How to Land an Umbrella.

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3222, 17 June 1879, Page 2

How to Land an Umbrella.

A New Yobk Method.

[oil citt deb rick. J . V Len' me yer umbrella a minn;t! " •. Snch was the exclamation of Jones as he rushed into the office of Squire Lickshingle yesterday. i •■i;lili\ " Certainly, certainly," said the squire, ■laying* down his (newspaper, and takings fresh chew of fine cut; " ghd to acediamodate you ;" and he opened a draw« in his desk and began rum::ging through his legal forms and blan 7:?. jj^phu!^^ Jones darted into the corner, seized me grron Ringham relic, aad was preparing to fly with it. •• Stop, stop, stop!" said the" squire, railing his hand majestically'j.'^Ojttoo fast, young man. Wait till,! make out the necessary papers.' ->■■ f ; ; *» !?A Jones dropped the umbrellarrPnv^ 18 corn of course. After pumping his lame foot up and down, and tying a hard knot

in his countenance, and untying it a^ain, he echoed :

" The necessary papers ? " , .'• Yea," said the squire, sternly, " the necessary papers." And he coutinued liis search among the blanks.

The right one found, Lye filled it out in & jiffy, and handed it to Jones Jo sign. - As Jones read tho paper his knees knocked together. It vras a mortgage on his house antl lot as security that he would return tho umbrella in good ordor within fifteen minutes. Ho faltered :

" Why—why, Squire, I only want to borrow your umbrella to ran across the •treet with. I'll fetch it back in two seconds."

The Squire aimed his spectacles up over his bald spot until they formed two »kylightn in his intelleotual roof, and looking Jones full in the face, said : "You only want to run across the street? You'll return in two seconds? Young man, that is what they all say. I take up stock in it. Man wants but little here below, but when he wants his umbrella he wants it. I have: known people in my time who hare listened to the sons; of the siren who cpine to bor/ow umbrellas,' until she had transformed them into a people without an umbrella between them and the pelting storms. I am not one of that kind. I have lived a long .time. I hate accumulated a fortune, vfay ? For the simply reason that I hate not spent my substance in buyinuumbrellaj, Tho umbrella you held in your hand is certainly not of uncommon beauty, nor is it of great Talue. It is simple a gingham umbrella—a green one at that. But it answers the purpose for which, &c. I hare had it since I was a boy. Why? Because no man, neither the son of nrin, has erer taken it beyond the range of my Tision without first signing over his estate that hexwduld return it in good condition. It niaynot seem neighborly, but its business.' Here is the mortgage, there is the umbrella, without beats the rain of heaven. You 1 have ,your choice." -A nd the old man Tesu;tti|d his newspaper. f;" Jbne's 1 thought of his wife and babies, and the pleasant home that was all his own. Then he looked at the doors r.nd windowjs as if to get in out of the wet. A,, glan'ce'athis new bforcoat and Jones was decided. '■ ! •' l'\\ risk,", he said, and stepping to the desk with Measured treas find slow, he clapped his name to-the mortgage, and was off with the umbrella.