MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1761, 10 July 1888, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

In. England the cry is "Beign, Victoria! " In America it is " Hail, Columbia! " This is perhaps due to the freezing out of reigning families in America. "Did the wedding go oft smoothly ? " " About as Bmoothly as Buch affairs always go off. The only hitch that occurred was when the pair stood up to be united." A rising artist who paints historical pictures has an auut who one day exclaimed: "Anybody can paint a picture, but the trouble is to find a fool to buy it." An insurance agent, urging a citizen to get his life insured, said, " Get your life insured for a thousand pounds, and then if you die next week the widow's heart will sing with joy." At the club: Tatthedde-"I say, Chawlie —aw—why do all tjhe fellaws —aw call you —aw Balaam ? " Chalie ridiDg around with you all the time." It was an old Scutch woman, according to Punch, who, when she saw her pastor coming aloDg the road on a bicycle, said: "1 dinna like to see the meenester goiu' abopt the country on a cyclophedia." "I was teasing my husband last sweet, for aotne solitaires like yours, and what do you suppose he said?" "I. cau't imagine, dear. What whs it?'.' "He said I should probably have some by the time I am as old as you are."

" Oli, pray let me have my wav this time," said a young gentleman to his lady-love. "Well, Willie, I suppose I must this once, but you know that after vre are married, I shall always have a Will of my own." A witty and attractive young lady asked the following question: " What is the difference between myself aud a clock ? " " Mademoiselle, the clock tells the hours and you make us forget them," was the very natural reply. " I was pretty near being offended with that man," said A to B pointing to Cas he spoke. "Why?" "Because he called me a liar and knocked i me down stairs. It wouldn't have taken much more to have driven me mad."