TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 154, 25 August 1883, Page 12

TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

On Sunday week's form I 6lKHild say that. Mac. and Alex, are veritable mashers — no, hang it! I mean hashers It is wonderful the amount of gratuitous mischief gome busybodies will make. A. local Paul Pry recently telegraphed to an Auckland firm re their local agent, and obtained his dismissal A couple who bave loved "not wisely, but too well " — if you can dignify their passion by the name of love — are in momentary expectation of a horsewhipping from the father of the fair but frail one, who is reported on the warpath with a cowhide. More power to him, but it is very much like shutting the stable door, &c The Devonportroad dancing-class ia rapidly gaining popularity. So fair a conductress must Wynn. At first the eligible young male creatures kept out of range, but now two decoy ducks are invited weekly to add to the attractiveness of the callow brood, and victims swarm Hawker has confessed. 'Twasn't the boxing after all. With the rash, inconsiderate impetuosity of warm-blooded youth, he strove to swallow a "Buster" financial leader, and — broke his jaw! Serve him right A petition, commencing " By virtue of the householders," was circulated for signature last week, but after a number of signatures had been attached somebody thought of! reading it, and refused to sign " because the householders aint got no virtue!" Virtue was obliterated, and he signed Since the excitable proprietor of the " Bon Murche " stationery store is retailing horse feed, there is something of the eternal fitness of things in the bucolic rendering of the title as "Bran Mash." Turner and Buddie must be a " sterling firm." Judging from an ad. in Saturday week's "Buster," there's "money in it." Leave Joseph a-loan, and he'll be happy In your account of the Tauranga- Auckland match you call our/crowd the "representative Tau-ranga-and Katikati fifteen." It was not the representative fifteen, but a fifteen of the Tauranga Club, which, with the exception of W. War brick and Stewart, would .be entitled to play Club

matches under the Association. The team which. Auckland would have met had they been, able to play on their last visit here, was the Tauranga and Zatikati fifteen ; but as the Katikati men could not get away, only a Club fifteen was sent to the Domain My tear! whatever shall we do ! Oh ! woe, woe, and endless tribulation ! The fascinating Matier has been removed to New Plymouth, and "society" has lost its brightest ornament Miss G-eo'rgy E., of Te Puke, received a rather unexpected compliment the other day. She has evidently set the heart of a gdsp» Lothario, aged fourteen, in a blaze, a3 he , endeavoured to Harrass the local postmaster, storekeeper, etc., into procuring him a marriage license, and charging his father with a sufficientlyadditional quantity of tea and sugar to cover the cost. The would-be benedict was hugely disgusted when the storekeeper informed him that it " couldn't be did " on the tick-it system, and now he hasn't quite decided whether he'll rob a bank or amend the marriage laws The Te Puke Highway Board having spent their surplus cash on their Engineer's little experiments, have let a contract for No. 4 road, on condition that the contractors take a twelve months' bill for the dollars. The long-suffering settlers on No. 4 have now a remote chance of getting on their land. I believe two of them actually captured the chairman and took him over part of the track, but he positively refused to tempt Providence by attempting the remainder; hence the contract Yet another victim to the might of the smiter!...... Rumour says that an enterprising citizen recently started in the highway business. He robbed two local capitalists, who panned out four shirt buttons and a threepenny piece, and was bo disgusted that he shouted for both on condition, they said nothing about it. He's left the business That infernal jaw has entered the Press. When a certain party read the jawf ul tidings, he larfed. " Are you acquainted with this lady?'* "No, sir." "Then sign this, sir." " Yes, sir." People here will sign anything but a blank cheque The Borough Councillors have decided, in the language of Herculean Tommy, Captain of No. 1, that the Fire Brigade are to have "No more wet'ims." A certain body here appointed one of their number Secretary, much to his inward satisfaction. At their next meeting he was requested to take down the names. " Let 'em put 'em down theirselvea, I ain't agoin' to commit no forgeries," waß the reply. He didn't know how.