He Couldn't Fit Him with a Fair of Shoes.

Thames Star, Volume XIII, Issue 4299, 11 October 1882, Page 2

He Couldn't Fit Him with a Fair of Shoes.

A negro, with nothing but a ragged look and a pair of big,shoes to distinguish him, entered Rube Hoffenstein's store at New Orleans- and asked to,, look at some flioes. „ " Vat number do you Tear ? " inquired Hoffenstein. . " I don't 'zactly 'member,-' replied the .negro, " but it 'pears to me de number is somewhar round fourteen," and he held up a broad, flat-looking foot, which shut out * the light from the door like a screen.

" My gro-acious! " exclaimed Hoffeßf^. stein, as he gazed at the dimensions of the negro's pedal extremity, " if your feet Tas a couple uf inches longer, my frent, dey vould be a bair uf viogst un Ten Gabriel blays bis drumpet all you vould haf to do is to rork your feet and you flya shuat 10 good as a little mockingbird. My gr-r-acious, rat feet! " .'. 1 "Look hyar," said.the negro, indig- | nantly, " I didn't^come to dit store to be 'sulte'd. I nebber talk 'bout anybody, and I ain't gwine to 'low anybody 1 to talk 'bout me. God - made deal feet, and 'pinted me to tote 'em firew dis world, an' you ain't got no right to find fault wid dem. Fokei have mighty 'spisabto/raya dese -times,'pears te me.'-' "Yell, my frent, you. don't must get mad, you know. If you see my broder's feet Tot Tas in New Jersey. vypii don't dink you Tas nobody. TyVic.my brqder ras in New Orleans, und Talk on his hapds in de summer dime, he'feeftr get struck on de head mit de sun. His feet Tould be dwice as much petter ai an umprelia. He Tas brood of hit feet, my frient, und eferypody Tot has been any-. Tere near him say dot dey Tas de strongges point. " I didn't.come hyar to talk 'boat feet," said the 1 negro, " I come fur de 'cipress purpose ob gettin' er pair obJdrifajtrt if you ain't got any, say so, an'3qp gwine somewhere eta." ..'\ „.', ;^Yatt, my frent. Jtmjjik, <iom&*nd dake a look at cle shjUgKar feet und see if dere Yas aoyofng %£}ito|ftTOt Till ?it him." '"^V^&Zi'^i The clerk did as he was Wifliß.and said there was not» pair of jfcwi in the house that wastage enough, ' "If you is, all gwine to:kjftNfcAshoe store," said thVne^g^ in^^lttliiiC^f'/why don't you hab; «hoet : on htaadat will fit fokes." "" "'■"»■-- Zr±^. " Yell, my frent," (replied Hofleuttlio, " Te don't can afford to kedp shoes in de stock Tat Till Tit your feet.' It touM jiy us petter, you knqwV to put ajid.umf a gouple. of handles;*© dqse. kind uf shoes, und sell dem for leddtfr tiaairi," a«1 with a blaod wnila Hoflen»*e6i 4?oiw* the negro out. ■ - ■ ".- -