What Everybody Says.

Thames Star, Volume III, Issue 16711, 23 May 1874, Page 2

What Everybody Says.

"In multitude of couoaellors there j§ safety —Qibv Pbovbbb; / ■■pA^ ■'' ■ ■i'^ - :■■

Everybody must admit that if there is a social movement in the advancement pf which theend justifies the means, that movement must be a bazaar. No matter what^'the end " may be-f-and there is one end icept in view by all the fair promoter! of bazaars, namely, that of getting money —•whether to build or furniih a church or endov an-hospital,, the •a^e^harinl^i swindles are resorted to by fair women to ■ extract money from the pockets of brave men. The ingenuity displayed by the former is something, in^nensl)..lt is only necessary to have a bazaar to bring out |11 the industrial traits of all the young hvdieViin the place, and.to deTelope business habits on the part of matrons to which they had hitherto been considered strangers ; - suggesting the reflection how many gooofshopwomen are loit.' In fact a wholesale license is assumed at bazaars which actually intimidates * thoughtful bachelors from advancing a step towards chaifguag theirj icondjtion. (Everybody doesn't say this, because; from; bazaars many a couple date their acquaintance and the commencement of "lore's young dream.") The first inducement offered is "the good cause."■ in which the bazaar is held. Toiu go anlljpay a small entrance fee,* and find yourself in the midst of an assemblage of " old men and women—young men and maidens," especially the latter. On all sides may be seen those-sgeeimeni of fancy work in which the feminine eye delighteth. Cushions and cosies, slippers and smoking caps; chair backs And footstools meet the eye'on every side.'' If any man can venture into a bazaar and walk down the room without being stuck up at least half a dozen times to go into a raffle for this, that, or the other piece of useless work, that man must be either very plain, or possess the unenriable reputation of being very mean. Thesyrens who throng bazaars and wheedle the half-crowns out of the pock«t«'6f thai men felk—are a match for anybody* and everybody at .-a bargain. , Some, of them; 4*no '*buld experience considerable diißdenoe in going into a draper's shop toi ask for any ordinary article, have no scruples about turning hawkers for the time being and accosting every male man they meet just to "gointo this raffle—only half-a-crown." Their importunity is only equalled by their (in some cases) good looks—pr their disinterestedness! in the cause. It is so easy for a lady going to -a bazaar to escape the^attaefct of the fair vendors of baby clothing and'other requisites by assuming the role of, saleswomen ' themselves. - They avoid the pertinacious attacks of their fair sisters, and gain for themselves a reputation for being hard workers by walking about-the room,; cushion in hand, seeking whom they may devour,.; TJiej throw off the conventionalities'of life j; introductions are matters of little" moment. "At the refreshment stalls, again, they don't object to assume'for the nonce the role of " that odious barmaid," and dispense noblers ajbd smiles-£n£blers, sljtnjNice each, the fiddles thrown:' in. Jwiscruples of a Good Templar tendency are allowed' to comebetweenthemandthecause. Business is bufiness, and as bfzaArs beget thirst the drinking habits of the people must be considered: the end justifies the means*. l"he popular access who bit off the ends ofojgtnforwhMb ih»nmn^%wm

a piece from "her aristocratic juJminrf, 'and the less celebrated'young* ladietttfna displayed such clumsiness in extracting corks from leraotitjde and »ginger-beer bogles were 1 allUotnatid by" the same feeling—a desire Wget;ai mnch.«!poisible from the men ,'afr a gathering: wh*r« women claim a prerogative^ do trtmost aa they please—where the\prettiest Httfe faces show the largest amount of 'cheek, especially when th«Miaoes^eepi,ouL&oni_ clusters of curls or are surmounted by huge masses of hair, a la Minerva. These '.'reflexions " haTfLbe.enjQgge.sted by a recent concatenation of circumstances leading up to the grand climax ! detailed in the following ■ contribution, surreptitiously inserted under the door of the office late last night or earlj the following morning;:— i.. , - , VISIT TO THE BAZAAB. "" ' Djeas Sib, —take pity, listen to my woes, Which you will «ay- are more than mortal' ' When you knows <. How I ha.T# suffered, lince ,the.Qther nighjk $ I was beguiled. But oh! the fright Yxe got I shall remember all my life, 'twas that bazaar—you know the fearful swindle Of raffles, lotteries, and such like wilea j Where lasses wreathe their physiogi in. smiles, And. calmly pick yottr pooiet all the whiles.; I went-^as I remarked before—

But'scarcely had I ventured, to (be door And paid my bob—when,^ 16, Iwu coh> fronted By a ixniling Hebe—in her hand a pair of ■hoei. \ >,■■}'' ilf , < " Sir, take a chance," says ahe^ '• but half-a« crown " , , "No thalki; I'jb single—just come v down to Away Bhe flew, andShinbng I'd 1 escaped her, I rentured farther iv to fee the show, sir. Here slippers, cuibioai, smoking caps galore And—well, thiogt I'd never Veen before Except on clothes line near some cottage door, "Twas payday last week, and I had some tin, So iheugfit I'd speculate a'^rifle^ih -. *>: Some nick nack—and there's no mistake There were fine things of every shape and make* " Only a shilling; " —at my elbow stood A damsel with ••■iUlrediiaod. : Once more I said, " I'm not a married man, " Bmt will be just as soon aaVer I ; oan; " At present, nuis, red hoods I do not want, " But you and they this night my dreams will haunt." A , - / Just then the bar—refreshment stall—l spied, And ,tfl ;it in' hot haste to quaneh my thirst I hied. "Brandy and soda, please," mildly said I, And then repented—for the'lady's eye „ Told the I'd haw to tale my nightoap by* A lucky bag now came my round.'' '■' The first halfforown I ventured, soon I found Was lost to sight—to memory dear. Another, and another, then I spentGetting no prize, but told 'twas " only lent." (The' joke was good; perhaps; if joke was . .-:■■' .meant^^^^^/v ;:•:/■* '^-V^^:.: .*• v. ■.„ Sit timeg into tfie b*(? I dipped m 7 haiid, Aad got for fifteen bob—a ribbon band. . Some slippers then I tried ia tain to win At Yankee Grab, but my ill luck was in. ; A smoking cap—ah! that#as just the thing— Ahother crown—this time a lady's ring, . .But it no luc.k to this poor wretch did bring. j| I'd try and beat a quick retreat; The lotteries to me seemed all a cheat.

A whole wtek's .screw } by this had aearlr s Vnished; ""'- ',' lj . And; for, my nightcap I was well nigh famished,' ' ' ■' < So o$ I bolted, and my dreams last night T^ere all of damiels clad in'apbtleu white— Of cuihions, crochst work, and bridal dolls, And babies' hoods, and caps, and ladies' • shawTs.'-" "-■•'.■■ .V f Ojf numerous nightcaps sold at public ban, And har.l*earaed monty : spent at "grand" • bazaars.