THE SALVATION ARMY ON THE RAMPAGE.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 91, 10 June 1882, Page 195

THE SALVATION ARMY ON THE RAMPAGE.

Salvation by hysterics is the latest dispensation. To be fit for heaven in these days one must first have a fit of temporary insanity. Like the Pythia of Apollo, it is only when overcome by the paroxysms of madness that the Salvation Church militant utters those incoherent mutterings that are construed into oracular inspirations.' There is a madness in crowjds like neurosis, or the brainworm in sheep. The. Salvation Army in England are all more or less attacked with neurosis. One of the forms in which the disease develops itself is a weakness for titles, just as some poor lunatics in our asylums are under the delusion that they are Napoleons, Nelsons, Julius Cocsars, and other great historical personages. There is the " Converted Drunkard," the "Hallelujah Fish monger," the "Eegenerated Clown," the "Blood-washed Miner," the Happy Baker," the " Devil Dodger," and one man m Grlasgow triumphantly proclaims himself the " Devil Walloper." These deluded creatures parade the streets making hideous noises with drums, triangles, tambourines, banjos, clarionets, and other instruments of torture, hold what they are pleased to call. " blood-and-fire meetings," and generally go cavorting r.ound endeavouring to qualify themselves for straightjackets.

At Blackburn, one of the brethren, " who used tobacco for 25 years, and could not pray without a chew," has at last conquered the nicotian demon. In "Winsford, a regenerated howler related how he "used to go to public-houses, stand on his head on the table, play my concertina, and dance with my feet against the ceiling," but now he is " saved." Another, a regular heathen, went by the name of "Friday," and we are told that "Satan set his imps to work to prevent poor sin-stained Friday from becoming a white-robed, bright-winged saint, with a golden harp, and a crown of glory." There was also another " imp " in the guise of a publican, who used to tempt poor Friday with pots of beer, against the seductive influences of which he had a hard struggle, and at length triumphed. To crown all, there are two opposing Salvation Armies in the field. " Gl-eneral Booth " has issued a manifesto warning his followers against a certain Captain Sterry, who pretends to rank as a Salvation Army officer, as an imposter who has deserted his wife, as well as against other pseudo commanders, and a movement called " King Jesti's Army." There is some danger that these antagonistic forces will come to blows, and pummel each other out of brotherly love and zeal for the cause of Christianity. In -many of the districts, band of lads and lasßes hold " skirmish-meetings," at which the Saints dance and shout until " they have to be removed," while converted clowns and devil-walloppers blow brass instruments and pound away on drums,' till, like dancing Dervishes, they fall down from sheer exhaustion.

Of course all this must be very terrible and humiliating to the well regulated minds of those sober-minded Christians who walk to church once every Sunday an all the dignity of broad-cloth, a spotless shirtfront and stand-up collar, with their prayer-books and hymn-books under their arms, and sleep through the sermon with the utmost

decorum in luxurious pews; It must also awaken emotions of pious sorrow, mingled with, a comforting consciousness of superiority, in the,breasts of , those level-headed "stump" evangelists who blow their own trumpets at tea-and-tickle debauches and missionary wind-raisings, making long speeches, smelling of the lamp, from the platform, and casting bread upon the waters which returns to them in the shape of business. The spectacle of a bright and shining light of the YouHg Men's Christian Association itinerating the streets with a banjo is too ridiculous to bethought of for a single instant. But after all, when the great day of reckoning comes, when men are judged by their intentions and not pretensions, and when the inmost secrets of all hearts are laid bare, it may be more tolerable for the misguided, but sincere enthusiasts of the errratic Salvation Army than for the complacent, self-righteous hypocrites who adopt the outward semblance of piety for a cloak, and turn the crucifix into a trade-mark.