The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, JANUARY 25, 1887. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1544, 25 January 1887, Page 2

The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, JANUARY 25, 1887. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

The Timaru Herald of last Saturday announced that Messrs Ballantyne and Go. would commence their sale of drapery on the following day. "Tomorrow" was the word used by the Herald, and as Sunday was the " tomorrow " of last Saturday, there could bo no mistake about it. Now it is scandalous that m a strui-cirilised community like Timaru, the Sabbath should bs thus riolated and the religion* feelings of the people outraged. Of course the Bc-rald could not make a mistake about the day. The sun, moon, and stars may possibly go wrong, but the J

Herald never. It told Ub the other day I that,a cow belonging to a man named | C Sullivan, of" Arowhenua, hsd brought three calves into'the world the previous evening. There is no Sulliyan owning a % cow living at Arowhenua, and a cow ■ that has no existence coald not give existence to three calves. So people say. bat I do believe the Herald must be right. It also told us that a trout weighing 20£!b» was brought into town n not long ago, bat no one ever saw it, 5 Still it must have been there or the - Herald would not have said it. The Ij Herald is a reliable paper: very ! On last Saturday morning the Herald . announced that Joseph Ivess, Esq., M.H.R. bad served a writ for £2OO on j, the proprietor of the South C»nterbury J ' Times for a libel contained in an article which he published Bome time ago. In > the evening the Times announced that its proprietor had been served with a - writ by tbe lessee of tbe Herald. Ah 1 e this is nice. Observe bow " cocky" e little Joey places the letters M.H.R. after his name so as to swell out his _ importance ; also the attempt of his opponent to make himself look high by ■ oaiiing himself" proprietor'' and Joey small by calling bim "lessee." Who j could think that anything in trousers could be guilty of such pettiness, but " Morning insects in muok begun, Shine most radiant in the evening sun." 0 that they tried to be honorable as 1 hard as thpy try to appear so, how much more pleasant and comfortable they would make this world for themselves I Joey values his reputation as a lessee at D £2OO. I wonder what would it be worth had he been proprietor ? Reflect- - ing on these matters, and on the probable value of the reputation of a proprieter when a lessee's ia worth £2OO, I fel l into * reverie, and '■] my „ mind was gradually lifted up from,, the contemplation ot such vulgar things into i) the realms of etberealised thoughts., A . peculiar sorfof feeling stole \ over me, and, after a ehrrt.tinie, I found myself . unable to resist the desire I felt to write peotry. the following is the result:— TEDDY AND JOE. I'll sing you a ditty Of Timaru city, ' Where men feel amused at tbe pranks of the Press, For, so runs the story, I, " His opponent gory Has libelled poor Joe, and he's seeking redress; Oh bless us, how funny ! i 'lis worth all the money , To witness tbeir bluster,' effront'ry, and blow—- ) A barn-door rooster, A bantam»cock bruiser Are bipeds that typify Teddy and Joe. The devil is in it, A lie did begin it, Ted said bis paper wag taken by more i Than was the poor rubbish That Jeey r did publish, And this made (tie lessee feel terribly sore ; A ohallenge be printed, Gold guineas unstinted ' He offered if Teddy could prove it was so, But Teddy said : "Not me, You're only a lessee, Oo talk to your equals ' itinerant' Joe." J Oh, Holy St. Jumbo, And Christy Oolumbo, To seo Joey writhe neath this pride*crushing inub! He shipped himself seaward, And tottering to leeward The ocean was dyed by tbe bile be threw up. But, ah! in his absenoe, Like one bereft of sense (Asses can can never let well remain so), Teddy then abused him, And thus he accused him t " Youi? wager with Wright is unpaid yet, my Joe." In gay Melbourne city, Midst the fair and the witty, Sat down our cultured and great M.H.R. j Hiß language so clumsy Caused wags there and then say : "They're not civilized yet where he ahir.cs a star." He now reads the Hashup, He starts like a flash up, And swears " By the nail on my grandfather's toe This lie is a libel, I'll send bim a high bill, I'll post this to Wilding at once," utters Joe. The writ is now issued, And poor Teddy is sued, Joe values his fame at two hundred pounds— I wißh he may get it, Tho' ready to bet it All will be shared 'tween the wigs and gowns. Delighted I feel now That my enemies now, Like cats in Kilkenny, tear each other so, Ob may tbey stick to it Till both of tbem rue it And but tails remain of vile Teddy and Joe. The lessee made a fool of himself : the proprietor never believed bisxiwn ! paper was the beßt advertising medium. , He only said so jast for fun. If vou, reader, doubt this note that whenever ' the proprietor of the South Canterbury J Times has anything to advertise be : does not rely on bis own paper, but also , advertises in tbe Timaru Herald. Who can believe the South Canterbury Times , is worth advertising in when its own ( proprietor has not confidence in it to t get him tenders for cutting a few acres i of crop! I never knew anyone to cry |j " stinking fish " so loudly as this, and the man who does it must be a fool. - g Reverting back to the libel, I thick r it rough on the legal talent of Timaru b that tbe lessee should go to Christ- * church for a third or fourth-rate lawyer tj to conduct the case foi bim. He has thus 0( snubbed wig and gown in Timaru, and he will not find it gord for him. But u he is only au itinerant lessee; ho will « aonn be out of it, and he does not care. ai ' __ o The Rev. Mr Dowi' 1 , who poses as a '' " faith-healer," appears to b« one of [j| those divines who believe in muscular ff Christianity. He bad a stiff tussle with pf

