The Laws of Dracon.

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3226, 21 June 1879, Page 2

The Laws of Dracon.

By Vebdant.

Yesterday I heard such a lot about the new Borough Bye-laws that when I g&t homo and in between my blankets-I a'cV tually dreamt about them. This is the substance of my dream. I thought I was in Albert street and when some distance from the Star Office I saw two animals reared. on their hind legs with their fore legs resting on the board in front of the office on which the "poor man's paper" is, posted. However grotesque and unreliable what I am now going to relate may seem, I assure you it is strictly true. That a pig and a coat were actually reading the report of the late Borough Council meeting, the proceedings of which were fraught with interest to , animals ,of their genus. Of course I was thunderstruck and listened spell bound, while the pig slowly and painfully spelt over to the goat,- a learned Councillor's remarks on the pig nuisance. " The very idea," indignantly commented the pig! "of such a man as he saying we caused sickness. Bah, who's he? If he were salted down he would not make one side of bacon, legs and all thrown in. And' that cold water man argufying;that we shonld be 'excluded from the municipality." Here followed several grunts, the precise pronunciation of which I was unable to catch. The goat here put a spoke in the wheel by reminding that Cr i" 3s tea" had manfully stuck up for the rights and interests of the down-trodden municipal swine. Piggy admitted that, of course, that was mighty consoling, and if ever he could do a good turn for " his little shop "he woidld do it. The two frfends having further abused certain councillors, turned their attention again to the copy of the " twinkler." Presently the pig was alarmed by the goat exhibiting symptoms of mental, aberration. She jumped round, rushed a small boy and a couple of dogs, and wept and pulled her beard at intervals. It was evident she was in a paroxysm pf _rage. .When shf. recovered from her hysterical fit, and in reiponse to the anxious enquiry of the pig, she pointed to/the goat Bye-law. l' " A collar, the badge of'serfdom round pur necks like common dogs, and number, us like a flock of sheep! Can'thorp 1 be] su'oti injustice and ;if fanny ti^jior' the" ethciriat canopy of !h>a^enVr: (The, education. of , the, old lady jejriaently had not; been, neglected.) to 111,1 nuisances and pu]fc : usVpa f; par/ with* \ habitual drunkards by threatening iVto send us up "the third time we are caught taking a constitutional in the public highway."; In a deeply pathetical melo* dramatic voice she concluded "such insults are not to be borne, and we who help to rear the rising generation of Councillors, the future Native Ministers and Premiers, to be branded as vagrants and wanderers, having tickets placed upon bur neck, and registered as common use - * less dogs are. We were born a free race with rights to the hillsides and the green vales, and will never submit to such indignities, especially from those who, though they can laugh, are none the less like the more senseless and stupid of our own race, who are spoken of contemptuously as ' goats.' " Her feelings at this point so overcame the old lady that she tumbled into the water table in front ofrthe; office. While the pig was getting her round I made liiyself scarce/ andj was shortly after awakened from my delicious slumber by the dear partner of my joys and sorrows yelling into my ear; "Get up, Verdaqt, you old • goatj' »nd istop talking about Borough Councillors and their useless bye-laws. If the wise man, who drafted them bye-laws had . some. • kids' .of their own, they would ; haye t a kindly feeling fpr their particular family or genus in the order of the mammalia." 1