JACK BADPAY'S BARGAIN.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 146, 30 June 1883, Page 233

JACK BADPAY'S BARGAIN.

Last night, feeling myself rather unwell, I entered a certain smart hotel, And ordered n quiet bowl of punch, To digest the oysters .taken at lunch. Presently there entered three young men. Though they made sufficient noise for ten ; The conversation I then plainly heard I jotted down, almost word for; word. • And now, first, just for convenience sake, A certain liberty with names I'll take. And call each by a name respectively, So that they may be known, collectively ; Peeling sure of boing allowed my way, > I'll cnll.them — Hardup, Spendthrift, and Badpay. Hardup first copiously wet his beak,. And then with thick utt'ra»ce began to speak Hardup: " What's this panic iv the money market, boys, About which folks are making so much noise ? Has Mat. Ice once more shown his crafty face, And startled the whole money-lending 1 race ? Or has prosperity indeed left our shore P ' And if that's so, will it return no more ?" Spendthrift: " I don't know, that's as may be. This I knowLast week my funds were getting very low, So I went to the Exchange to Cent, per Cent., Who onco before to me some money lent. The price he charged for a paltry loan Was such as etaitled my weak nerves, I own ; Two hundred per cent., as I'm a sinner— It took away my appetite for dinner. I expostulated about the price, Bat he said I need' not be so very nice — The money was the property of another ; He'd have told the same tale to his brother." Badpay ; ■ . " That reminds me, though it's a long time backJust when things were beginning to get slack — I bought from a broker who was near a smash Some mining scrip which he no doubt thought trash* I sold the scrip for a hundred pounds in gold, Leaving the tricky broker in the cold. I see you want to know how this was done, And, as that's so, I will not spoil your fun. He offered me the shares upon a bill, And handed me the document to fill. While he was talking, what's called soft-sawder, I slightly marked out thq word " order," Thus niakirig it payable to him alone ; If he'd known that, he'dhave changed his tone. Being short sighted, he didn't notice what I'd done; I can tell you that I enjoyed the fun. * When he found out, he wanted- back the scrip, But I was off to the Islands on a trip ; And when I returned to this old port, * He'd just passed through, the Insolvent Court He'd taken care, though, to retain the bill, And a certain young lawyer holds it still. He tried hard to bounce me for a while, But at that I could well afford to smile." Badpay having said what he had to say, Thoy all departed on their doubtful way To some place to me entirely unknown, And I wag left to cogitate alone.

"Rottgh osr Ea.*es."— Clears out rate, mice, roaches, fli«s, ants, bed-bugs,- beetles, insects, skunks, jack-rabbits, gopher. 7£d. Druggists. Moses, Moss &Co., Sydney, General Agents. : The science of Mineralogy is an excellent thing. Now, the ancients had a knowledge only of sey.eametals— • gold, silver, copper, tin, lead, and mercury. They were each held sacred to some, ruling deity. Gold is the Sol of sun of the alchemist,: who represented it by the circle, the emblem' of perfection; Even now gold is the sun of all olietuists, represented by a circle in the form of a sorereign. There is nothing new under the sun, and there .are. .arawingß, on Egyptian tombs representing gold-washing as early as 2500 yeare before the Christian era. /Now a question has often arisen " How do we get the pound P.", .Why., when the Romans began to coin, a, pound weight of copper was a natural issue, anda, < ; "pound sterling" was lisrelye' ounces sterling »UVeiftis;. But a. jtruce to nonsense, what do you want with poundlS^whe# Joe Moses; the energetic; manager of the-Mef*' Zealand Tweed Companyi-informs the public he* makes.! trousers vo order for J.3s 6d, ■ , .