BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 237, 28 March 1885, Page 12

BRIEF MENTION

Did the Caucasians play out the natives at the Wade races ?

A number of paragraphs are unavoidably held over until our next issue.

Lynch law — The present administration of the Licensing Act by some of the Committees.

There has been trouble at the North Shore betw-een the Dock-boys and the would-be jara-tarts about some of the girls of the district, and a few black eyes have been seen lately. So far it seems that the Dockers have the best of it.

A Maori greaser in the Governor Browne fell into a slight mistake the other day. Going by accident into the wrong room, he observed on the dressing-table what in his untutored innocence he supposed to be hair oil, and hastily plastered his hair with it. It transpired on subsequent examination, however, that it was cod-liver oil.

There are some ■unmitigated cads in Auckland. While Remenyi was giving his farewell performance on Tuesday evening, a fine sample of this genus deliberately walked the whole of one side of the dress-circle with his hands in his pockets, and stamped down the steps. The thing was all the more glaringly vulgar because His Excellency the Governor was present.

A well-dressed lady met with a terrible accident in getting or-, board the Lutterworth at the volunteer reception. Something caught the back of her dress improver, and in a moment all her stern gear was split. The gallant and sympathising Barry was, hpwever, promptly on hand with pins, and the damages were temporarily repaired. During this operation the lady's face would have formed a study for one versed in the science of chromatics.

Observer chap down the wharf in conversation with Captain Fenton and Mr W. J. Hurst. F. asks: " What's the Rotomahana stopping for ?'" "Waiting for the doctoi 1 ," says W. J. H. Of course, ho meant waiting for DriPhilson to pass her. Observer chap chips in, "I thought they always docked her down at Dunedin." Hurst glares a stoney glare ; Fenton didn't see it either ; and Observei! chap, having tried it on several friends without effect, came up here and wrote it down. If any man sees it now he can call up and let us know.

The editor of that funeral publication, " The Bit o' Blue," had a lively experience the other night. In fact, he was getting a bit o' blue in his eye, mixed with green and black. An inquiring friend called at the City Hotel, where he resides, and wanted to see him — wanted to see him bad. Result, not at home. The friend, who seems to have been very solicitous about ' ' The Bit o' Blue's " health, grew importunate, and finally planted himself till his quarry ap peared on the scene. Then matters became lively. The caller wanted something, which was not forthcoming ; rough words ensued ; the friend, in the warmth of his affection, let out at " The Bit o' Blue," who responded ■with a chair, finally, in the struggle, lugging out about two years' growth of the -friend's whiskers, and effectiug a judicious retreat, while the enemy was in confusion. The latter now declares that it was all a "Bit o'Do."

Office boy, cleanup the fragments, let the "bull-dog have the choicest bits, and throw the balance into the dust-box. Softly, lad, chain the dog before you try to pick up those quivering masses of lately deceased humanity. There, wipe the club and sprinkle sawdust on those darkling stains. So ! He came in smiling with his evil eye (we say eye in the singular advisedly, because the other was a wall'un, which gave an added air of " gallusness" to his otherwise strongly expressive features). He sidled up to our desk with a suspicious looking sheet of paper in his hand, and asked us to read ' ' a little skhit I have jest wurruked off." We innocently took it from, his talons, and after gazing on it for a • space, sighed and asked him to read it. (We sighed, because we could mot but feel sorry for him, knowing how soon he had to die.) After a struggle, during which he said he'd *' be dam'd but he cud harredly rade it hini--silf," he got it out. One verse will suffice to satisfy any jury in the land, if his remains are ever unearthed from the dust bin, that his end was a justifiable homicide. He had evidently just come from the wharf, and had seen the sogers and heard the strains of " British Grenadiers " ; and this is how it moved him. Poor man ! N/o more will music and red coats arouse the latent luney in his buzum — he is gone ! (drop a tear here, comp., please. ) After a moment's thought we have decided to give this hymn full publication, to let people who wonder at the care which invests our classic features have some idea as to what brings.it there. This is it : — POME SUGESTED BI SEIN TIIE SOGERS DOWN THE WAKFE OK MONDAY BY A KEEL WAXIER. 0 were you down on the warf for to see Our heros who konkered the South, At a moinint's warning they are able to give The Roqsins a slap on the mouth. New Zealand can boast, you see, > Of men who can fill each redoubt ; They_only..want the general's command To strike. and give the invaders the rout. °Osman Dignan will shiver and shake And the Mahdi will trembell, you know, "When they hear that New Zealand has sent ><-" -Her army, which will give the last blow.

A seedy-looking individual, who had just been ejected from a neighbouring pub., on St.- Patrick's Day, was observed standing outside the National Bank, with his hands in his pockets, regarding the notice, " closed," with a melancholy visage. A sympathetic bystander, who thought the man looked hungry, asked, "Anything the matter ?" " Nothing p'tickler," replied the individual thus addressed, "only its just my luck. Here's the bloomin' bank a gone an' closed, just as I was about to withdraw my overdraft." The sympathetic interrogator left.