Page 2 Advertisements Column 5

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2625, 7 June 1877, Page 2

The Imfettjous Man's lippK. —A man out on Valley street received a letter, which lie opened, and out dropped a draft for $2000, and his heart stopped beating as he read the letter, and saw it was from Manchester, England, and signed "your unnatural, but penitent uncle." He gave a wild shriek of exultation and sank senseless to the ground. When he revived he rushed down lawn, and~couldn't wait until the bank opened, but ran around buying new furniture, new clothes, new carpets, blue glass, furs for his wife, and dresses for .his girls, and 15-cent drines for himself! and when nine o'clock came he rushed to the bank, he found a man there inside the window who was sufficiently composed to read the draft clear through with an equal mind, and who explained that he could not pay $2,000 on it, because it was. merely an advertisement of Diffendorfe's pevipatic pain annihilator for. corns and soft bunions; and it took that man until six o'clock in the evening to countermand the Oiders he had given before nine o'clock^ and then he forgot half of them, and his wife had to stand at the front £a fe at the afteraorn turning away delivery waggons which came backing up to the sidewalk with new things.