the Kev. David Gordon recently in* Invercargill, and ho showed himself incapable of controlling his temper. My friend, the Rev. David, came to the/conclusion that Mr Dowie was not all that be represented himself, and he said bo. And then the Rev. Dowie put on; his war paint, and went for the Rev, David. His text contained the following words : "Be readj always to give aa answer-to any man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in yon, with meekness and fear." The first words he uttered he expressed a hope that Mr Gordon would reppnt and get rid of bis rheumatism, but be would assure bim if he did not repent " the devil would screw him up tighter." That was a nice way to give a reason of the hope that was in him in meekness and fear. Brit he went on, and he was hissed, and he told those who hissed him they were serpents. He bad fought the liquor traffic ; be had fought political wickedness ; ho i had fought Rome herself, but he had I never been treated so badly. That was I beautiful, especially fighting Rome ; he would not have been worth much until be had a dig at Rome. I wonder was Rome much hurt, or did Mr Dowie heal up her wounds and broken ribs ? Alter a , few more hits at the Rev. David ; he proceeded to controvert Mr Gordon's assertion "that the healing power of our Lord did not depend on the faith of the sufferer," and he asks, "If faith were not necessary bow came it that Christ could not work miracles where faith did not exist?" He then held that Mr Gordon confounded casting out I devils with healing diseases. For c»st- [ ing out devils faith was not necessary ; j for healing diseases Christ required the sufferers should bare faith. I should like to hear Mr Gordon answering this nonsense. I shall just have a dig at it myself. Christ brought the dead to life ; the dead could not have faitb, therefore, as Mr Gordon said, Christ did not require the sufferers to have faith. Now, that's one for me, Mr Dowie; you must study your Bible more deeply, my boy, when you come :around these parts.

And it came to pass that while the Rev/Mr Dowie continued in this strain a voice came from, the door, Baying, "Quite right!" and Mr Dowie answeretb, " in meekness and fear," saying, " Without are dogs !" and the voice from the door eaitb," It's all bounce !"; and Mr Dowie saith, "It's all facts,you lying sconndrel 1" And a great multitude took themselves up and walked ouf. And Mr Dowie saidj the devil and his agents in that town gloried in Mr Gordon's sermon. And it came to pass a Mr Deverell tried to entangle' him, and he told Mr Deverell he had, taken too much whiskey, and the. great multitude, knowing this to bo untrue, cried " Shame 1"

In Dunedin he abused the newspapers because they would not report him, and, in fact, while in Otago he appeared to have led the life of an Isbmael, with "his hand against every man," etc. Now, I believe that it is quite possible for the successors of the Apostles to possess tbe power of healing, but there is a point I should like settled first—ls Mr Dowie's exhibition of violent temper consonant with the meek and lowly spirit which characterises the piety that inspires confidence ? It is no business of mine, but it would be worth Mr Dowie's while to spend a half-hour thinking over it,

