CHIFFONS.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 149, 21 July 1883, Page 18

CHIFFONS.

Sib,— lt is said Ahat the Dunedin people show a great lack of seri.se, from the way in which they have jnanaged f their drainage and reclamation works ; this I musfc c?eny in loto, for it is entirely owing to the arrangement of these public works that they have any semit's at all. Some illnatured people say too .much. To be fully convinced of this; it is only necVssary to walk ~h\>K the Caledonian grounds pasc the gas-wsjn-s >;... low tide, to see the beastly ret.uii£ .hple_ iljkwitb black, greasy filth, emitting a "sicking stench, and poisoning the whole atmosphere ; to notice the foul open ditches, vvith dime oozing fr«m their sides, and floating oa the turbid water 5 to look afc the end of the Rattray -street sewer (carefully holding your nose as you do so), and see how the drain stops short of the reclamation wall, ancl empties all its abomination into a seething pool of fcetid slush, which is stirred up, and washed backwards and forwards with the rise and fall of the tide, disseminating deathdealing gases at every moment; to go into certain offices and warehouses in Bond-street, and hear how entrance is impossible in the morning till a man has been sent in to scatter disinfectants around, rendering it difficult to understand how men can live and work in such an atmosphere ; to open a window when the north-east wind blows in, _ charged with the fever germs it has gathered in passing over those play-grounds of typhoid ; or to stand for a moment over the untrapped ventilating holes in Bond or Princesstreets. If, after you have done all this, you still live, you can understand, thafc though j Dunedin has no Cathedral, it fairly surpasses Cologne in smells, and this is saying a" good deal. Tho prettiest thing in Dunedin is, undoubtedly, little Maud Christopher, at Wains' ; the ugliest, the Vfrofo ADaily Times Oifice. The Coffee .'alaoo is a great institution there ; in it is always 10 be i'oi.ud :i fine assortment of more or less v -' : < L i' t'' r l*. b'"ik clerks, counter-jumpers, aad _»yw_. The funniest thing in Dunedin is a little Hebrew, who runs a sweep ; his get up is wonderful — .. ad fearful — to behold ; his great pecu-iit'-U' is that he always pays up. The theatre is a filthy den — a disgrace to the town. The upper end of Princes-street is very nice, and the lower very nasty; the Bank of New Zealand is the finest building in it. It is said that the Municipal authorities wish to have none but stone buildings in the main street ; the consequence is thafc there is a fire there almost every night. It is really wonderful how accommodating householders are in this respect, especially when well insured ; : the Scotch are so patriotic. The water of Leith is. pretty, and convenient for lovers, who have a good time there on Sundays — "the better the clay the better the deed." Dunedin can (unlike other towns in the Colony) boast three really good hotels iv the true sense of the word. You can 'always get good whiskey; if you want bad whiskey, you ask for brandy (vide analyst's report) ; they give you the tannin, eio., in with- 1 out extra charge — the Scotch are so liberal. 1 Dunedin ' beer is good if you get it straight ! f rom the 'brewery ; if not, ifc is a little mixed. There are some pretty girls in Dunedin ; they take sevens in boots; if they want larger ones, they. are obliged to have them made to order. I am. told the ;c bootmakers do not sell many ready-made boots. The fashionable lounge is up ancl down Princes-street ; time, about when the banks close. They say Sample is a very good horse-tamer, and is very fond of tying kerosene tins, to horses' tails to. show fche state of subjection' to which he has- brought them. This is nothing ; if he were to tie one of tho Dunedin steam tram-cars to the tail of a wooden rocking horse, and ride or drive that quadruped without a spill, I should say he was I indeed a great man. Joking apart, they are j frightfully dangerous things, and to hear oUe of j these abominations puffing and groaning along, one could almost; imagine that, Vesuvius ma higli state of eruption was strolling up Princes-street. No wonder there are so many carriage accidents. The gradients of some of the streets are terrific ; there are trams worked by endless cable running up them. They sometimes run down when the j cable breaks, in which case, ifc is said, they make j very good time to the bottom, and encourage j trade — the undertakers' Municipal boards are j seldom prodigies of wisdom, but for stupendous I , idiocy I'll back the Dunedin Harbour Board I ' against the field. No one can fathom the depths of their miraculous stupidity. No one knows what they do, or why they do it. Monevhas been literally chucked into the harbour wij^no good result whatever, in fact, the bar seeiSs to get worse aud worse, and their proceedings more and more bar-bar-ous every day. They cerj tainly do their level best to drive' shipping away, and then say their pilots are too old. I'd rather j be master even of, say the pilot schooner in Auckland,, than subject to the jackasses composing the Dunedin Harbour Board ; and now that they are frightened at the result of their jolter-headed blundering, they want to make it a national question, and finger some national money probably. "Ma conscience ! " — Yours, New Chum. P.S. — I forgot to tell you that there are one or two Scotchmen in Dunedin.

Mother Swan's Worm Syrup.— lnfallible, tasteless, harmless, cathartic; for feverishness, restlessness, worms, ponstipation. ls. at druggists. Moses, Moss & Co., Sydney, General Agents. By advertisement in this issue tenders are called for in reference to the Thames Valley-Kotorua Railway. Particulars obtainable at the offlce of Messrs Stewart and Hunter, Shortland-street. Mothers Don't Know.— How many children . are published for being uncouth, willful and indifferent ' to instructions or reward simply because they are out of health f At intelligent lady said of a child of this j kind : " Mother don't know that she should give the little oue moderate doses of Hop fitters for two or three weeks, arid the child' would be 'all a parent could desire." Look for. I , "Lloyd's List."— April 14th, 1881;— Yel- \ veteens for export. "Ye Eoyal Amethyst i" Velveteen ! manufactured at Manchester, is made in all shades,' and will; he .found a . flrsfcjch^ss material, having") a; A glossy and rich, appearance, .quite equajl,- to silfc yeivet ; the-'pile' is'^erfecl.ly'fasti md the'col'otir pei^maiieiit, the j .tattoo «Qt b etagicffegted J>y ,am or daanp/^ ; is ■Hiejrase 'with 'ver^eens,.^jKey;Gise^"^el^bFmanU? I faotiu-edonly by thia ffiincdiia tie ttfioat chaste and rioh, 1 > .velveteen €txbilatedf and-Hjecomuig 'very fashionable 'i_. EnglaM : ''afp£^ are stamped; , : : " Boyal Amethysts-'.'. W. Battiay.We- Agentf fo* AucbJand., A J a ■'■ ''".-' -y "'"' * - ''• 17 "