THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 163, 27 October 1883, Page 12

THE COUNTRY

Fxat Bush. — Why did Sam disappoint, that young lady ? Do the young ladies go to Ness Valley in order to see the belltbpper ? Whangarei. — Blue Belle has gone to Auckland. R. has come to reside in Whangarei again, Kamo was to far from his inamorato The Dutch captain does thela-di-dah to perfection., Waiboa South. — Who was the old joker that escorted the two girls from church? There's life in the old boy yet When will Mrs H. tar and feather W. ? Sarah will be delighted when she gets to Tuakau. Mangafai.— Sam says he sold David more than the pony MacC. will don the Blue Was it Sam who said our girls never clean their teeth. If he keeps on repeating the statement he will stand a chance o£ losing his own. Te Mata. — Men are very scarce here when they have to get women to stand on a committee There is to be a great dance at Ruapuke in a" short time Old P. should be careful the next time he says anything about Mrs M.'s pets. Cobomandel. — One of the small scandals, of this place is the frequent clandestine -visits of a young lady to the house of a certain bachelor. He is a bright and shining light among the Wesleyans, and ought to set an example of pror priety. Whangaboa North. — Jamie chalked his gloves to hide the dirt atH.'s birthday party Agnes says Jimmy is a gentleman. How can a anob be a gentleman P H^ boasts how well she carries her age ! She don't paint..;... Cannot the doctor and Dick find other employment on Sundays without playing pitch and toss. Kamo. — A sight for all. The pompous little M.C. dancing with the widow at the tradesman's ball Dan has evidently cooled his heels to some purpose at the Pigeon Box. He and Lizzie looked very happy leading the little one on Sunday last. The 'fact that Dan acted as M.C. at the jam-tart dance has evidently given him courage. Poliok.— The bachelors of Sand Hill have gone into general mourning since the sisters have left..i...J. H. is broken-hearted since Lizzie has thrown him up...... 1 wonder if B. Or. has got the watch-guard made of a young lady's hair? Conspicuous amongst the attendants at the dance on Thursday was the interesting young storekeeper. It was too bad of him to monopolise the lady in gray the whole evening. Raglan.— The Doll has reUirned. High time, too, after slaughtering 700 flics in so short a space of time Mrs M. receives 500. Keep the bar better stocked When is the opening dance to come off in the new room? The H.V. will resound once more with its old familiar songs. Young men, roll up...... A5k old B. why he will not give a dance. Plenty of tin Does our Jack still chew straws ? Tauranga. — That verdant youth at the Post Office ought to. take a few lessons in riding before again escorting young ladies out Adelaide E. looked farming in a black velvet body with cream shirt at the Tambour Major's danco last ■week The. caretaker of the library should keep'his displays of temper for the privacy- of his family 1 hear that Harry F. is about to become a Church of England minister. • Tami Tami (Totaba).— The " Majah " wants the game laws so mended that his " Sawdustoeratships " can shoot without a license Since the wild pigs were all eaten the Improvement Class condemns cannibalism The County Chairman i called a public meeting to agitate for a new road (not to repair the old one), and the repeal of the j game law (as far as the licenses are concerned) . j What will the *' Majah " do if the Counties Act I is hung up? . j Pukekohe. — Who was the young lady that 1 made an offer of marriage to Willie ? And why did he not accept it? The Pukekohe masher says he is a great man if the people OLiy knew it. Sam says he can get jiYTother if the shoemaker takes Minnie aw'ATy 'from him The jockey has given Ma^gte'the cold shoulder, and taken the elder sister-/. Lizzie is al way singing, "Why art. Thou silent and sad love ? " Ojve'te.--How about the elopement at Te J%£ata ? Such things ought to be kept quieter... ' The Waitetuna girls hope there may be a native disturbance. Their spooning with the A.C. is the object in view, being tired of country bumpkins, and wanting a change What young lady and gentleman were picking the goose at 5 o'clock in the morning in the back kitchen? What a lucky fellow H. J. is ! He can have the pick of four young ladies for the asking. Ouehunga. — Who was the mean man that took two young ladies to the concert last Thursday, aud left one to pay for herself ? Could he not borrow enough to pay for both ? Ask Iv . was it the Doricer Billy has donned the blue ribbon The Jehu and milliner are in sympathetic accord The poor Chinee, although well up in heathen mythology, is very deficient in politeness. He gave a striking proof of this at the late concert Is it true Sam is about to tie the. fatal knot ? Pakmure. — Was Andy so excited as to forget his umbrella in the house under the mountain, or did he want an excuse to return for it ? Charlie, mind, or you will bo losing, the fair queen of Panmure Who is that, young sailor whose photograph Polly carries close to her heart ? Jack B has his horse in training for the Hunt Club Meeting.. ,...Bose is in mourning since Johnny took to the sea Ask Walter P. about the fowl .house?....;. Louisa went away, but could not stop long on account of the pigs. Otaiiuhu.