The manly game of cricket has been completely knocked in the head by the effeminate game of Uwn tennis. . In years past cricket flourished in this district; now the taste is turned the other way. " It's tbe seasonin' as does it," says Sam Weller, and "it's i the seasonin'" of the fair sex which mixes in the latter game that makes it so popular. Will no one come to the rescue p The season is drawing to a close, and not a of cricket has been played yet I Com O'Lanus. LOCAL AND GENERAL. Gebaldine Rifles. The Geraldine Rifle Volunteers are to elect a captain this e?ening. • The,San Fbancisoo Mail.—The out. going mail via San Francisco will close on Friday next. Sale of Hobses.—Messrs J. Mundell and Co. hold an extensive sale of draught and hackney horses'at their yards, Geraldine, to-morrow. Tenders. —Contractors are reminded that tenders for the erection of a master's house at Geraldine for tbe B.C. Board of Education close to-day. Tenders also close this evening for fencing oertain bush land for tbe Geraldine Town Board. Scholastic. The public sohools at Temuka and Winchester reopened yesterday, the a ; tendance of children being very good. The ladies'school conducted at Temuka by Mrs and Miss Jamießon and Miss Fr&ser will reopen to-day. Concert ax Pleasant Valley. The annual concert at Pleasant Valley in aid of the prize fund will take place on the evening of Friday, the 28th instant. A very tempting programme has beeH arranged, and at the conclusion of the concert a dance will take place. Ekbatum.-—By mistake the election for the Timaru Harbor Board was adrertised on Saturday last to take place on the 7th February, the time of olosing the nominations being stated as the 31st January. It will be seen by an advertisement which appears this ' morning that tbe correot date for tho election is February Lltb, and the day for re- 1 oeiving nominations February 7th. I The Comet.—The comet which was ' referred to in our columns on Saturday was plainly visible in this district the ! same evening. It is evidently \ very large one, The head was obscured bohind a In-avy b.ink of clouds close to fc'ie bon'zjn ( while the tail appeared to reach about j half way to the zenith. It was watched 0 with ereat interest by a large number of n person* - ' J •

Tbmuka Monthly Raib. —This sale takes place on Friday. Mr K. F. Gray advertises entries of fat and store cattle, sheep, pigs, and horses. : : :; ; J j : ;

Special Sbttibmbnts.—A good opportunity will be given on Thursday evening next to persons in Geraldine who wish to obtain information as to the terms, etc., upon which sections may be taken up in the settlements. Mr J. E. Maroh will attend, at the Town Board's office on that evening and give all necessary,information. Tbials; of Habtbbtebb;—lnour ttdvertis-; mgoolumns Messrs_ Siegert and Fau>el announce that''tffeyTiive' been appointed agents for.W. A. Wood's improved twine binder, and will hold a trial' of the same (weather permitting) to-morrow on the farm of Messm Sweeney Bros., Parkerson's Downs. A trial of one of these machines, under the supervision of Mr H. B. Webster, place at Geraldine yesterday, and was* most successful, the maohine doing splendid work in a rather heavy paddock of wheat. We are compelled to bold over a'report till our next issue.

THB RANOITATA WATBB Supply.—We have been unable to ascertain the result of the poll for the Rangitata water supply. Mr Stubbs is away in Dunedin, and we can-., not asoertain who.ii his substitute during his absence. We have been told, on what appeared to be very good authority, that the result will not be made known until Mr Stubbs returcs from, Dunedin. A bungle appears to have bean made somehow; the result ought to have been communicated to the Press, as a great many people are anxiously looting out .for it. ~ , Woodbury Jockey Cltx». —A meeting of this Club was held on Saturday evening in the Woodburyi Hotel. Present— Messrs F. U. Flatrnan, J. H. Dean, and T. Oorbett. The minutes of the previous meeting were read and confirmed. The balance-sheet as read showed that the Club bad a credit balance of £7 0a 3d. it was resolved to hold the annual race meeting on Easter Monday, April 11th. A very good programme was drawn up, which contains some good prizes. It was decided to hold'aoother Committee meet; ing on February "6thi and the meeting adjourned till that date.

