AT THE CORNER.

Thames Star, Volume XVI, Issue 5089, 9 May 1885, Page 3

AT THE CORNER.

[by nemo.] Homo turn, Timpani nihil a me alienum puto.

It is a sad satire on the boasted cultim of poetry by Englishmen that such s man as Martin Farqubar Tapper should be credited with stating that he is poverty stricken, after writing for three-quarters of a century. The idea is neither Byronic (rather more ironic) or Tennysonian. Had the poor old man lived at the present day, and tickled the fancies of .Royalty and the nobles by inane rubbish, such as has even earned titles and pensions, he would not now be in such dire distress. Fortune is fickle, indeed, and no clearer exemplification of this is required than a contemplation of the titled Tennyson in all his splendor (forgetting his trifling disregard of toilet appurtenances) marching up the floor of the House of Lords, while the poor meek Tupper is reduced in circumstances to the extent that he states he has written for seventy five years without any pecuniary satisfaction. Ludicrous mistakes often occur owing to deficient hearing on the part of listeners or the defective delivery of those attempting to impart information. I heard this week of the case of a well known resident who has the misfortune to be afflicted with deafness enquiring for a certain public official, and being informed that he had "gone shooting pheasants,"exclaimed " What, gone to confession ? " There is a certain amount of enphonius resemblance in the two sentences, but the fact that the man who was thought to have gone confessing, has anything but a strong lore for Roman ideas, added * spice to the joke, Another little error was also rery absurd. In talking •bout a doctor who has recently gone Home, one of those speaking of bim remarked, " I understand be has got Home degrees." "What" replied the other, °gold home to grease, what for?" X X X One of the boys in blue—not an A.C.— is wrath because the recently elected subaltern was only a " ranker." I think that army subaltern officers should, if possible, be selected from among the •• non corns."; but what if none of them will offer themselves! The men have themselves to blame if unpopular or un tried men are placed over them. XXX "Calypso" is not far wrong re schoolboys' drill with rifles, only I consider that the weapons should be kept in a small armory at each school, and not entrusted to the lads beyond the precincts of the ■chool, and further, drill with rifles should B«t last more than three months, the arms being passed from school to school in rotation throughout each district. XXX What qualifications are necessary to fit a man tor the ranks of a Volunteer corps ? It would seem desirable that every volunteer should be sober, physically strong, and of fair average intelligence. Now, when a man in the ranks does not know his right hand from his left; " shoulders" arms, when ordered to" support"; faces to the right, when left-turn is given ; "ports" arms, so as to nearly knock the eye out of his left hand man; and adds to to all this contrariety the outrage of talking to the files on each side of him while the instructor is drilling his company, and never by any chance looking to his front. I say such a man should not be retailed, or else be should be relegated to the "awkward squad." By the way, there never is snch a squad—in our Volunteer Companies, all are efficient. XXX The prolonged idleness of the Shortland Sawmill is a great misfortune to the district, and surely it would, even now, pay the owners to construct a tramway from the bush to the mill for the convey* ance of the logs. This will have to be done ere long, for accordingly as the country is denuded of timber will the rainfall decrease, and driving, in time, become impossible. If a tramway be impracticable through the Kauaeranga Valley, then the mill will have to be removed to the bush.