THE TOWN CRIER.

Thames Guardian and Mining Record, Volume I, Issue 7, 14 October 1871, Page 2

THE TOWN CRIER.

“ Quiou lacotnnni tJial-a na Jxnaca cui/a sa rida na satha om/o." — Cakahau’s Advice to ms Sox. .v The Guakdiax, after all, lias deceived some of the knowing ones, who predicted only a few days existence for it. The all-absorbing topic of the week has been “Formosa,” and I certainly don't think any one conld really ask “for more, sir” (I know this'is an old pun, but still very appropriate) without having a surfeit of dramatic amusement. I am not a theatrical critic, thererore cannot tell you anything about “ Histrionic ” effects, or “ Pieces do resistance]” and as to Miss Colville possessing Jc nc sain quoi , that is an article I have never seen in any shop window. Your critic should give us some foot notes, as I heard some of my friends saying that a “ jimmy say quaw ” was a new thing in house-breaking implements. That Mr. B. N. Jones has had a great success there is not a doubt. No pains have been spared to produce “ Formosa ” with all the scenic effects, as witnessed in much larger towns.

So much has been said and written about Miss Colville’s rendering of “ Formosa” that I shall not for a moment attempt “to gild refined gold,or paint the lily nor even add a perfume to violet,” but this I will say, that no better delineation has ever been seen by “The Town Crier” and he saw the first production of the piece in London. Mr. Hoskins, Major Jorum, was inimitable, and the — ; — here lam attempting wliat I know nothing about, so I will content myself with what I have said. I was very much pleased with a very truthful telegram which appeared in the Auckland Morning News. It was this : “ Grahamstown, 10 a.m. Gas in the Caledonian mine.” Now, I do say this shows how history repeats itself, for it is not long ago that there was gas in the Otago. There is a common expression, “ both Rowe in the same boat!” Do you think this applicable here? I heard a capital . joke the other night, which 1 must give you. A certain literary man, whose name, : for the sake of the thing, might be Brown, Jones, or Smith, was returning home one evening, slightly “ mops and brooms,” when he tumbled against two men who were talking together. The man of letters struck one of the men with a stick. The order to “ draw ” being given) a general rough and tumble ensued. Our friend finding matters becoming somewhat sultry, made a bolt, for it, or should I say, “cut bis stick.” Ilis friends, however, (for such they were, having stuck to him closer than a brother) carefully followed him, being anxious to see who they had got hold of. They therefore rolled him in the mud and one sat on him (I suggested both had done so), while the other went for a lantern to view this specimen of humanity. The following lines from Dn Watts are verified :

“ Let dogs delight to bark and bite, For ’tis their nature to, But men of letters don’t get tight, It’s not the cheese for you.” Can any of your readers inform me what the “ Insanitary state oi a town ” is? Docs it apply to lunatic matters? or is it something to do with the new educational bill? It certainly cannot have reference to the state of health of the inhabitants. It surely must bo intended for “ insalutary.” Those who make a practice of usinglong words might take a lesson from the following speech I heard at the corner of a street :—“ The olcaudorical represeuta lion of hetrogeneous matters conclusively elucidates the physical developments of systematic denominational theory of educational embodiments.” If you can make this out, its more than I can. In an application fora situation a friend of ours stated that the “ climate of Wellington did not agree with him, &c.” I wonder at this, for it must certainly be better than Fiji, and yet many go there for a change of air. What asses we have been made in not hearing the Bray of a noted “wanted” who was promised to re-visit us by the last ‘ Hero.’ For your own good do send us a steady man with the. papers for Tararu. On Saturday last only one ever reached us, the remainder being thrown into a battery, and the bacchanalian deliverer was found in a creek by a limb of the law. I give 3'ou this as a hint.