—WbsiißYan Oourßßßircß. At the Wesleyan Conference at Auokland on Friday, the second draft of stations was "presented and passed. The following , shows the changes proposed :—Auckland, Grafton road, Taylor; 'Upper Thames, Lawry; Manuktu,, Baring; Franklin, Dellow; Hamilton, Bunn; Wauoa, Marshall; Buy of Islands, Joughin ; New Plymouth, Beck; Patea, j Bouse; Hawera, Wangaaui, Watkibs; Palmerston North* Law ; Wellington, Lee ♦ Gisborne, Brooke; Nelson, Ollirer; Hokitika, Luxfordj' Greymouth.'O. Griffin; Christchurch, East .belt,•„. Williams.;•, Lyttelton, TiDeley; Kaiapoi. Fairclbugh and Salter ; Bangiora, Grey ; Tiniaru, Martin; Waimate,'; F. W. Isitt; Balclutha, Abernethy;; Lawrence, Smith ; Invercargill, Bond ;; Gore, Blight; LakeWakatipu, Rothwell. Timaru -HiltßOß" Board.—We learu oh good authority that Mr John junr. has no intention of offering himself for re-election to a seat on' the Timaru Harbor Board. :Mr Kellaod is desirous of this being made known, so that any of his friends who may desire to become candidatesniay. not be deterred from doing eo' through believing that they would have to oppose him, The seat- for the Geraldine district is vacant, and we trust

it we shall soon hear of some candidates e offering themselves. Wo may add that ..'■ we regret—and the regret, will be shared by Ihe majority ef people in. the district —that Mr Kelland has decided on withy * 8 drawing from the Board. During his term ij of office be has proved himself a useful ;o membei, and one who gained,the respect 0 and esteem of all with whom he came in v contact ' Hilzok School—The annual school treat 1 was held on Friday last. Themorning broke e with a drizzling rain, but towards 12 o'olock it I cleared up and children and parents were ' 8 soon afterwards wending their way towards lt the school, where the festival was held. It , has always been the habit to distribute prizes n on "treat day," but on this occasion the I* Committee decided not to give book priees it as the Inspector at the examination declined 0 to name children for prates and there; was not time, to, have them otherwise examined on account of the harvest holidays commencing on the 20th instant. At one o'clock buns, u etc., were served out to the children and then e the sports commenced and were carried on till a about 3 o'clock, when tea and a plentiful supply of eatables were handed round to the children who were seated round outside the 0 school in a circle, fully 130 children must 8 have been present. After the ohildren had g finished the adults were invited into the school, |j where - ■ they partook of tea, and the Com- , mitteo have to thank Mesdames Cochrane, 1 Healy and Davey for the assistance they gave B the Committee. After tea sports were started i again and carried on until about 7 o'olock, j when permission was given to have a danoe in the sohool. Messrs R. Skinner, Bradley, Cochrane, and Leary were kept very busy during the day carrying out the various events. ' Altogether the treat was a most successful one and was heartily enjoyed by all who attended. Railway Refreshment Booms, Timabu. ) —D. McGuinness begs to inform his Burner- ) pus friends, and the travelling publio in particular, that having taken the above rooms for a fresh term he has decided to reduce the i charges hitherto made, and in future they will be as follow:—Breakfast in readiness [ for early trains, Is 6d; Hot Lunch or , Dinner, served up in the hitherto well-known profuse style, on arrival of North and Seuth Express trains, Is 6d. Tea and Coffee always in readiness, and ohoice confeotionery, &3. Ihe lessee would especially draw attention to the Ladies' Private Dining-room, which has been specially arranged and furnished for their convenience. A waitress is always in attendance. The usual Is Lunches are still continued at the Club Hotel.—Advt. i " Bt/ohtt-Paißa."—Quiok, oomplett cure til annoying Kidney, Bladder and Ur.uarj ( dilsasei. At Chemists and Druggists i Kempthorne, Prosier k Co. Agents, OJariat- { ehuroh. 1

BYNOPSI3 OF ADVERTISEMENTS. ' Concert and Dance—At Pleasant VaMey ' on Friday next. j K. F. Gray—Sells cattle, sheep, etc., at i Temuka on Friday. ' , , " I John Brown, Beach Farm, Milford—ln] rites tenders for harvesting. a J. E. March—lmportant notioe re Tillage j homestead special settlements at Geraldine j and Orari. j Siegert and Fauvel—Notioe re W. A. j Wood's latest improved twine binder, £ binding twine, etc , A. Keliuao, Geraldine Boad—Lost two bags of oats on Peokham's road on Thursday e last, and requests that they be returned to tl him. A. Maxwell, Saddler—Notifies that for « the convenience of his customers and friends n in (he Winchester disirict he has opened a hi repairing shop there; Timaru prices charged, f'it South Canterbury Drapery Importing ti Company, Timaru, J. D. Slater, Manager—jit; Notify tbat they are now sailing the balance h( of their ohoios stock of costumes, millinery, p< mantles embroidered dresses, laces, sunshades, pc •tc, at greatly reduced prices,. - fo