THE HUMORS OF PORT CHALMERS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1829, 15 December 1888, Page 3

THE HUMORS OF PORT CHALMERS.

The Wanganui Herald is responsible for the following:—An event which will probably drag certain of the actors before the Divorce Court is the occasion of considerable popular excitement at Port Chalmers. A certain well-known official who resides at Port Chalmers some year or so ago parted with the wife of his bosom temporarily, to allow her to visit friends at a distance for a week. Taking pity on his grass widowerhood a friend asked him to stay with him while his wife was away. Unfortunately the friend had a good-looking wife, and the official seems to have sought consolation for his own wife's absence by devoting himself to his friend's spouse. In due course the friend's wife presented her spouse with a remarkably fine child which Borne kind friends said did not resemble him in the least, but which did reproduce with remarkable fidelity certain peculiarities of complexion noticeable in the official. With such a degree of filial anxiety did this estimable child desire to imitate its pa, and betray the parentage, that even the doctor in a jocular way remarked on the likeness, This was only taken as a joke at this time, and not until two months after did the friend's wife confess that the official was the actual father of the child. "When this did occur, however, the husband visited the official and demanded some satisfaction. To add insult to the injury, the seducer asked the husband to hush the matter for money payment. This was indignantly refused, and the matter became public. The husband's cause was taken up with an enthusiasm the Port has never shown any sign of possessing before. Not content with giving vent to their execration of the deceiver in ordinary ways, the citizens got up a monster procession, headed by the Garrison Band playing the Dead March in Saul. On a trolly drawn by two horses was a well-executed effigy of the gay sinner, and behind him a figure representing Auld Clootie with the orthodox horns, hoofs, tail, and pitchfork. Also on the trolly were a judge, two lawyers, and twelve jurymen. Between 8.80 and 5 this party drew up before the offender's house, and having vented their feelings in groans and hoots went on their way to the reclaimed land, when he was duly tried (in effigy), condemned, hung, and burned to the tune of a Salvation Army hymn. Then the procession returned to Port, the band playing " The Girl I left Behind me," Old residents of the Port say such popular excitement has never been seen there previously.