— Why did the Panmure Rooster get jealous of the Chapel-street Dot at the recent concert ? Who was the young lady of Chapelstreet that was amusing herself on the bicycle opposite the local draper's? Beware, A J.K. ■contemplates taking the final leap into the bands •of matrimony, after the New Year. Bravo, John. ..;;... The Tallow-man pays great attention to the house-maid of Parnell ; it is too bad, Bill, to keep hbr on a string so long It is a pity G. and K;B. don't go to town every Saturday more regularly to see the two youths residing in Pwra#ll

Mercukt Bat.— Poor Warren is about to leave the Bay. What will our girls do? T. C. says that C. shall not be an old maid ; not if he kuows it E. says she enjoyed the row very much, only it was rather short. Nyum-nyum !... ...The, last paragraph in a former issue was rather too much to the point for Leonard..... ,. Jessie is wishing fora fresh to bring down Harry's legs Minnie says it is like their cheek to want to know when she is. going to run in double harness with Charley. He says, wait and see... ...The large umbrella ordered in town' is now finished. It is intended pro bono publieo at all future cushion dances in the Bay. Helens ville. — What was Emma doing on the top of Flood's staircase on Saturday night last? Look out, Frank, old man, or the "fully. developed baby" will take the running Poor little Willy wanted a ride on the engine from the station to the sawmill. He- got on the engine during the absence of its driver, but. when the naughty driver returned, instead of obliging, he brought poor little Willy to his level by taking him by the neck and introducing his binder quarters to the hard ground of thn Hdunsvilie station *' Lions should have pity on mice Ihe Helensville ponies, " Joe and Kute," arc shortly going to run in double harness. Kate goes freely, but Joe requires the curb. Go it, Joe, the other two girls were not Grreen enough for you. Te Abai.— Tom say he wants the housekeeper before he get the house Who were the three young ladies T. was escorting along the road the other night? Is not one enough, old boy ?...... Wanted to know, what were the boys doing in the school the other night? Why didn't Frank go to that dance ? M. expected yon, dear boy George dear, why did you let Dan take Clara home ? Bob sports a new belltopper When are the three weddings to take place? Fine times then, boys !...'• Ask T. J. if he has bought the ring ?...*. .Ask Charlie how he made such a mistake in going to Hotea North ? Bob looked quite bewildered in that far-off land. Was Gertie not there? J. and M. were pacing the school ground on Tuesday. Are they going to build in the paddock ? Carpenters will have good wages. Kaitaia. — While some people go on the spree with alcoholic drinks, others do so with teetotal drink. There is a man here who goes on the spree with two bottles of pickles when .he gets a stroke of good luck Why did the owner of the schooner circulate the report that the steamer was not going to. run any longer? Surely it was not to get freight for a pleasure boat. The steamer people insist that she will continue to run, and that there was no foundation for the imaginative twaddle of the Duke Why does ouv Chairman have to go to Mangonui previous to a meeting ? Is it to sip the Lome in the back room, or to get a lesson? The Cat and a Rat made a compact, but the Tiger walked in and nibbled the prey by getting that horse, and now the Cat mewes (muses) over the loss of the bawbees, and the pleasure he would have had in serving but the Bat for old scores. Let brotherly love continue ! Napibr. — On the wharf at Napier, on the departure of the steam launch for the Rmgarooma for the Northern ports, sounds of weeping and lamentations, and waving and wringing of pockethandkerchiefs by about two dozen females of all ages, averaging from 16 up to 20. It was the/ departure of the much-beloved T.H. for Gissh-Orne. Great is the bereavement to the Napier ladies ; much will he be missed and lamented over in the halls ot song, the church choir, the Musical Society, &c, &c. Neve? more in Napier will his manly voice charm tlie admiring ears of his lady admirers ; vaca'ut will be his place in the choir, and in many social circles. The Bowing Club will i»s,mcnt "the absenco of his manly form in future hard (?) rowed matches. The Mutual improvement Society will also lament the depar- ! ture of a guide, philosopher, and friend. Great l ( will be the vacancy, and not easily to be filled, in ' all manly pursuits ; he always fancied he was worth two. And in pursuit of feminines he was certainly equal to twenty. Much-lamented T. H., wo "must wish you farewell, may your shadow never grow less! What does C. do so much on the Shakespeare R<yad ? Is the attraction the dark-haired girl? Look out for the young grocer. Puhoi (Whangakoa).