AN EXAMINATION ESSAY ON MAN.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1712, 17 March 1888, Page 4

AN EXAMINATION ESSAY ON MAN.

[Br a Young Lady.] Men are peculiar; they wear No. 10 boofci and snore. That ii what makes it easy to teoognieo a man whon you Bee one. Men wear extraordinary hats, which are often very shabby; and carry umbrellas they are not careful of; when not losing them they are alwaya poking them into somebody's eyei. Men don'c gcisip 5 but they go to clubs and talk over the " news " and bet.

Men are consistent. They like to tee the dress of a lady plain and sensible, < hate flummery j' but let a lady in a' sensible' dress enter a trambar where'these men are seated, and she may stand an hour and not one of them offer her a teat, but when a lady enters arrayed in the height of fashion every one of them will spring to his feet and glory in the honour of standing for her take, or for the sake of her clothes.

Men never find any fault with themselves —not if they can help it, Adam showed them how they could help it, and they have profited by his instruction. Men take cold and tbink they are going to die, and when you carry a bowl of gruel to them they turn pale and ask you if yon don't suppose it would do just at well to take it next week. Men don't lead a poodle dog with a blue ribbon, but they smoke tobacco and perfume their olothes with horrid pipes. Men are always wanting a clean shirt, and when they get one they are always ready to say that there is not a button on it, whon fll the time the buttons will be there, only they can't find them. It is very seldom men can find anything. But though men are oourageous enough somet mej, they are perfect ninnies with babies and ladies. On taking one of these (the babies) in their arms the ohanoes are. that they will ohoke it, and they look and aotasif they'd like to. For lack of something to say they will ask who it is like, as if it never had parents! Or they ' wonder if it ean see,' as if it had no eyes in its head, They set down a four months' old infant on its feet to tee if it will walk away, and go into fits if it aqualli. If a man thinks he is in love he goes to church, or buys stand-up collars and a red tie, When he calls he is nervous and looks stupid. Men can't converse so well or so fluently as women. They say, 'Haw, haw, just so,' to everything. Sometimes they are really in love, when they look gloomy and say nothing. Girls know what it means, and sometimes (for fun) draw them on, When they are dejected they appear sad until they turn the corner, when they begin whistling] this is their way of showing despair. They are always getting themselves photographed, and invariably diolare .that the likeness is a horrid one.

Men hate clergymen and bazaars. Women don't beoanse it it moh fun. Clergymen don't talk orioket; but apeak freely of other people, and know everything. They like slippers. Other fellows aay 'hang them,' which ii inde, Medical students are horrid. If they visit often, you must watch the dog, as tiny will want to steal it. When they become doctora they are nicer. They gain praotioe by playing lawn tennis. Barristers are conoeited and think all tho girls in love with them. They walk about in gowns and play golf, and praotioe at bars. They shave often and are the best danoerß, but their talk is very dry. All men are very vain, and like to be called handsome. They are often stupid; too, but they don't think so. They have large feet and hands, Many of them are awkward, and tread on your dress, when they look frightened. Altogether, men are a great trouble, but they are handy to have in a house m a thunderstorm.