DUFFY KEEPS THE CALF.

Thames Star, Volume XII, Issue 3784, 12 February 1881, Page 1

DUFFY KEEPS THE CALF.

Recently two of Mr Duffy'3 neighbours determined to abduct a pet calf belonging to that gentleman, and Mr Duffy became aware of their scheme. Therefore he quietly removed the calf from the boxstall in which it was confined, and in the place of it introduced a goat of the Wm. gender, and of a very vicious disposition. He also fixed a spring on the door of the stall that would cause it to close unless held open, and he also attached to the door a spring lock that would fasten, and could only be unfastened from the outside. Then be went to bed, but not to sleep. It was at the witching hour of midnight that the two marauders entered Mr Duffy's barn. They had examined the premises the day before, and knew exactly where to go. Each of them carried a dark lantern. They entered the stall and the door closed behind them. Everything was still. One of them opened the slide of his lantern. Then there was a clatter of hoofs and the man with the lantern found him* self piled up in a corner, very much surprised. He thought it was the queerest calf he had ever met. Then the other man opened the slide of his lantern to see what the matter was, and the next instant the breath went out of him with a " yah," that made the listening Duffy laugh all over, Then all was still again except the faint profanity of the men, and finally, the man who was hit first recovered enough to paw around and find his lantern. It was extinguished, but he got out a match and lighted it again. Then he turned the bull's eye towards the goat, and then he went into the corner again. The goat's blood then being aroused, he didn't wait for further lights, but began to butt around promiscuously, and the robbers concluded it was time to get out. But that didn't prove so easily done. Then they began to yell for help, and Mr Duffy could tell when the goat hit them, because instead of yelling " Help I " they cried "Oh !" and after he had laughed till his sides ached, he went and let them out, on condition that they wouldn't try to carry oft the goat, and when they stepped out of the barn he jumped, and stamped, and yelled that the goat was after them, and they screamed " Murder ! " and ran three miles down the road before they stopped for breath. Duffy still keeps the calf.