ; and hadn't one of ike boys been protty handy Avith the lasso I'd havo been twisting round there to the <ky of Judgment. That very night, as we were having a big drink in honor of my escape, a telegram camo, ordering our return. The Britishers had been too smart, so tho bank porter Avas pinned, and mado to confess all, and if a warm reception Avaen't made ready for us it's a caution. So I roturnod and threw up my commission ; and now you sec me on* my Avay to Mexico, to fight Maximilian and the Erench."

" But," said I, " supposing you had plundered tho bank, what would you have done." '

" That's hard to tell, stranger," Avas hia reply ; " one thing is certain : the E.B. would have made durncd little by the transaction."

My acquaintance's candor hardly met its proper reward. I own that for the rest of the voyage I fought shy of so very unscrupulous a gentleman.