WAIKATO WHISPERINGS.

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 48, 13 August 1881, Page 555

WAIKATO WHISPERINGS.

— If I wanted an ideal for an auctioneer I would select my friend H. E. Cotton of Cambridge. .George Robins, it is said, once described a property in such glowing terms, and drew such bright pictures (in print) of its umbrageous woods, sloping, velvet lawns, bright parterres, and I know not whn.t besides, that the ■vendor came to him and told him that he could not, after reading the aforementioned description, dream of parting with such a beautiful property. This was the perfection of the art of gammoning others, and a valuable one, too, in an auctioneer. But my friend Cotton's eloquence gulls not only his auditors, but himself into the bargain. At the sale of poor old Major Hay's effects the other day, Cotton holding forth a set of boxing gloves, straw-stuffed and somewhat moth-eaten and worth at the best perhaps five shillings, expatiated at sncli length upon their value, and finally ran the bidding up to about fifteen shillings. " What, gentlemen," said the auctioneer, " only fifteen bob for a set of gloves of this description ?" but the bidders were silent, and as Cotton mournfully knocked them down, he whispered in choking accents to an intimate standing by, " Lord ! what a sacrifice !" — The friend who supplied me with the little anecdote about my friend Mr Maberley, the schoolmaster of Hamilton East, h.is written stating that his version was quite right and Mr Maberley's quite wrong. The written advertisement was worded as originally, and there was no reference whatever to wages, the document running, "In return for services rendered, will be taught reading and writing." Mr Maberley lays the whole of the blame upon his mother-in-law, truly a very ungracious return for her well-meant attempt at economy ! But perhaps the best of the joke is to come. Mr Maherlcy's written advertisement had the desired effect of getting a slavey who happened to have been a scholar in Mr Murray's school on the opposite side of the river, and whose parents thinking she was old enough to give up learning, sent her into "service" (that is what they call it in England, but I am not sure that the term applies in the colony. The girl had done so well in the West school that Mr Maberly instantly sent her up for the standard examinations and to his credit (so far as the Inspector knows) she passed. Mrs Maberley's mamma may be a very shrewd woman, but in an all round competition, I would back her son-in-law, and win. — There is very little to be said further concerning the royal progress in Watkato. The party went ns far as Mercer to the old boundary of Potatau's Kingdom, and then returned home, pleased and satisfied. Various conjectures have been hazarded to nccount for the King's disinclination to visit Auckland, but so far none that have^appeared in print are correct. The only " true and correct" version is this : It came to Tawhiao's knowledge that so long as the citizens of the gay metropolis of the north could reckon upon a visit from two real live grandsons of Queen Victoria, they were nowise anxious to receive and feed six hundred dusky, and possibly dirty warriors, or to have a single particle of their attention, which would properly belong to the Royal sons oftheßoynl son of Royalty itself, diverted to the Maori King, who would, of course, be expected to get an invite to the Mayor's banquet and sit alongside even the grandest of grandes dames. The idea was unsupportable! But when the prayers of the whole tribe of > tuft hunters failed to bring hither the jolly young sailors — who -will enjoy themselves with infinitely more zest in Fiji —it was found that some valve must be opened or the social boiler would bust, and the grandees accordingly wired at the last moment a gracious invitation to Tawhiao. But the old chief possesses, after the manner of his own people a proud spirit, and can no more forgive a slight of this kind than can a Spanish hidalgo, and as we know he politely, but firmly declined. lam told further, also on the most unimpeachable authority ,that Tawhiao, knowing that J. M. Clark wns dreadfully disappointed when his hopes of getting knighted vanished, was fearful lest the worthy magnate would solicit from him the decoration of the " most noble order of the Morepork" or some other title in His Majesty's gift, and being of a disposition tender and unable to refuse favours, thought it better to keep out of teuiptntioii. — Everything at the late Major's sale went remarkably high. The fact is, thnt everybody who knew the genial old man (and who did not?) wanted something to keep (us a memorial, and they got whatever they set minds on without much regard to cost. Hence there was hot competition. It was a curious commentary on the many-sidedness of the old soldier's character, to see heaped around rifles, fowling-pieces, duelling pistols, bowie-knives, etc., children's toys, Maori mats, and pipes and musical boxes, and to mark the heterogenious nature of his library in which men of all shades of thought, and even of religion, might have found something to suit their tnste. — The people of Hamilton West want a Public Hall, and the people of Hamilton Enst say, and with much truth, that there nre halls enough and to spare in Hamilton as it is, and that until the Oddfellows and Mr LeQuesne begin to get interest on the money invested. The project of a third hall had better be put aside, and tho Government grant of £100 diverted to the formation of a public library. The West people retort by saying that if they do not bnild a hall, the church money, £200, will be swallowed up iv the erection of a Sunday-school, and that, besides, they are tired of paying the exorbitant rent for the East halls, the amount of which, in the cuse of any public meeting, generally comes out of the pockets of one or two. There is sufficient affection between the two sides now, but this little dispute is likely to increase it.