— Yelp from a mill hand : It is time a change was mnde at the kitchen, the dirty sluts turn out of bed and commence cooking without even washing their paws. It might be good enough for the whelp ; its taint for all hands ; if their skin is blaqk, they could wash off the dirt Things are coming to a pretty pitch, the wife of H. and Mrs D. go out riding," and D. soon follows P.'s uncle won't die now they have got rid o£ the parson. How they will 'em and 'aw rather than tell the truth point blank A select quadrille party was held at Puhoi on the 17th instant, and proved a success. Mr Andy M. performed the duties of M. C. in a most efficient manner. The excellent music Avas rendered by our local musicians, Mr Peeher and Mr Paul. The young ladies present were neatly attired, Miss Anne L. being the acknowledged belle, whilst her sister was by far the best dancer ■ r> rcsent Frank has not returned since L. ordered all larrikins out Annie threatens to exterminate the man of wax and leather if he doesn't return that ring Mary has become despondent since the Panmurite's departure Mary struck a new patch whilst at Ohaupo. Man GERE. — The fellow or fellows that sometime send you jottings from here are mere hoodlums, no more, for they have a regular down on us girls. Why, do you think ? Some of ouv big brothers practise the noble art of boxing. (I wish I was a man). And , the poor fellows are afraid to tell you all round, a girl cannot hurt her ! finger without having it said she is engaged. But what can you expect of fellows that crib their sisters' hair oil and spend their Sunday afterI noons in company with an old donkey, practising riding lessons. Now we girls think there are more donkeys than Mr P.'s There never has been a word about the young man that is bo anxious about his neighbour* wheat. That young farmer knows something about poultry, and has his eye on that neipb.bour'« pullet Some fine , fellow* ftbaut Mangare pound their neighbours'

cattle to raiso the wind C. has taken his horse's boots off, as he purposes pairing soon with the lovely Miss D M. A. is determined to have the S.M., if fair running will do it P. has left here, and left sorrow behind. Poor M ! So has the sailor ; we all miss him so much Those two sacrainentalists should have the road made smooth before they ride or drive oh it. Any person would think they were slightly elevated, but of course they could not be What was Fred doing in the upholsterer's shop ? Has the spirit moved him P Mrs — says she is going to bring her daughters up to be ladies. Touch me not, my dear The larrikins think duck drowning fine sport. Abataptt. — It is useless for Miss J. to try and catch that middled-aged man at the Baud of Hope meeting, for he says he is already engaged. Try someone else ; there are younger men than Mr R Mr R., I am glad to see you out. If those larrikin boys that would be men would wait for the hair to grow on their faces before they shave, their faces would not be so I sore. It's amusing to see some ef them, H.B , ! A. J., J.M., and F.S.. for instance, boys of sixteen, i walking about with cigarettes stuck in their ] mouths, trying to imitate the low swell Who is that man that addressed the Postmaster the ' other evening in the following manner ? — " That money I gave you a week ago to send to my r-j-editor has not arrived at its destination yet. See, here is your receipt (holding the Post-office order in his hand), and, by , if the money goes wrong, I will make it hot for you." Report says that some of our sporting men are going to present the Bride-street female pugilist with a set of boxing-gloves, as a recognition for the masterly manner in which she discomfited her antagonist on Saturday afternoon. It is also reported that the Bride-street residents are going to petition the manager to have a residence built for her in some out-of-the-way place, as they don't consider it safe to have her in their midst. Rather good to hear Mrs C. tell about that young man, who, after filling his capacious stomach with the good things provided for the Mutual Improvement Society's entertainment, asked if the Society were going to pay, and being answered in the negative, cleared without performing that important duty himself. New Plymouth — There is a great stir among the citizens on account of the expected arrival of the Governor on the 27th instant, and from all appearances His Excellency will have a lively time of it. A programme lias been drawn out which would do honour to the Prince of Wales himself. There is no doubting the fact that the people of New Plymouth can le as enthusiastic as any other community, notwithstanding the fact that the pluce has been isolated for years, and its inhabitants have had no higher deity to worship than a Bank Manager or needy Major. When the important opportunity offers, it is certain tbat we can rise to the occasion, and display an amount of loyalty which everyone thought had been completely smothered up, but which in reality has only lain dormant for a period of something like fifteen years, to burst out with fresh lustre and brilliancy. All theJ^'jV^ town is about the G-overnor and the -Crovoifior's levee, the ball, and the reception ; and people who have lately been shining in the Bankruptcy Court can find mearri'to guarantee the expense in connection ! with the magnificent reception that is to be accorded. It has been decided that the Governor must land at the breakwater, and an ex-banker, who is noted for his liberality, has volunteered to " stand " the expense of providing . a Brussels carpet to be laid clown along the breakwater, so tbat the representative of royalty may walk thereon from the boat to his carriage. Eureka ! What more is wanted to make the thing a success ? I am sorry to see the Jockey Club clique coming out so strong in the affair, and they have shown i decidedly bad taste in introducing rancourous feelings in the matter, their main object to offend and sit upon the Borough Councillors being very apparent; indeed, they went so far as to ignore j the Mayor, but they found that no one but the Mayor could present the address of welcome to I His Excellency, and so they had to "cave in": on that point." It is to be hoped that trilling poli- j tical questions will be banished in the matter, | otherwise the welcome will be a failure. The la-de-dah brewer did nob forget to push himself forward at the meeting, and he evidently thought j no one should have a say in the matter but hiini self. He put on so much "side" that it is evident he has forgotten his former occupations in New Plymouth before he started brewing What possessed those five gay young sparks in the Civil Service to drive out to Urenui ? Was it simply for the purpose of enjojing the scenery ? If co, why did they waste the most of their time iv the Maori pas, giving presents of sticks of tobacco and matches to the Maori girls? Old "Eyebrows" has got a widow in tow this time, and, as she has some money, he won't freeze on there for nothing. Will the naughty old lady-killer propose an elopement ? But that would never do, for who would be left then to teach our lawyers the " ins " and " outs " of the law? Is there jealousy existing between the Herald's general dustman and the now scribbler, who is supposed to occupy the editorial chair (save the mark, it is only a three-legged stool) of the News. The Herald man had better see to it, or his laurels will be g0ne..... /The latest sensation among the bank swells was the advent of a new barmaid at one of the leading hotels. She was a gushing young damsel who evidently knew the art of " stringing her beaux on." Her sudden disappearance, however, has left the youngsters very disconsolate. She was too good for New Plymouth— at least so her employer found out, and re-packed her back again to Auckland. We always get our "good things" from Auckland, and this was no exception The "father of the settlement" is becoming liberal in his old days. Fancy him giving £23 subscription to the Heception Committee! The Fire Brigade are a really clever lot, but the captain is the pluckiest of the crowd. How courageously he jumped from the roof of the Maeonio Hotel into the wet blanket in Devonstreet ! A certain young lady became most excited when she saw her darling performing such a dangerous feat, and required some one to hold her up. The climax wan reached when the gallant ebptain'B leg was seen protruding through the sheet', and it was uncommonly lucky for him

that he did not go through altogether T.W., the celebrated trombone-player, was not bae't:ward in proposing to give the Governor a miscellaneous concert, and he lost no time in wiring an invite to his Excellency. Who's to get the proceeds, Tommy ? That Government official ap-jg^ pears to enjoy his walk every morning with the|i^ young teacher ; but surely he might get somef '■ thing more edifying to talk about than vhat his" old grandmother did with her stockings Whatwas it that little C.M.S. picked tip m ; street, and would not show it to his wifp^jt Naughty little man. : %